So, the last 7 days of my life, I would like to share with you all, they've been rather intense and rather life changing.

Wednesday the 10th of October, get up, go to psychologist to finally have a "definitive" result on what they call my "mental health", it's been an incredibly frustrating and confusing 10 years prior to this.

I'm told I have Aspergers/Attention Deficit Disorder which was something I was already expecting to come of the meeting, 6 months prior to this I met a whole bunch of people who are already on the spectrum, they all turned out to be huge psy heads and have gradually dragged me into the underground festival scene in the UK over the summer, incredibly fun.

All this aside finally getting a diagnosis was one of the happiest moments in my life so far, it means the NHS now have to leave me alone and as do most services provided in the UK that are paid to annoy people.

Several hours later my mother comes into the house with tears in her eyes, announcing my late Grandads death, a huge shock to the entire family, I drive her down to his house to meet up with other family and then proceed to have a rather confusing couple of hours... one hour of which involved a lot of crying and hugs, then another hour of laughter and remenisence of life then another hour talking to a police officer about his opinions on the political system and drugs in general (absolutely mindblowingly funny and mind opening conversation)

I woke up the next day in quite a state, my mental capacity for patience was running quite thin so I decided to head through to a friends and get some much needed marijuana.

Arriving home, I hit up a few bowls and for whatever reason, I can't explain it. I just NEEDED to meditate, it was like I was being pulled into a meditative state, I've never experience this on such a scale before, incredibly profound.

The second I got comfortable in a chair, my eyes locked into a shut state and I felt my non physical self literally start to vibrate, nothingness is quite a word.... it was like I needed it and the universe provided it, my head was at the point of blowing up and having a mental break down (which usually occurs in these situations) but instead it just took me away and let me clear my own head..

I've never got much out of meditation so far, I've found it quite frustrating but this.. was so profound, I felt like I was having the beginnings of a DMT or LSD trip, my whole being just one with everything, nothing else mattered, my whole headspace clear to deal with whatever thoughts I needed to deal with.. words just can't give it justice, absolute beauty and the pureness of the energy flowing through my very being.

The next day I woke up, did some yoga and then hit a huge bowl, same result, like I was being dragged into the meditation state and being made to stay there, this time it got a hell of a lot more intense, slight visuals, seeing mantras and patterns, like I was slowly building up travelling through a vortex, incredibly vibrations and sounds...

These experiences and the last week or so has been one of the most profound and unexplainable weeks of my life so far... I'll be damned if it didn't just feel like the universe giving me some much much needed love.

Much love to the nexus and thank you for being here.

Sounds like one hectic week man!

It's great you met those fellow psy-heads, the UK has an amazing festival scene if you know where to look! I don't know much about Aspergers... any idea what may link psy-culture to it?

Very sorry to hear about your loss though, I've been lucky enough to never experience the death of a close relative or friend so I can't imagine what it's like, but it's good you got some positives from it - it sounds like it brought the family together.

I'm really interested by what you say about meditation; I've never had any brilliant successes with it either (although I do find it incredibly relaxing). Cannabis seems to inhibit my ability to focus my thoughts and quite often sets my heart pounding which is incredibly distracting... I'm glad it gave you such an incredible experience though! Perhaps I should give the a combo another chance.

Sometimes the Universe can be lovely like that - if you show your surroundings and those who you meet love and kindness it is often reciprocated, it's good to be reminded.

Anyways, much love, and I hope the good things keep coming!

Peace

I'm thinking I might write a long winded thread on aspergers and autism, I don't think it's just the psy heads linked to it really... I think every intelligent or creative person on this planet is apergers 0.o but that's deffo for a dedicated thread with all evidence packed in, it's not something everyone wants to hear really and it's incredibly misconcieved and misunderstood on so many accounts

I have a hard time meditating sober really and cannabis tends to slow my head riiiiight down, (something the guy linked to the ADD could explain that) but it just felt like I was being welcomed into it, a lot like DMT.. like I was being invited or welcomed to that place to learn or just be.. and I really do think it helped with the way I've dealt with this whole scenario hugely, I still feel so intensely at peace right now

You reminded me of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYjkxotJL9A lol. Cant say that is my view on how to do it but to each their own.

Also don't take this the wrong way but in my opinion its best not to take any substance if you feel like you HAVE to have it. Alcohol, drugs, whatever. Self medicating can lead to more harm than help in the long term and avoidance of the underlying problem(s). Not saying this specifically to this instance just in general. Your life though to live how you see fit, just thought I would chuck that out there as odd a place as it is to say that considering the forum that we are on lol.

Glad you are holding up with the bad news and whatever you were diagnosed with. Just don't give up and rely on their meds etc only. Constant willpower and effort on your own part helps just as much, the power of the mind and all that. It seems that life has good timing in giving you this bonus for a change.

[quote=Mystic0]I think every intelligent or creative person on this planet is apergers 0.o[/quote

I remember when I was studying Physics, it came up that many famous scientists and mathematicians were likely to have had aspergers. And the link between art and mental 'disorders' (if you can call them that) is quite well established...

I also know a guy with ADD who finds smoking cannabis (generally the more mellow strains) to be very relaxing and calming - however hydroponic 'skunk' strains seem to cause agitation.

Beautiful man. Savor it! IME meditation sessions that eye-opening come in spurts. . . other times it's just staring at the wall.

You ever get the sensation of being pulled forward, or of a strong pressure on your face/forehead during these experiences? For me, that's common to psychs and to meditation (which overlap sometimes!), and it's usually the precursor to something very interesting. It's like the space directly in front of my face opens up and my whole sense of awareness shifts foreward. . . and often there's weird buzzing, electrical sounds too.

Cheers!

I've always refused to take meds to treat what society views as an "illness" you know? I've never thought there was anything wrong with me really, I have lot's of friends, go out on regular basis and I'm willing to work, just not in the same insane ethics most of soceity follows, so I guess they treat that as different or wrong? that's just me anyway

You're entirely right though, it's all mind over matter and control of oneself is complete mastery of matter I think

From my own knowledge and a close friend of mines seriously vast knowledge on the subject 0.o (he makes my head hurt with how much he know's about the brain and drugs). Indica strains contain more active CBD content with less active THC content so they have a calming effect on the mind and body.

Sativa strains have a much higher psychoactive THC content and thus increase the mental processes in the brain causing you to think a hell of a lot faster and make it much more difficult to clear your thoughts.

This exact same thing applies to my own mind, Indica brings me right down, sativa just blasts me through the ceiling and results in me caving through books/information anything stimilating in general in a rather stupid manner.. xD

YUP!!! EXACTLY THAT Felt like my entire forehead was about to burst open (in a good way!) felt incredible, like my whole being was vibrating and wanting to leave my current body, amazing feeling.