are we seeking out there to find what is within us?
to experience other dimesions and a way of life to actually justify our own existence.
searching for new experiences that may mend or help you in this reality.
what is your quest,what are you seeking,how long have you been looking?
have you found what you are looking for.
why are you seeking new experiences?
are you running?are you being creative.
does this reality not agree with your inner soul?
are you happy?

i'm just looking for the sheer hell of it.

I'll let you know when I find it.

I am sure we all have our own various reasons for the search. For me it was the burning curiosity of the possibility that there is more than an objective reality and something that makes more sense than the dogmatic wacky canon of Christianity.

I had to start looking within and I needed some help to crack through my skeptical mind that was in a spiritual funk.

For me personally I have been a seeker all my life. I was sick and tired of hearing and reading 2nd hand accounts of spiritual experiences, OBE's, NDE's, Paranormal, UFO's...etc. I wanted to have my own experiences so I can be the judge of what the hell is going on for myself.

To that end DMT has provided me with experiences my skeptical artistic mind could not have even imagined.

Now I am happy to know that many things are possible and if what I am starting to lean towards is the truth than it makes sense to me and if its not I will be dead and there will nothing so it won't matter anyway.

why would you NOT?!?!?

Wow.. I like this. I can't actually say what, or why.. But, I like this.




This one resonates with me, the most. I'm not really sure why.. at all. I'm not sure if it's the actual, reality, that I'm not agreeing with, or.. the surrounding situations I have to deal with.

Lately, and this has pretty much nothing to do with psychedelics at all, but, I find it really hard to connect with another person. It's not like I'm awkward or anything.. I have a good amount of, friends, but.. not many of them I can truely see eye to eye with, on most things. Maybe, one thing here, or there, but.. for the vast majority of things, everyone else seems to differ.

Or, maybe it's me who differs?

This place, that I live in. It's just not for me. I've always felt like I was born, not at the wrong time, but.. at a much harder time than I should have. Not even like, "I should have".. it's more, I just feel out of place.

My views on the world, are so different, from even my immediate families, that, it just makes one wonder. How? How, did I come to such conclusions about this place we live in, with all the external stimuli that I had? Meaning, normally, people who go through generally the same set of circumstances I did, don't usually turn out like this.

I feel.. so out of place sometimes. But, when I really get into myself, considering everything, and just, thinking, the things I can come up with, the things... I believe in, make me just, the happiest person.

It's so hard to even make sense of it.. when I really get in deep. I guess, it's just so hard, to.. make sense of myself.

Why am I so happy? Why am I so depressed? Why can I be so happy without anybody around? But at almost the same instant, be so crushed, by the same fact?

It's not like I'm all alone around here. There's thousands of people in this town. But.. when it truely comes down to it, I'm not like these others. No god complex or anything like that. Seriously. But, I'm just not like these guys.

You want to know what one of the greatest joys I can have is? Bringing that realization to somebody else. That point, when that person is trying, with all their might, to explain something to you, or get their feelings out to you, but they seem to be having a hard time doing so. They.. can't fully express themselves the way they want to. I can see that. I can see what they're trying to do, and what they want to do. And, what they are doing. And then I can explain that to them, and make them understand themselves, just a little bit more. They can get things out, so much easier now, because they've figgured it out. They get it now. Even, just that little thing. Being able to express yourself better. Or, even, just having someone else get what you're trying to say.

I can understand everybody. I know what you mean, when you say this, or that. I know what mean, when you're not saying anything at all. I can see, right through, most people.

And.. maybe, that's why I feel as though I don't belong here. In, this exact place. Maybe even this time, this reality. I'm not sure. I'm not even sure it actually goes that deep. It may though.

I guess.. really, it's just, nobody can see through me. Nobody can even read me. I'll spell the words out for you, right here. But, they still can't read it.

I guess.. I'm just lonely. I have friends.( a few) I have family. But.. they don't really know me. I try. I try every chance I get. To show them who I really am. Sometimes it seems as though it's to hard for them to understand it, or, grasp it. Sometimes, it seems like they just don't want to try.



Wow.. I'm.. really opening up to this community. When people usually get a speech like that, I'm either completly drunk as a skunk, or, I trust them immensly. And, the second one 9 times out of 10 comes back to bite me in the ass.
And.. I know I'm not drunk now. So.. I guess I must trust you guys a little bit.


I wonder if this was what you were trying to get at, still seeking. I'd love to answer some of those other questions a little more fuller, But, I might have actually done that already.. with all those words up there.

Thanks alot. This made me feel.. real good. Really good.


And.. stands out to me, alot too. But.. I truthfully, don't think I can answer that.

I am simply looking for experience.
To experience something for myself is the only way to know.
You can read a thousand books, but one experience lasting 1 minute can be worth more than all that. Repeating someone elses wise words takes no true knowledge.
Besides, I think we are all here to learn and the only way for true learning is experience.

You asked some really good questions there.

I'll try and answer them all.

1. I think so, we are traveling and exploring the farthest reaches in order to find our own purpose and truth.

2. My quest is too humble myself to natural harmonics and rhythms. I am seeking culture, music, art, emotion, awareness and purpose. Have been looking FOREVER.

3. Yes, I have found the Diamond, in the process of admiring the facets...

4. In order to have a more objective view of life, better sense of humour, and to help others who travel and explore.

5. Not running, not being as creative as I know I can be.

6. This reality very much agrees with my inner soul, for it is why I am here .

7. I am content with knowing that emotions can shift, from love to fear and everything in between. I am happy that you posted these questions still seeking!!!

I really don't know but my focus lately has been:

To help me see my life in a new light

To get back to my essence as a being.

I just wanted to chime in and say that you aren't the only one brother. Many people, from all walks of life, feel this way. I personally think it has to do with creating your own path. Some people may seem content in their role (and I'm sure some genuinely are), but I've seen enough doubtful preachers and remorseful addicts to know that this affects almost everyone. I think it is just human nature to be driven to forge new paths, to always question, to look beyond the now. Don't take this as a bad thing. Sometimes it may make you anxious but embrace it, carve your own way and enjoy the ride. You'll find others with similar views, I'm sure of it. But also don't hold it against those who see things differently. Trust in yourself, and in others.

I'm looking for a coldfinger condenser (insert, not the housing) for my rotary evaporator. the friedrich condenser works ok, but it's a bit cumbersome to use.
I'm also looking for a reasonably priced mass spec w/ software.

I'll probably look more intently next year.

thanks guys n gals for the replies,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKppSQospqI

i suppose our quest is to search,for if we had all the answers how bored would we get!

I have allowed this very question to simmer in my mind my whole life.

I am on a never-ending search for more. In my life over the years I have already had my perceptions and understanding of the world completely flipped on it's head. I know (or at least deeply believe) there is something else to be examined whether within myself, outside myself or both simultaneously. I am now looking for the additional layers that DMT and other psychedelic tools can possibly translate.