I wanted to give this a little more exposure, solicit for more feedback, and move this trip report to a more logical thread than where I originally posted it.


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I said I would report back again. I tried the egg white clarification. I live by the scientific method, afterall. Trial and error by careful lab notebook.

30g acacia confusa + 6g syrian rue
Another 3g syrian rue in a stevia sweetened ginger tea, sipped slowly over the first two hours of the voyage.



(-30 minutes) Small amount of cannabis to aid nausea.

(Time Zero) I drank the first 30mL at 10am.

+20 Feelings of joy.

+26 Starting sipping S. Rue tea.

+30 Body vibrations. Energy flowing through me.

+36 I want go to deep. I drank another 30mL. Nausea okay. A little at a time is key. Huge shots all at once are not a good idea if you want to keep it down.

+49 Even in the sunlight of day the visuals are beyond my control. Everything is beautiful. I can see the details our primate eyes do not see.

+55 Gone. Deep.

+1:10 Purge. Rejuvenating. Life flows freely again.

+1:13 Can I push further into the abyss? Will my body carry me safely?

+1:27 It's calling me to surrender. This is what I want. This is why I came to this place.

+1:31 Icaros guides me. My body needs breaks. This is exercise like any other.

+1:41 Small amount of cannabis to relieve my body woes and let the walls of my inner fortress open. My mind is impenetrable. Not even I can (yet) have the power to open the doors to my heart and soul. My entire life has been spent mindfucking, and playing psychological games with people rather than sharing my deep compassionate love with them. The riddles of my inner machinery is clear to me. I'm addicted to outsmarting the people I love, and setting psychological traps for them. Games are pure distraction from what is important in life.

+1:53 Exploring flow experience through my animal vessel.

+2:02 (Beginning to scribble in my journal) I am having trouble seeing the 3-dimensional world. I can't see past the visuals. I am deep in the shit now. Laughter! Uproarious laughter and joy! I am at home in my growing kingdom. My prowess grows stronger as I nurture the soil in which my roots nest.

+2:10 Still holding on strong. Haven't surrendered yet. Aya is calling me... Beckoning me to dive back in--dive deeper into the abyss. My naive bravery is strong enough to carry me far, far away, where only foolhardy and ignorant get lost, or where The True Warrior can go voyage safely to.

+2:15 Stretching and exploring my sanctuary. Grounding myself in the comforts of my safe sanctuary.

+2:17 The light tells me life rewards courage.

+2:37 Ready for launch: I drank another 30mL.

+2:40 I have tapped into the predatory soul of the world. Balance is the key to sustaining all life. I am a born predator of the abstract.

+2:43 It has told me to exercise my bravery when I return. Build your prowess, it says. Keep going. Fears do not serve you anymore.

+2:47 Going deeper. I drank another 30mL. And I finish the last of the S. Rue tea.

+2:56 (Switched to audio recordings and scribbles) I have not surrendered yet. I feel strong. I fear nothing. I have been completely swamped by this confusing world. Cognitive faculties are in check, fortress holding strong, but the walls are weakening. Clarity of thought is a difficult struggle. Meditating on the love in my heart maintains my cognitive faculties. It is all I have left. My body is gone. Only my soul remains.

(+3 hours) Still headed towards the peak. While meditating, I was shown by the light that my sacral chakra needs to strengthen and open. Posture. Confidence. This has been the direct cause of my ulcerative colitis all my life.

+3:05 The Choice: Learn to listen to your inner voice, and tune in it to the immediate needs and care of your body, or you will perish. Choose the Hero's Journey, or be annihilated and forgotten. The Choice is yours to make. You are a rare breed of creature with unusual needs. Live well, or die a slow death.

+3:11 Your fortress blocks out the music of your soul, it tells me. I still have not surrendered. It does not matter if my eyes are open or closed now. I only see and hear visions. Laughter. Uproarious laughter! This is what you came for....

+3:24 I am ready to free myself.

+4:57 Small amount of cannabis to relieve my body woes and let the walls of my inner fortress open. Still no surrender.

+5:24 Peak passing. Had a beautiful heart to heart connection with my significant other. She called. It was almost like her soul reached out to mine to lend me the strength to keep going. I welcomed her to my growing, abstract kingdom. We are building a kingdom, I told her. She accepted my invitation to expand our realm, protect and nourish the roots we share, and grow together harmoniously. We are both late bloomers in life. Beauty awaits us in the future. Patience. Work is coming ahead.

+5:27 Fear is the most powerful distracting force of all of nature. It is what balances life on the brink of death. I dare go deeper. Diving back in deep again.

+5:30 I drank another 30mL.

+5:49 My fortress is crumbling. As I approach the deepest voyage I've ever conceived of in all of my life, now my body is screaming for sleep and food. But I'm deep in the shit again. My animal vessel is now holding on for dear life. Full surrender comes and goes in waves now.... There is no fighting it anymore. I lay down in the sunlight in my sanctuary and allow my brain and body to rest. I have a long voyage still ahead.... Let the energy of life flow through you. Accept full surrender.... Peace, love, and joy await you....

