Im not sure why im making this thread but i feel that i havent been around much and i want to explain to whoever cares.
The last few years ive indulged alot of psychs and dissios searching for something beyond this material world we are usually stuck in.
Its like my subconsious mind has led me to these incredible experiences to make me understand that god is real and we are all one and all that good stuff
During this time ive also struggled alot with a serious back injury that has kept me from doing the physical activity i love so much which is brazilian jiu jitsu and strength training.
A recent pharma trip with amanita muscaria showed me that everything is like its supposed to and that my body broke down for a reason.
Im a hardhead and to driven for my own good sometimes and pain was the only way for life to truly break my ego and set me free from the bad relationship i had with working out as a way to escape from my problems.
Now i am finally free from my pain and iam also free from alot of bad habits that i had to break to heal properly.
I no longer sit down much, ive totally eliminated sugar,wheat and other poison from my diet and my mind is at peace without working out 10 times per week.
I also no longer feel the need to trip balls every weekend so i feel iam finished with that part of my life for now.
I will keep indulging amanitas and cannabis once in awhile since feel they help me with my recovery and put me in a medititave state without messing with my body like all psychs do.
Even psilo mushrooms make me feel weak a few days after.
Also i feel ive broken my old ego totally and this new and improved one doesnt need to be broken just yet.
Right now im just focused on getting strong again and slowly getting back into bjj again without the obsesive compulsive behavior this time.
I will still be around but im not sure when i will need to dose again if ever.