So, After my first breakthrough experience, I have been very nervous to take a breakthrough dose. I didnt have a bad trip by any means. It was very fleeting and I dont remember a lot of details about it. But I do remember that I was terrified and that it took me by surprise.
I decided this time I want to load up a canister of nitrous and take a lung full and let most of the effects wear off before taking the first inhale of spice. I've been a nitrous fiend for a little while now, and the first canister always just relaxes my whole body, puts me at complete ease and opens my mind without effecting my motor skills too much, and I have heard that there can be good harmony between the two. My intentions are not to use the nitrous as a boost to the dmt trip, only to use it to relax first and ease some of the inhibitions I have to break through.
So, I ordered some canisters, and they were set to come on friday. A perfect opportunity to give it a try... Then I got the bad news. My sister had shot herself early friday morning. Devastated, my journey was the last thing on my mind this weekend. Now I sit here tonight, almost feeling called to try. Feeling like maybe I could learn something to help find peace... on the other hand, Maybe this kind of stress is the absolutely worst time to experiment. What do you guys think? Could there be a benefit to answering that call? Or is the possibility of a bad experience high enough that I should wait a while?

First off, I'm extremely sorry for your loss. But, set and setting always weighed heavily in my mind, and this is only my opinion; but facing demons CAN be beneficial, though extremely fragile. If you "feel a call" there could be a purpose to that. But you're the one who needs to decide if your goal is to escape, or understand what youre truely going thru.

Sorry for what happened to your sister...

I think it's big russian roulette there, the experience might give you energy and support to live through the difficult life experiences, but it might also mean a seriously negative experience due to the bad state of mind (or it might be just a normal experience), you never know.

Personally I'd wait a while, I think it's advisable not to take psychedelics in fragile states of mind. Spice wont dissapear, you can always go back, and I think it's a more stable victory if you are able to deal with the pain in your normal state of mind and later come back to psychedelics when you feel alright again.

I'm terribly sorry for you loss.

I am with the others here, facing demons might be beneficial but could also do the exact opposite. I'd personally would advice you to wait a while and when you feel you are ready to journey, perhaps have a friend present as support after your journey.

Stay strong.

I'm really sorry to hear about your sister. I can't imagine how you must feel right now. Like the others, I can see pros and cons for either decision here and sadly don't have a lot to add. As others have said, spice will be there whenever you decide the time is right. You may want to take some time to experience what you are feeling in a regular state, and alter things at a later time. But if after examining things you feel like you are truly being called, it might be the best thing... just be careful when deciding as it is easy to be confused during such times. I hope the best for you regardless of what decision you make. If you ever want to talk about anything, feel free to PM me. I'm guessing you have better support than I do in real life, but I can't just assume so.

it is my opinion that when pondering the best times to take a medicine, the times you most need healing are the best (but nowhere near easiest) option.