Yesterday I experienced more fear than I have ever felt in my entire life. It felt like there was no escape like I was slowly sinking into quick sand. The more I thought about it and researched it the more I sank. At about one o clock I woke up as calm as I had ever been. That's when the fear came back like slithering snake. As usual I reacted in an extremely negative way. It got so bad that my heart started beating so strongly that I think my mother who was sleeping next to me woke up and asked me if I was nervous but I didn't respond at all. After about two hours of falling half asleep in fear I woke up and realized that there's no point in fighting something that will happen regardless of my effort to try to stop it . Although that made me feel better I still felt like I wasn't home hell it felt like I was nowhere near home. I felt like I was somewhere I had never been before and that scared me. At that very moment I decided to accept my fate and began to meditate or at least it felt that way. I felt so trapped that I decided to use my imagination to relieve my fear. Surprisingly it helped. I imagined my self in japan as a ninja ambushing a couple of guards after a while of this I began to see my self sitting on the floor from a third person perspective. I was in a dark room just sitting there. At that moment I the fear seemed to be slipping away regardless of my fate. That's when I began to repeatedly say to myself there's no such thing as fear over and over again. I had returned home.
The reason I felt I had to share this here is because some people have experienced seeing themselves in third person as I did. Today although I still feel that fate will lead to harsher times for me but I still know that I can overcome this thanks to whatever this experience was maybe it was dmt or maybe it was me.
Tell me what you guys think.
