So I guess I am new to all this sort of...

I just wanted to introduce myself...

Heya all ! Name is _______ I am married and father of three.
I am in my thirties. Sign Aquarius.

5 things i hold sacred to myself.
1. My Children.
2. My Virtues.
3. Love.
4. Truth.
5. Faith. I believe in more then just myself.

5 Thing's i enjoy the most.
1. Playing with my kids.
2. Mountain Biking / Trail Riding.
3. Cheesy 60's & 70's comic book art.
4. Edgar Rice Burrows Novel's.
5. Currently this forum.
Considering i have been here reading now for close to four days non-stop.

I am so grateful to of had stumbled upon this forum.
It is just filled with so much very useful information.

So long story short. My adventure began at a very early age. I would have to say around 10yo. I watched this movie called Emerald Forest..... The Emerald Forest
This is what started a very long and passionate curiosity about indigenous people and there culture. I have always wondered why cant all human being's live and learn like the ones who hold nature sacred. Too me this has always represented happiness in harmony.

Instead we are stuck in this non stop movement towards progress at all costs.
Our planet, Our species, and the ones we share it with.

What is our purpose ! Why are we here ? Why am i here ? Why have i been here before ?
What part am i in this process, to just merely exist ? Why cant we coexist with the natural world ? Why is it so hard to just live every day knowing i am being anchored controlled set in place and policed by a greater force. I have strong feelings that we are all living the wrong way but it is so hard to change because of distractions. so... on and on....ect bla...Brain meltdown.
Can this "organic gift" help me with the answers i seek & the guidance i desperately need ?

I have been studying this "Gift" now for close to 5 years.
everyday i am actively searching for more information about this experience and culture.
I know that written words can not even come close to describing the experience but none the less i have been preparing my self to experience this gift myself
I am sort of at standstill. I am indecisive as to how to experience this gift
freebase dmt and hope i don't lose my shit. Or with a experienced shaman to cleans and guide me. I am also not sure if i will like a rush over a journey ? I am also in the Midwest so.... far away....and expensive.
I have done my fair share of stimulants.
I am no stranger to them.
Once had a out of body experience with lsd and was forced to look at a receding mirror image of my self dying on my bed. lost complete control and understanding with everything. My body was forced to shut down to a complete blackout and haven't done lsd since. Ive had psychological damage as a result. Three others in my group were also sent to a psych ward for psychological damage. All were experienced with the lsd. The census was it was dirty acid if there is such a thing ? I was also addicted to mdma for a bit there in the 90's and i smoke too much grass now, But it keeps my focus. I have had quite a unusual last two years. I was able to fix, correct a lot of underlying past psychological problems with my mind. no help other then thought and time. I don't believe in consuming Pharma.
Other experiences i have had were nothing like this and were all positive for the most part.

So since i spilled my guts and all.... Were do my cards lay.
safer not to order on the net ? I have a lot too risk...
Other option is to travel but too what extent and at what cost ? others are included into this equation. So this must be done responsibly in every way...

Thank you for reading and listening and understanding. It felt good to just get some of this out of me. There may be more that comes out in the future... AstroidBlues