now this is gonna be quite uncensored so if the moderators and others feel not right , please delete the thread , please don't throw me out of the nexus

yes so now what can we say about relationships , ya well no one needs to crack jokes on relationships these days , since relationships are already a joke these days

relationships are like a invasive weed that takes over your garden and wont leave , no matter how hard you try uprooting the weed , trimming it , it always grows back ,

i'll describe my last relationship , from what i can remember of it is just too little since it was quite a traumatic experience , i guess ptsd has erased much of my memory of what really happened , yet i remember the break-up since i guess that is the good part of a relationship these days ...... i remember hearing a loud thud in the middle of the night , i open my eyes to find my girlfriend on the ground having fallen off the bed , i look at her and she starts shouting about me kicking her off the bed , she dressses up and leaves immediately telling me she is no longer willing to be with someone who will kick her off the bed while she's asleep , devasted and heartbroken i turn to the right side of my bed to my other girlfriend who is fast asleep , being on the right side she was safe from my kicking around , well i kinda play soccer in my dreams

well sexuality what can i say about it , its just so sexual , yes sexuality has now become much more than just simple sex , you have got choice and options these days , there is bi-sexuality , homosexuality , bestality and a whole range of other stuff that kids are coming up with these days , what i have learnt over time is men have a real need to stick there thing into something , be it a woman , man , animal , tree , food or the more choices we'll have in the future , ya american pie brought foodsex right out into the open , there are a few out there who are vego-sexual , its time to come out of the closet and marry your pizza

recently i saw this advertisement on TV where a women's organisation is asking us to step forward a be helping and kind
my questions what kind of help are these women looking for ? and exactly how many steps forward so i can be helping and kind
women , yes women , well i love women , i am always ready to help a women in need , with whatever she needs ,

now seeing this advertisement gave me a few ideas like putting up my own advertisement out there , if any women out there needs help , call me immediately , my phone number is ********** , step forward be helping and kind

well now what can i say about men , because no matter what i say it not gonna change them ! we all know men are f***** up and nothing i say is ever gonna help that , honestly i can say men are like me totally useless

also recently due to me being single all of my friends have started praying with folded hands to the lord God that i fall in love with a girl who can teach me a good lesson so i'll stop coming up with these nonsensical jokes

before going i have a question to ask ? is anyone signing me up for a billion dollar contract ?

thank you folks , i hope i was a bit humorous otherwise we all need to get more drunk !