Hello everyone,

If you take the time to read this experience, I thank you now.

I've been away for some time.

Such is life that following find my path to this forum, after returning from South America, I've not been quite in the right place to follow up on my explorations of mind.

The unexpected end of a girl, both lover and friend, existing on our plane has left me unable to find balance.

Following her tragic departure my health has faltered - inexplicable high blood pressure, vision deterioration, adrenal imbalance and intermittent palpitations.

Yes, it seems quite reasonable that the first event has some causal effect on the prolonged illness of several months.

Now the bright side - I appear to be getting better. A little bit of mind of matter, perhaps? All I know is that all of a sudden my symptoms have diminished, expect my vision which is taking its time to get better.

Finally, onto the topic of this thread - dreams.

Last night I had a dream within a dream. This is not overly unusual for me, but still grabs my attention when waking out of the second dream.

In the deeper dream I was in another world, instictivly I was aware this was the place people refer to as heaven. The point upon which I arrived was a great expanse with no floor, walls or ceiling. The space that would have been occupied by such human ideas was simply white, or a white glow - entirely background, something you wouldn't pay much attention to.

The interesting part was what occupied this place, which was people filling this space that was vast, immense, impossible, stretching out for as far as I could see. Wow, truly mind blowing now but in my more ethereal form quite comprehendable. People were strolling around talking to each other. Groups were chatting away, others were wandering around seemingly aimlessly looking to strike up a hearty conversation. The weird thing was I wasn't drowning in noise, the reality was quite serene and quiet.

I am unsure if he found me or if I was inexplicably drawn to him but I found myself in conversation with my Granddad who passed away many years ago, maybe around 13-14 years ago. We caught up on life, I think the message was about letting go. The feeling was deeper than that, maybe acceptance of life and death. Now it is hard to construct words to illustrate the conversation. I am not even sure if words were used.

One thing was to be sure, not everyone was 'good' in the religious sense. The inhabitants of this infinity were not only those who had adhered to a code. I have the feeling EVERYONE was there in some form or other.

After bidding farewell to Ernest I am finding myself on a journey to some semblance of a restaurant, in what I can only describe as a log built chalet/lodge. This part was quite choppy and difficult for me to function in, as if I was not supposed to be there. Somehow I leave with or following a women whom I now, upon recollection, have attached slight feelings of dread, dislike or distrust.

We reach an encampment. There should be an open fire in the middle, there are people sat around in a circle on chairs. I think everyone was a women. The details are more hazy, broken almost. I am not supposed to be here. I reach out to touch one of the women, in a handshake where instead of taking each others hand, we hold each others forearms. The gesture is an exchange of sorts. I feel some kind of release at the time but now recalling the act I feel something different in my chest. I cannot be sure what this feeling is, again perhaps it is dread of what happens next.

There is something to show me. Something I am not ready for but I insist. They are right, I am not prepared to meet it in such a way. I am scared of what I am shown, even terrified. Yet, I am striken with a sickening taste of how I am shown.

A table, at around 45 degree angle is brought forth. The table is both chair and table at the same time. I expect I am currently incapable of understanding, and such seeing, how it really is. So the table is both a white sheet covered operating table and a comfortable chesterfield-esque arm chair simultaneously. Maybe the armchair is what I am intended to see but the table is the truth. I cannot be sure or judge.

Then there is the creature. Upon the table, strapped down as if operated upon under restraints, is a being. It's head is most similar to an Elephant's. The body, while still clothed in an elephants skin, is smaller and more humanoid. It is dead, dying or detained an unable to move. I am shocked and confused. I am clearly not ready for this and find myself waking up into dream 2.

From here dream 2 is more 'standard' as a dream, I cannot recall to many details.

So, from this I had one major overwhelming great feeling - not exactly 'letting go' of my lost friend, but a soul resounding awareness and connection with the afterwards. I've been completely locked out of my spiritual side and connections in times of late.

But, what about the deeper part - going where I was not ready for. Is there ignorance and bliss in the realm I traveled to - and consequentially people who are willing to push that bit further, whatever the cost?

ANY insight would be appreciated.

Thanks again for your time & enjoy yourself lovelies.

The thing about dreams is that when mastered, they become a powerful tool. Just like the DMT, but much more private. You can chose whether to believe them or not, but only your subconscious knows whats real and whats an illusion made by it. Every dream can be as symbolic as you interpret it, but don't let yourself be caught in wrong interpretations.
Lets say that dreams are the way your subconscious talks to you. If you find something meaningful there, maybe it is, but as I said, be careful how you interpret it.
Practicing lucid dreaming is the way to master the dreams. Once you are able to lucid dream and you are aware of it while dreaming, you can directly summon your subconscious and ask it what does it want to tell you... its that simple
Also, there is this possibility for real people/entities to enter your dreams, so being lucid there asking the right questions can really show you who is who.

As for the realm you traveled to, ignorance and bliss will exist only if you allow them to exist in you. As long as you keep ignoring something, you will find your world more blissful.

Is it possible this creature could be a representation of yourself? The way you feel restrained/ trapped and any other feeling you have caused by the end of this women.

As for the dream within the dream, it's possible that to get to these realms/ other realities that you traveled to that we, as finite being need some sort of help/ nudge, be it psychedelics or dreams.

It all sound very interesting and I thank you for your sharing of this experience.

This is very, very possible situation. Mostly the characters you encounter in your dreams are aspects of yourself.