Heya, iam new here. Not only here, but also to the experience of spice. Went through all the production phase and finally tried it last wednesday. I did 15mg. it sucked me inwards fast and pretty heavy. I was not really prepared to this intensity and the fact that i had no controll at all anymore. I was being pulled out of my geographic and social construct, realising that my mind was telling "why the hell did you do that? Dont do this again!" So, i wasnt easy enough to let go and mentally and even physically i went against it. I went very fast and a sound was increasing frequency. It did not feel comfortable, not really at fear but something inside of me wanted to stop it .. and then my mind instructed my body to move and open the eyes. I needed some time for orientation, but finally i got it all together again. The optic and colors of my room were amazing and i was so amazed that i got up and walked around. My yoga mattrass looked like a flying carpet, glowing yellow orange and on it there were floating orange red letters and signs like a banner. I hardly can remember any visuals from the first part of the trip. I can only recall the feelings, however, the 1st part touched me deep. At first i had the idea "oh man, you got a bad trip", or "oh man the spice was telling you to stay clear from it".... But after some further meditation it became obvious that i am in fact not even close of beeing in full controll of myself, the king of my personal kingdom and that my mind, emotions and body actually controll me. They had fear to give away controll, they had fear to die or whatever.. not ME! If I decide to take a journey, those two buggers will try to sabotage it!!! Realising this, the feeling of "am i......who?" took sharper forms and i remebered the first part of the trip rather from the position of an observer who seemed to be not allowed to remember much and who could only pull all this together thanks to the experience. Ex post, utilzing my mind as a scalpel to diffentiate, i have a lot stronger feeling of who iam and i can wholeheartedly say I am NOT THE MIND. Iam NOT THIS EMOTION, this fear or that need..... I am also NOT THE PHYSICAL BODY. I AM OBSERVING this trinity and they should all surrender under my governance as I AM THE KING in my own house. They are tools. Withoutnthe mind i wouldnt be able to integrate all this, but thats it. I need to take place on the driver seat.
I am extremely thankfull for this experience and like a good king I wil now roll out a more intense program to make them surrender one by one.