I believe I am currently experiencing a spiritual crisis, as described in TiHKAL (or was it PiHKAL?)

I was watching a film at a cinema in the city center together with my boyfriend when suddenly everything changed drastically. At first, I thought it was a panic attack, and I needed to ask him for help in order to return home. Tears were flowing down my face.

When we got home the panic subsided, but the confusion persisted, and it is still there. The experience is of an ineffable quality, and reminds me of previous psychedelic experiences. For instance, although I am able to perform vital activities like eating and going to the toilet, I am probably not able to do mathematics (which is what I study), and I would definitely not be comfortable driving a car if I had one.

At the core of the experience is a deep feeling of laboured confusion, as if a truck has dumped a tonne of spiritual material upon me for me to sort out. I am not experiencing fear to a significant extent.

If any of you have experienced this kind of thing before and have any advice I would really appreciate your help here. Especially any practical advice in order to help this experience pass as comfortably as possible, would be much appreciated. For instance it'd be nice to know if taking substances like MDMA can be at all helpful, or if there's anything else you'd do in such a situation.

Thank you for reading this post.

In gratitude,

//K

Maybe you just had a strong emotional response to the movie. A lot of films just like psychedelics can dig up some suppressed subconscious memories. The confusion after makes sense b/c you have no idea why you reacted, and you're anxiously trying to figure out why to the point of psychosis like you're under the influence of a psychedelic.

I think MDMA would be perfect to help you process and figure out what's going on. Maybe even watch the same film again to see if there really is correlation.

If not, then it really could have been just a small panic attack. If it was your first one then it makes sense to be completely confused after it.

Of course getting healthy, like improving diet and excercise is important and can make a tremendous difference in everyday life.

I would be unfair of me or anyone to giver you a straight answer without further information. My instincts tell me you may be experiencing some form of delayed response to an event you bottled up. But how can I know that right? I'm just some random guy on the internet. First and foremost I would not turn to drugs to straighten things out.

Either figure out what the problem actually is and deal with it, or wait till it goes away and count it as just another blip on the map, one of life's strange little glitches.

Funny you mention MDMA though, what with its growing popularity (if you can call it that) recently as a possible treatment for PTSD, which is what this sounds like. But I can't know for sure. I'll mention that I myself have experience with delayed trauma, which is why I would hazard this guess. I can also relate to the ineffable weird feeling, bittersweet almost incapacitating, I had an experience with this recently too, not entirely sure why it happened to me either.

Do let us know how you fare, good luck and good spirits <3

I will have to disagree with the other posters, and say you should stay away from any mind altering drugs for the time being. Feeling confused, lacking in motor skills and critical thinking abilities could all be signs of a legitimate medical problem. It is also possible as others have said that the movie just brought something up that has been troubling you subconsciously. Either way, until you know more about what is going on, I would stay away from drugs. Meditate, exercise, and eat healthy. Give it a few weeks and see how you feel.

Hi there Kensho,

Sorry you are having a difficult time currently sister. I had a concurrant spiritual/mid-life crisis as I entered into the fourth decade of my life.

I'm not 100% clear on the nature of your crisis - though I do get that you are suffering from panic attacks and that is no fun at all.

We are not permitted to give medical advice here, but speaking for myself, drugs usually aren't the answer when I'm in the middle of a crisis.

Do you meditate? I would encourage you to look into that . . . can you take a day or two off? . . maybe go to someplace nice, someplace drenched in nature? Find a quiet, calm place within the self . . .

If you feel like sharing more information, that might be helpful.

Also, I want to say, there's absolutely nothing wrong with reaching out for help, be that medical, counseling, spiritual counseling, whatever. It's not an indication of weakness, rather I believe of bravery and strength, as you are actively reaching for growth in those situations.

I certainly wish you nothing but the best in your journey. Of course there will be a few bumps in the road along the way . .

I would echo this advise. Mind altering substance could mask a serious medical problem. Give your system a break from all substances, get some sleep, eat some red and blue colored fruits (antioxidents), and drink lots of water (flush your system). And try to relax... If your symptoms don't clear up in a few days (confusion, lack of motor skills) definately see a medical professional.

There is plenty of time to explore whatever substances you want...later...just take care of yourself first! Keep us posted!

My first question would be: during or after the event, have you had any major realizations, shocking revelations, sea changes to your worldview?

That does happen every now and then... Maybe once or twice in your lifetime if you're lucky. With a mental/emotional/spiritual event like you describe, the inner changes are profound and may cause a temporary external shutdown as you process your new perspective. It could have been triggered by a scene in the movie but would have likely been an ongoing mental journey leading up to that point.

If nothing of the sort has accompanied this experience, Then it could indeed have a medical component. Get rest, eat right, take a little time off and if it doesn't pass, you may want to consider seeking help.

