So I'll just apologize ahead of time of posting this in the new area of a dmt board, but I don't have access to the mushrooms forum yet.
So last night I managed to get off work early and got in touch with my buddy about doing some mushrooms. I'd done them a few times before, most recently two weeks ago, and was eager to try them again. I'd never had a bad experience. I'm working my way up to DMT and wanted a bit more experience with that state of mind before getting in tot he big one.
So we picked it up, I'd asked for a bit more then last time since I wanted something a bit more visual, and I wasn't disappointed. Ate them, had a shower, sat down a watched a movie with my buddy. About an hour in I can see the visuals come on a little bit. Within 20 minutes of coming on, I couldn't pay attention to the tv anymore. I looked across the street to the park. Its filled with Cedars and the wind was moving the branches around. I'd never had full on image changes before, but holy shit. I couldn't believe the detail of the visuals. The branches took on the appearance of green fractal like arms, they phased in and out a little at the edges as they swayed giving the impression of it being almost holographic. It was just jaw dropping. I looked around my room and could see rows of tiny color changing swirls filling the air around me. I closed my eyes and realized I could still see then, but clearer. So they were definitely being projected out of my head on to the room around me.
This went on for a while, I guess the movie ended and I started playing with ableton, just making little drum beats while I watch the trees.
Everything was great. I felt great, euphoric even, sort of like being on a bit of e.
The nausea came on slowly in little waves. I didn't worry about it. I'd felt a little ill before on shrooms. No big deal. Then the waves got stronger and I figured I'd just go to the bathroom for a minute incase I got a bit ill. Wasn't too worried.
Ok, I'll spare the details. But two hours later I crawled out of the bathtub after having being the sickest I had been in my life. I could barely walk and the only thing that made anything bearable was to fill the bath with warm water, curl up in a fetal position and just wait for it to end.
But here's where it gets weird.
When I was getting sick I felt like I had taken a step back in my thoughts. As if I'd retreated inside myself. The thoughts that it was just a right of passage kept coming in to my head. Then the thought that the mushrooms were just pushing everything awful out of it. All the stress, trouble with divorce etc... just pushing it out. I remember thinking as the sickness wore on that "Ive given everything I have... what the hell else could it want?"
At one point in the bath I had more thoughts. That the mushrooms were just showing me how little I mattered in the scheme of things. I'm not sure if it was ego death, since I hadn't experienced it before... but I felt beat down to nothing. And still it came.
Then it just ended, the sore stomach didn't go away right away, but my thoughts just cleared up, it was like the stage lights coming on and being thrown back in to reality.
I showered once more since I felt the bath water was just dirty, that it had become infected by whatever it was the mushrooms didn't want inside me. I had no energy left and felt completely drained like I'd just run a few miles without eating all day. All I could do was walk to the living room, apologize to my friend for being gone so long, said "Ive got nothing left" and went to bed.
I woke up this morning feeling reborn. Dont get me wrong, it sucked, I really dont want to go through that again so I dont think I'll touch shrooms again. But my soul felt clean. I'm not religious, but something was different. My mind didn't have that tinge of stress anymore.
Anyways, that was my night. I'm not sure if I'd had too many mushrooms, had an accidently collected poisonous cap, or just had one of those nights. But I felt the need to share it..
Quick note, at no time did I freak out. Even when I was sick I had the strongest feeling that it was what I needed. That everything was ok.