+5:55 (Lost my cognitive faculties by ~90%. Scribbles and whispers into the audio recording only) The darkness shows you the infinite. Relax, it says. Quiet the brain. You don't need it here. You are safe. Relax. Relax to protect your body. Save your strength.

+7:00 Still peaking. 1.0mg Klonopin taken to make my brain shut the fuck up. Starting to get trapped in distracting logical loops my mind doesn't have the energy to work through. Exhausted..... Relax. Enjoy the ride, it says. It is only as rough as you make it....

+7:20 Accept the pain of life. Connect with your body. Rest. Enjoy.

(+8:00 Hours) Coming off the tail end of the peak. Biggest surfing lesson of my life!

+8:20 My loving significant other arrives home. She brings her warm smile and comforting touch. I am still in the tail of the peak, but I am beginning to bask in The Afterglow!

+9:00 Life is beautiful beyond beautiful. My body and brain are exhausted. The journey is coming to an end..... I still see visuals beyond which I can control. But I can work through them. I cooked a fabulous dinner on autopilot. My sense of taste and smell vanish once the soul transcends the body. I am grateful to have them back. Food is wonderful. =)

+11:00 Still swaying to the sound of my soul's inner harmony. Small amount of cannabis to ease my mind and body towards sleep. My body needs recovery time now... Overwhelmed by feelings of joy and compassionate love.



This morning, after waking up from a deep, restorative sleep, I took an easy walk instead of my usual morning run. And instead of running through the city streets and park where the homeless people are in the process of abandoning their makeshift camps, I brought with me warm bread and a thermos of coffee. I made lasting eye contact with them as I strolled past them, one by one, until I found someone that smiled back at me. It's in that happy gaze that I can see their true nature. I gave him my warm food and coffee. His name was Jeff. I told him I am happy to meet my neighbors. The act of compassionate giving is what heals our inner pain. It felt wonderful. It clearly made his day. He didn't want me to leave, lol. I told him I'd be back sometime again.


So whether or not it reduced the strength of the brew, it doesn't really matter (this time). This voyage was the deepest I've ever gone (4th voyage, 3rd breakthrough voyage). I don't think it's necessary to push your body and mind as hard as I did in order to receive the healing power of plant medicine, but it is important to me to test the true strength of my inner fortress. My burgeoning kingdom is only as strong as the fortress and gates I reign supreme over. The bravest of the brave have something to prove, but only to themselves. This type of journey is not for everybody. I know for a fact that no other close friend I know can withstand the terrors of the lost mind and come back again, only to brush it off like it's no big deal. Most would be traumatized by this repeat diving into the abyss for 11 hours straight. PLEASE, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REPEAT THIS JOURNEY WITHOUT FIRST TESTING THE WATERS AND LISTENING TO WHAT YOUR MIND, BODY, AND SOUL ARE CAPABLE OF HANDLING. RESPECT THE PRECIOUSNESS OF LIFE.

Reader: You have been warned.

very nice report. Thanks for sharing. Have you journeyed with mimosa or just acrb? I would be curious the subjective differences if you have used both and can compare. I have only had mimosa/rue tea and am curious to try acrb.

I relate to your struggle of 'letting go'. I too have struggled with that on my mimosa tea journeys. I have had 7 journeys to date ranging from the super deep (full ego loss with 0 eye/body/reality connection) to moderate (more deep meditation and reflection on my noisy ego/inner dialog). Mimosa has been a harsh but effective teacher for me. Others have said it, and I find it true... 'dmt doesn't give you want you want but what you need'. Apparently I needed a soul smacking

My first mimosa tea was far too high of a dose (10g 3x30min boil w 5g rue 3x30min) and I was ripped from body/ego and spent a few eternities in a void of death and nothing... nothing but a memory of fear likely caused by the harshness and quickness of feeling body death until there was 0 connection left. As I lost touch with ability to know if I was breathing, I lost open/closed eye visuals and knew that I'd killed myself.. as my ego died I lost the concept of 'I'. The journey showed me my biggest fear, death with nothing beyond -- no loved ones, no afterlife, nothing but a void to soak in fear and loneliness.

After eternities in that place, short waves of lucidity existed and I fought for sanity as my ego started reemerging. I fought and fought sooooo hard. I've never been so exhausted fighting anything in my life. A thousand times a thousand I fought in and out of the waves of lucidity for shreds of identity... for my ego back. All the while, right out of sight was all the fear, terror or what was waiting slightly outside of view... terror and fear that if I gave up the fight even for a second I would slip into that terrible place again and never find a way out.

As terrible as I would guess I make the experience sound it was likely the single best experience I could have had. I faced that life exploding fear and emerged from it. It no longer controls me. Oddly, 9 months now since that trip, I want to go back to the void. I see it as a place to find peace. No expectations, no worries, no thinking, no ego, no body... true peace. Mimosa wasn't kind with me showing me all that fear, but it was kind in showing me that place. I almost see it as a place to repair all the self damage a soul creates... a place to not have to 'be'. It is not a negative place, the negative was only the echo of my ego screaming as I died. I look forward to going back and not dragging along my fear for the ride.

