It's been a long time since I've actually done things to improve myself and help others. I was starting to get caught up in the world around me - as many of us do, but I caught myself just a few years short of being stuck living a routine life. I decided long ago that wasn't for me.

The decision was rather abrupt. I was asked if I wanted 'Acid' when I decided it'd make for a nice weekend and it was a change of pace from weed. This was just last year, I had no experience with any psychedelics yet, but had aspired to try LSD and shrooms for quite some time. What I was sold was not LSD - the time for that came months later - rather it was a research chemical that had only been out for a few years.

We talked for a little bit and I decided why the hell not and took the tab instead of taking my money back. Little did I know that one chemical would change so much about me - not just how I live my life, but how I treat everyone, how I feel, and how I have become an overall better person. I grew up a lot in a short time, I realized I had this desire to help people, and I also realized how truly awesome life is a short while later.

I spent the better part of that weekend researching this as it was nothing I'd heard of before, but I wanted to explore at least a fraction more of my mind than I did soberly or with marijuana. I read countless experience reports and talked to a few people. Saturday night at roughly 11pm I decided to place the tab in my mouth.

The first time I did it, it was rather mild, so I thought 'maybe it was a bunk tab' and did it two days later - which completely blew my mind. The next day was filled with adventures of smoking and hearing music in a new way for the first time ever. I was completely amazed and still to this day say that the trip began a change for the better.

I am a firm believer in living life as freely as you want while being safe the whole time. There are risks that are taken everyday consciously or not, these risks slowly started to become more relevant to me and I realized that I wanted to experience life after a few more trips of this chemical.

As time progressed I tried drugs in different categories, it wasn't just limited to psychedelics. However I always made sure to know my dosage, put time into learning about the drug, and then writing about what I did during the time I was high and how the drug made me feel. I'm not proud of this, but it has overall made me a more knowledgeable person. I now have my friends ask me about drugs, can tell them safe doses on a number and tell them the basic effects.

For having just turned 18 on Friday I have a number of experiences although I'm young. I've made sure to be safe the entire time (even though I'm not crazy safe) and have learned my limits. Through psychedelic use primarily, I have become a more caring and compassionate person, I have strengthened my friendships, and I have been able to part with certain things the same way a little kid can. Money is not nearly as big a worry for me, I'd rather do with less and share what I have than be greedy.

I am at the point in my life where I feel genuinely happy when I do many things, where as just two years ago I was suicidal and schemed ways of just ending it. Throughout my life there have been numerous changes and some years hold more than others, the year I was seven-teen held some of the best changes of my life. I went from being depressed to being happy. I became more outgoing and carefree around people. I became kinder to everyone. I found things that I love to do - write poetry, draw, and research things that interest me. I have found a community of people that I truly love and care for and want to help.

I can say the last year of my life has been beautiful and blissful. I can say for the first time in years life and I are in good standings. I can say all this but what does it really all mean? Am I the same person I was just a few years ago, but am just masking myself with psychedelics? Or am I a reborn person who has found many things he cares about in his life? I'm going to say I'm the second of the two. I've changed, I've become loving and caring, and it's all apart to the community that certain elements of life have brought me into.

That's why I'm here. I'm here to join your community to build friendships, help more people, and gain even more knowledge to what I've gained over the past year. I'm here to hear and learn about this "spirit molecule" that has supposedly changed so many lives. I am here to share my experiences, gain new ones, and to develop even more into the person I am slowly becoming.

My name is mamimah. I turned 18 on Friday. I live in New Jersey. I love life and believe that through the expansion of our minds we can improve our personal qualities of our lives. We can find secrets about us that we don't even know. We can find love, compassion, joy, and a number of other emotions. We can become better people. We can explore ourselves.

Welcome to the nexus, mamimah!