Howdy Ho Folks,
I hope this finds you well, and free from pain
So I'm a fairly long time lurker, who wants to delve deeper, improve my understanding, share my knowledge and somehow give a little back. I really appreciated the tone of the introduction text and was warmed by the thought of a group of people who do rise above petty squabbles, ego blips and who are aware of the concept that we don't really know anything for sure, so lets keep an open mind.
I like to think I have one too, although if I'm honest, I fail that doctrine most days. But then I remember, take stock and try to pry open that mind. I'm far from perfect, but keep on trying to improve.
Since I was young I was fascinated by different ways of looking at the world. Through animation and tales of the sixties, art and literature. And through concerted research and good friends who also wanted to alter consciousness, I've seen things and thought things that lead me to believe I know virtually nothing. What I do know is love is the best thing, and Nature is truly wondrous and beyond words.
I could literally type for hours on this subject (me) but am aware my ego is big enough as it is (even though it's pretty fragile, ah the life of an entertainer
, so I'll just recount specifics to give you a small idea where I'm coming from.
Journey to other realities began when I was 16 and hash was smoked for the first time. LSD at 17, Mushrooms, Amphetamine Sulphate & MDMA at 18, Ketamine mid 20's, and odds and sods here and there. Raving and shared collective love changed my life undoubtedly, and is enjoyed even to this day, although very infrequently.
So psychedelics have been an occasional part of my life for over 20 years now, and I'm thankful for their influence and teaching. I know that nothing is what it seems on first observance, and I'd like to believe we are all 'one'. Perhaps LSD is too long of a trip for me these days, too taxing, but Psilocin opens up a window to true beauty and wonder and learning and nature that I just adore.
4 years ago I started studying Terrence McKenna and Rick Strausman's work, and have pondered consciousness and the universe... I don't think I'm any closer to understanding, but am more open to possibilities.
So DMT was always something I wanted to try. Me and my best friend read about it in our teens (although the information was scarce, and kinda sketchy) and it was always searched for, but never found. So what with more shared information being available in more recent times (thankyou internets) and a basic competency at using my hands and brains, it was finally procured.
So my first forays were with a small amount in a roll up, which produced some incredible closed eyed visuals, but with an awareness of where I was and what was going on in the 'real' world. This was tried 5 or 6 times, with a real sense of 'another' being with me. After reading McKennas accounts and watching The Spirit Molecule and reading trip reports on Erowid.org, I was curious whether these entities were actually separate from me and being accessed through exciting my brain to a new level/ frequency, or whether they were manifestations of myself, my imagination... Up to this point I was a committed atheist, a man of science, but the seeds of doubt were being sown.
Then a nice pipe was found and the world was changed forever. breakthrough!
this was about 18 months ago, and is still being assimilated in a way. It's not something that I want to abuse (like I have with cannabis, through unwitting addiction to nicotine - now overcome) but it seems to be time again to revisit. During my time in the breakthrough, when I suspended above the huge lake of shimmering crystals, with the clouds floating a mile away, as if on the wall of a snow globe (with me sat in the centre) one cloud formed into the smiling head of Buddha, or perhaps Vishnu, floating peacefully in the distance. As I asked it "what can I learn" I was reassured that nothing this time, not this time. So perhaps the next time I will learn something...
Who knows, we learn something every day, which is good. I think I've learned that I am starting to waffle, so I will post this and hopefully haven't bored anyone who has read it. Please feel free to ask me anything, I'm happy to be 100% honest (no asking for my PIN number
and become a functioning member of this community.
I believe that our relationship with the Earth and the molecules we find it in are no accident, and freed from greed and fear, we can use them to improve our lives and everyone else's. I hope that one day, more peace and harmony can be achieved, although to be honest, I doubt it. Still, you gotta try!
big love going out to all you folks
cheers
xx