Thank you for sharing that. I am looking to do this with my acrb. I agree with friken about dropping the fear. That experience sound pretty intense. Letting go of the existance of my ego was also the most frightening moment of my life and that was with freebase so it did not seem like forever.

excuse my ignorance, but why are egg whites added o_0?

The egg whites bind to the tannins which are a large part of what makes you purge and heavy body load. here is a thread talking about it, but I know there are some others:

https://www.dmt-nexus.me....aspx?g=posts&t=5662

edit: found it, scratch that

Sorry for the delayed response. Life's been busy lately.




Only ACRB, and only with Syrian Rue so far...




I can relate to that quite well. I'm up to about 10 breakthrough experiences to date now, and the experiences have varied from the greatest, most beautiful euphoria, to a total, terrifying bitch slap of a mental storm I just had to ride out, like getting stuck on a mountain top during the worst weather ever. You just have to find your inner peace and use it as shelter until the storm passes....




I've been there as well. My girlfriend was asleep in our bedroom, and I was stuck in a logical loop in which my memory only seemed to function for maybe 5 seconds (versus the more typical ~90 seconds of working memory), and therefore I would do things like feel cold, stand up from my ceremonial spot on the living room floor to go get a blanket, only to forget why I stood up, feel like I should be a responsible adult and not bother my girlfriend's sleep, sit back down, feel cold, stand up again to get a blanket, and round and round and round I went for at least an hour, maybe two hours. In hindsight, the trying to be an adult about it on my own was kind of stupid. I wasn't panicking. I was just stuck. If I had just gone to her and said "can you help me for a minute?" everything would have stopped, and everything would have been cool.

I learn something about the sink and swim of the DMT world with every journey.






Yeah, I've fought the emotional stuff a few times pretty damn hard. I end up finding myself emerging in the afterglow sweaty, exhausted, anxious, but really glad the voyage is coming to an end for the day.




I can also agree with the terrible experiences being paradoxically the same as the most profound, best experiences. Psychological breakthroughs are incredible, and really, really bizarre in this way. It feels like self punishment, but then I realize that is also the fear in me talking. It's not self punishment at all. It's painfully hard work, and when it comes to an end, what you're left with is incredible, (so long as you haven't developed some form of PTSD from it).

Hi, I have also been taking SR/Acacia Confusa as well for the last few weeks, mostly at a moderate dose where I experienced mostly just visuals and was still in control. I wanted to go deeper and decided to increase my dosage by 3 g. Little did I know that this would make a huge difference in my trip.

I was actually quite terrified by the experience not because of any entities or spirits I encountered, but because I briefly experienced a loss of control that I though was psychosis or dementia, where I didn't know who or where I was and had disassociated from the body and world. Just before this loss of control, I had a sense of the escalation of things to the point of life or death, as though I had to make a decision to either fight or perish. I felt a very profound sense of my physical death at hand, and had the feeling that I was willing to kill to keep from being killed. This was a taste of death, both of my own death as well as the death of anyone whom I perceived as a threat, and thus it felt like I was willing to commit murder to extinguish a mortal threat. This terrified me to feel this way.

In retrospection and after reading similar reports, I wonder if I was taken to the brink of ego death and my ego was willing to lash out violently to protect itself. I don't know if I would have acted out these primal feelings of survival, but I was afraid that I could have harmed myself or others. I felt that I was lucky to have made it through without causing great harm. Is this a real danger or just perceived?

This loss of control and what I perceived as psychosis sounds a lot like what you also describe as loss of control and the void. I think I may have stepped into that void very briefly and I was absolutely terrified by it as I had never experienced it before. But if that is the proverbial ego death that everyone talks about so much, then that puts me at ease knowing I was not going to commit violent acts in that states (although I hear that they sometimes do need to restrain people in ceremonies).

So is there a real danger of committing harm to self/others in this detached state where you lose all control? I suppose I was so terrified because I was not expecting it and did not know what it was. But maybe now that I can identify it as ego death and understand that others have been through it, then it will not be so terrifying next time.

I wonder if taking more journeys at the lower dose will also help me to ease into the ego death as I increase the dose. That loss of control and detachment was very very scary for someone who's never experienced it before. At the time, I felt that I had taken a great risk and put my life in danger, not knowing what I would have acted out in that disassociated state. But at the same time I can imagine what an incredible experience the ego death is and how profound and life-changing it can be, and would like to experience it for myself.

I assume you are going solo in these journeys? Do you have these concerns of safety?

Hi phantasiae

On high doses of psycedelics you experience very pure feelings.
You have to let go if you go that deep.
Resisting the ego death is very unpleasant and can even stop a DMT trip.
In modern society you will most likely never get to a point that you got to.
So be greatful and next time relax.

Have a gud one