Medical advice might help :/ Perhaps a clinical angle might assist you but don't let anyone put you in a box or define you. We don't live in a shamanistic culture.

hmmph wont let me edit last paragraph:
Lay low dont do anything which will stress you out. Enjoy comfort and simple things and taking a break.

The change to my world view is what is at the core of the experience. I am afraid I haven't expressed myself clearly enough to let you know what is going on.

First and foremost, I know and see very clearly that this is not a medical problem. The panic I felt is only secondary to the experience. As I said, it did pass once I got away from the city centre. Having my world view drastically shift whilst there were so many people around was just a bit overwhelming.

I am definitely not experiencing PTSD. I am not even experiencing fear at the moment. It is a crisis of a more spiritual nature. It feels like I am wrestling with god. I can definitely feel that it is a temporary state and that it will pass. I know it came because it had to come, too.

The situation does not hamper my ability to think clearly to the extent that it is difficult to take care of myself. Going out to buy food or to talk to my doctor would be uncomfortable, but not impossible. But as I am experiencing a overload of concepts and new takes on aspects of my life I would not trust myself to drive a car in such a state. There would just have been too much input all at once to process.

I can feel myself growing from this, and I know it will all be worthwhile. Please do not worry, people.

Sounds like an 'Awakening' of sorts...

I'm wondering if the ramping up to the 2012 (CT?) is affecting a lot of conciousness throughout the world...?

Meditate and maybe get some of those thoughts down on paper...

We're all with you Kensho

i would not be surprised to see you update this in the near future about severe harm coming to someone you share a close bond with. We are all connected to people we come in contact with, (no psuedoscience, peer reviewed scholar articles legit.) at the subatomic level, ie: quantum entaglement. i imagine the closer you are with someone the more entangled you become.



stolen from http://simple.wikipedia....iki/Quantum_entanglement

"Explanation

Sometimes, two particles will act together and become an entangled system. They behave like one object, but remain two separate objects. It is as if they now sit on the same teeter-totter seesaw. No matter how long the seesaw is, even if it is a billion miles long, if one end is down the other end must be up, and this happens instantly. This happens faster than light can travel from one particle to the other."

I have studied a fair bit of physics and have a (quite shallow) understanding of quantum entanglement, and I can't really understand why the process of entanglement would make you come to that conclusion.

I am having difficulties not calling your use of peer reviewed science to support esoteric claims dubious. Do you want to scare people?

I didn't come here asking for prophecies but you are by all means entitled to your opinion.


...apparently this "process" or whatever it is hasn't affected my ability to feel anger. Please excuse me. I love you.

I would suggest going outside and walking barefoot through the woods/natural area, soak up some sunlight, and drink some good water You sound like you are handling it correctly, good music can also help, as well as a small amount of Cannabis if you feel any physical discomforts.

Follow your intuition on it, and if you need 2 send some of the load over this way Bless

I love how everyone who warned not to take MDMA are quick to diagnose her with a medical problem. Kind of ironic. Even MDMA is helpful with panic attack disorders. Going to a doctor so that you get on a pharma drug cycle of dependance does not seem wise compared to MDMA. It's not like she'd be going into a strong psychedelic experience just simply bringing up some feeling/emotions to help her map out what exactly happened.




Quantum physics is a pseudoscience...

Bumping this thread for my friend to see if anyone else got some wise words.


Quantum physics is proper science. In fact, it makes some of the most impressive predictions in all of science, and much of modern technology utilizes quantum mechanics to the extent that we would not have said technology without it.

Ya, it's a proper science, but quantum mysticism is NOT which is exactly what he was doing. I'm sorry I wasn't specific. He said quantum entanglement can be related to our personal relationships.

Ah, understood. Then we agree perfectly

Sorry for the little derail, Kensho.

Kensho, your "spiritual crisis" sounds very, very similar to how I would have described an experience I went through last summer. Mine took place a month after an LSD experience which changed me profoundly (everything from simple bodily awareness to the way I related to other people). It can be a real shock when one's worldview is uprooted, often words don't do it justice.

If I was going to go back and give advice to myself back then I would say, first and foremost, there's nothing to do about it. By that I mean, like most things in life, by the time you're aware of it, it's already over, the changes will keep coming. You can relax. If your body has trouble becoming relaxed, then relax into not being relaxed.

Paradoxically, there is also something to do. Chop wood, carry water. It took me about two months to work through my difficult "awakening" or "crisis," and I would say what helped the most was not taking myself seriously and doing everyday things, things I did before the event, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. (Taking out the garbage while viscerally sensing yourself and everything around you to be "God" is a pretty funny experience. )

That said, I don't know. All I'm doing is reading your post and interpreting it based on my life experience up 'till now. I have no idea what it's like to be you. Hell, I'm still figuring out how best to take care of myself.

Anyway, nothing lasts, all things pass.

Peace.