So many beautiful answers here, thank you everybody, that means a lot to me!
Gonna try my best to give you answers.
Well Rryan, I think the loneliness of that perspective maby have a "small" affect indeed, I have had trouble with Drugs a couple years in fact, always loved to escape from reality and discover the unknown on the other side. But on the other hand, I have things that I love in life, I'm a artist, music producer and DJ, and on the music front I'm getting closer to my goal, gonna play my first gig next summer. I have never been in a such great position like this, but simultaneously not positive.
But I will think about what you said Ryyan.
I have always been super sensitive to others for many years, my mom as well, we have the same "issues" and talk about it a lot. As soon a person comes into my house I can feel how they are, I have one friend who I know have some bad energy issues, when he sits with me, it is like a wall is getting build up between us, a feeling of getting pushed away from him, and it's difficult to make eye contact. Everything he talk about is crime, weapons, dealing, violence and so on, but he have a nice side that I'm trying to get out.
He tripped with me on Psilocybe on time, and he wanted to play a game, something I really don't like at ALL ore see the point doing when you are taking psychedelic, and the game included violence. I forced myself to do this to support the presence of my friend, and I noticed my inner soul started to cry, my tears rushed down my face, and I realised I am really a soul inside a human body. I needed to puke, and get away from him, and had some time alone in my bathroom. How can he enjoy this? I have spent very little time with him after this.
I analyse everything, and have a urge to help people to get in harmony, I feel it's like my main goal in life, to make others happy and create pure love. I don't know why. I was always the silence kid in school monitoring from the outside, It was my way of learning, and understand life. I had problems to keep attention in class, because I ended up deep in my imagination.
I remember sometimes I could get a feeling off healing, bless, peace, like a stimulation, like a aura glowing around me with a super good feeling attached to it. The feeling was better than any "drug" I have experienced, pure, 100% pure love touching me, like a pulsating vibe.
This is something that slowly fayded away as I grew up, I have experienced it now and then in the last years as well, but never on that level.
Maby I'm to much in my mind, maby I got a delusion on how the world is, I'm not sure, and now I notice I wrote way to much.
But, as one of you was saying, I gonna start to accept people as they are, accept life as it is, and start thinking different, thinking has a huge impact on how we feel I have noticed.
And I gonna try the bubble thing

And 112233, I don't like my job. But have new plans for the summer, going a place to deepen my art skills and meet new people that I know is on the same road.
I'm open to everything, maby you see something that I don't see in the writing, if I have a problem I will humbly start to fix it.
And for the Star Cildren site, all the characteristics that was pointed out fits me. But I take everything with a pinch of salt, and don't want to set my self in a "oh, I'm so special" light.
And One last thing, sometimes, when I go to sleep, I get a intense fear, like something is in my room watching me. It's scary as hell, and then I usually the same night dream about getting killed, over and over again, to a point where I get used to it. And the next day I wake up and I'm super creative, new ideas arise and my energy is on top notch. Really weird.
Guess my life has been a pretty interesting life so far, and looking forward for more.
Nexians, Thank you so much for taking your time to read about this, you have no idea.
peace and love.