Good afternoon, Nexus!

Ok, it is very possible that I am posting in the wrong area but this is the main question that I joined the Nexus to ask.

There is an awful lot of specific terminology used to describe the spice experience so I will use those terms but I just want to remind that I am only using these terms because I have seen that others understand and can relate to them. I have no knowledge of the spice experience outside of my own research and passion for the subject, so please, in true Nexus fashion, be patient with me.

The reason I have delayed consuming the spice (the extraction has been delayed due to financial stress, I still want to familiarise myself with the process, smell and feel several times beforehand) is that I have one glaring, difficult-to-verbalise question.

All of us here are clearly a very specific kind of person. To decide to join the Nexus and follow the Attitudes, it's not enough to be just open minded, you also have to respect the closed mindedness of others (this is a key point to remember). My one 'fear' related to travelling to hyperspace is that my innate desire to show others my side of things will clash with the new, otherworldly, completely unrelateable experience I will have had.

I find it difficult enough to express how I feel regarding the whole meaning of life, the whole illusion of control, the chaos of everything and I am terrified that this new level of sensation that I must integrate will be so awe-inspiringly gigantic that I won't be able to compromise between my present view and the new one. I have worked very hard to be the person that I am, and it is only through careful routine and forced bravery that I have managed to achieve comfort within myself. Have any previous spice users dealt with similar fears? I hope I've managed to convey my question in a way that is understandable.

There is a flip-side to this fear.
Disillusionment. Has anyone with any, even minor experience, with the spice found it to be somewhat empty? What if I come to realise that this is all an illusion created by a vaporised substance in my brain. Has anyone ever found it to be claustrophobic, finding that instead of leaving their mind and body they have simply stayed within it? I don't mean this in "paranoia weed feeling" sense, but in more of a spiritual way.
I hope I've managed to convey my questions in a way that is understandable.


Sorry if I come across as a naiive little prig, I just have second post jitters haha.

Thank you for reading,

Osleep

Taking your time and doing your homework before diving in: I like that. It's a good attitude to have.



It really is a balancing act. You have to weigh the opportunity for the most incredible (and potentially harrowing) experiences in the human range of possible experiences against a certain restriction in being able to share those experiences with others many of whom will guaranteed not understand what you're going through in the slightest...but then there's always that hope that maybe you can turn someone else on in the brilliant and stunning fashion that you are turned on by it, and maybe they'll spread that love too, and it can be infectious...but so can negativity, so as I said, it's a balancing act, as is all of life.



Part and parcel of entering into the experience in light of understanding profound notions is that you wish to learn and grow as a person. Therefore, whoever you are now becomes slightly irrelevant because the experience becomes about learning and evolving as an individual. If you do not hope to evolve your thoughts, then you should reconsider taking DMT. It can be very scary to subject yourself to profound changes in thought and being, but that is the ego's natural self-defense mechanisms firing off. The DMT experience IME helps to (at least temporarily) weaken those defense mechanisms such that (semi-)irrational fears can be confronted. Change is always most traumatic in the face of highest resistance. A major part of the DMT experience (and like with anything practice makes it easier and easier), "letting go" or surrendering control allow the changes to occur as smoothly and desirably as possible. Through integration, said techniques of letting go and surrendering can be transferred to issues in daily life and consensual reality.



The experience will defy any and all expectations you can build up around it (practically). Sometimes it may be rich with stunning, sacred, significant content, and other times it may present itself as aberrations of the mind. It runs the gamut in its entirety on the kinds of experiences it can facilitate for any given person. There are no guarantees. For this reason it is wise to avoid saying DMT is this or DMT is that because one guarantee is just because it is for you that it likely isn't for someone else, and probably won't even be the same for you on every occasion. DMT can be both one thing and its opposite at the same time. Paradoxical, conflicting emotions and sensations can be perceived simultaneously. It is nothing like what your linear processing mind of daily life is used to in the slightest...or then again some days it just might be

Welcome to the Nexus!


That's the point of the Nexus. Your experiences and interpretations are welcome here and will be appreciated and understood if you share them.


The funny thing about consciousness is that you always feel like yourself, and yet the specific attributes of one's personality are changing constantly. You will always be making the decisions. You will never become anything that you do not want to become. However, there are future versions of you that believe different things. Think of this as being because you don't yet have all the information. You are afraid of change because you think that you know everything and are perfect the way you are now, but the nature of consciousness is constant progression and evolution. The fact that you're so interested in DMT makes me think that you're more open to change than you seem to imply, but change is inevitable, even without psychedelic drugs.
The truth is that DMT is a tricky substance. A breakthrough experience is the most intense "spiritual" experience you could never have imagined followed by the gradual onset of an inability to remember most of what you just experienced. At the end of the day, you will be very impressed and will have new tools with which to change yourself if you choose, but you will undoubtedly be the same person on the other side.


It is of course possible to smoke a little DMT and not get much out of it. On the other hand, it is not hard to smoke enough to experience what I would call the most convincing and mind-blowing experience of your life.

Global and hixidom, thank you very much for your input. You both seem like very well-adjusted, ego-defying individuals. Although I won't say my fears are allayed (I might wake up with a whole different set of fears, loves and understandings tomorrow haha) I will say that your interpretations of my question were spot on and I can't find flaw with your answers at all. It's fantastic to be able to venture a question like that and get such well-intentioned, thought-through answers instead of the raction of an "average joe" (not being elitist, I swear) who would accuse you of thinking too much.

Good karma for you

Osleep

Also, thank you global for touching briefly on another minor concern of mine.

I like to think that I surround myself with like-minded, responsible, tuned-in folks but I was briefly concerned that I might fall in love with spice and force it upon them before they're ready.

I think from reading what you've written, it would be a good idea to just trust myself on this one.