Hello to all who are reading this. I'm going to start with telling you a brief version of my journey, so if oyu are interested then please read on, any insight will be greatly appreciated.
Lets start at the beginning. My childhood was a mix of everyone telling me I have great potential if I kept my head down did as I was told then I would be anything I wanted. Which is a great thing to hear but when you say this to a 12 year old that 12 year old will just roll their eyes and try to enjoy childhood as much as possible.
Being an only child I was never really social, but I had many friends due to my kind nature. Life was good until my first real heartbrake. Which involved my girlfriend and my best friend. Long story short I found that I didnt really have real friends. Not to worry though I would be off to University where I met a lovely girl who I started dating and some awesome people. Long story short I put too much trust in my friends the one closest to me ends up snaking his way into the pants of the girl who I was going out with but was on a "break" at the time.(Ross and Rachel kind of thing)
So at this point I gave up, I was 21 stuck in a degree I wasn't enoying, getting a bit chubby (as I started smoking something that makes you a little hungry), lonely and overall not enjoying life.
Then the day of my 22nd birthday came. Almost out of the blue. Again I decided to get high and open the cards I recieved from my family. I think one person who wasnt family wished me a happy birthday and as sad as that sounds it did pick me up. Anyway there I am getting high and listening to alan watts lectures when youtube suggests I watch a podcast with Joe Rogan. I was bored so I did, he spoke about something called DMT, and I know he can be quite full on but what he said interested me and he spoke with such certainty and passion. That when he mentioned a guy called Terrence Mckenna. Who I had never heard of till then because "Drugs are bad kids, whats that you have a cold, take these drugs. Now stay away from drugs and everything drug related!."
So theres this thing called DMT apprently. I'm a very curious person and decided that I would try it(yes my intentions were probably not pure at first but it led me to where I am now). Eventually I came into some.
Let me paint you a scene here, albiet a sad one but stay with me. I'm a 22 no life chubby guy. Used to be full of joy always willing to help others but now spends most of his nights smoking weed to the point I just started to become a couch potato ( I know I was abusing it, but it was the only thing that made me happy and chilled). I load up a pipe and prepare to smoke the dmt when I start shaking. I was scared, that little voice in my head was repeating all the bad stuff about dmt. How it was going to mess me up because of how intese it was. That voice got so loud I just put down the pipe and decided I wasn't going to do it. "You can just go for a run tomorrow that good for you." I would always say those kind of things to myself. I'll sort everything out tomorrow.
So there I am arguing with myself, do I smoke it or not. I must have said F*** it because next thing I know I'm taking in this thick smoke.
"Tastes a bit odd but.... you know what, I don't know what the hype is I dont feel an........"
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
I guess that was blast off. I still remember what happened but I haven't fully figuredhow to put it into words yet. I don't think I felt the oneness, I felt this intense love. I still feel it now, my other emotions do interefere now and again but I was driving the other day with this massive smile on my face. I was like I was a teenager in the honeymoon period with his crush.
So just like that this drug managed to flick a switch in my head. One thing I will share is at one point after smoking it I got really scared, and I could see myself in my comfort zone. I was looking at myself but it wasn't me, if that makes sense. Afterwards I just felt free. As a first timer I only did a smallish dose but man it was still intense.
So yeah I hope all of that made some sense.
Drugs changed my life completely. I'm getting fit, I'm happier and I feel like me again (if that makes sense).
From what I've heard from peoples experiences I think I rank pretty low on the scale but still it was better than no experience at all.
Time to explore this new world.
Peace!