Greetings, everyone

I’ve come across this website many times over my years of intensive internet research, and only recently has the need for such an invaluable resource necessitated itself. This post will be in-depth and verbose, I hope that’s okay - it's comforting that new members are encouraged to write an "essay," haha, as this will certainly fit such a definition. At the very least, you’ll get an understanding of who I am in regards to my history with and relationship to not just spice, but mind-altering substances in general.

I've bolded the most pertinant of info in case one doesn't want to read my entire post, they can read just the highlights.

I first learned about the spice years ago – before I’d had any mind-altering voyages of my own, before I’d ever even considered it being something I could ever even want to do. To this day, I trip (fungi) very sparingly – I don’t seek it out, but it has sought me each time I’ve journeyed. My interests with spice have been mostly theoretical up until recently, simply because there was something inside that told me to hold back, even though I’ve come across it before.

I suppose it was a fear of the sacred molecule, a fear that I consider quite healthy, - because to me, as crippling as fear can be in terms of particular behaviors and situations, sometimes it serves as a “stop sign” to indicate that caution going forward is required. This caution of mine extends to all psychoactive, mind-altering substances – I have a great deal of respect and awe for what they are and what they can do, even the more benign sources such as cannabis.

I remember reading Strassman’s book years ago and being just utterly fascinated. Honestly, my autodidactism was initially sparked by discovering the existence of this intriguing substance, and the potential threads it may have to consciousness, not just in a human sense but for biological entities in general (the book “The Secret Lives of Plants” also blew my mind, and furthered my fascination regarding these subjects). It opened the doors for me to explore philosophy, sociology, and spirituality in general.

But I knew that it wasn’t something to take lightly. I’ve known that from the beginning, as I’ve touched on above – and I thank my early experiences with cannabis for this understanding in terms of the several year period in which it provoked intense anxiety in me each time I imbibed. It highlighted (flashing-billboard style, really) some entrenched, deep personal issues I needed to address. And it was when was able to have positive experiences with cannabis for the first time in years that I knew I’d transcended the majority of my internal anxiety, it served as a spiritual, psychological, and emotional “health indicator” of sorts.

I share this because I feel that our experiences with various psychoactives all relate to each other, to some degree. What role they tend to play in our lives, what we use them for, etc. I can (and will) only speak for myself, but personally I think of them as sacred tools to aid us in our spiritual evolution. It breaks my heart to see people abuse them, or develop a relationship with entheogens that serves (or appears to anyway) little purpose besides empty ego entertainment. Yes, they can be fun, but then the fun can turn overwhelming if caution isn’t exercised.

A close friend of mine disrespected them to such a degree, over a period of several years, that she lost her hold onto her ropes of sanity after untangling them chronically and haphazardly (to this day she remains the least self-aware individual I’ve ever met, which is the last type of person that should be experimenting with their perception). Voyages into the entheogenic realm need to be supplemented with self-reflection and stability in-between, or the void can swallow a person’s mind right up, so to speak. Difficult experiences can be beneficial, even necessary at times, if they're viewed through a healthy perspective.

Anyway, this is SO LONG, I apologize. It finally feels like the right time for me to become acquainted with the spice, and I was drawn to this community to share my experiences and perspectives and hopefully learn as much as I can from such an amazing group of individuals. Hopefully I’ve given you an understanding of who I am, where I stand in terms of this subject and these substances. I look forward to getting to know all of you

Much love!

Sounds great, you are gonna find alot of like minded people. Totally agree with the respect thing, it will come around and bite you if you arent careful. Rather safe then sorry also welcome

The secret life of plants is an amazing book, welcome to the Nexus.

Very nice intro, welcome to the Nexus.

Fear is always going to stay around in a way... as Terence McKenna put it regarding DMT, no matter how experienced you are, one's hands always shake before lighting the pipe. But it's the contrary, recklessness and lack of awareness, that poses a real danger. Learning to observe the fear and to handle it is in the very backbone of the experience. For that you need awareness of it, so looks like you're good to go.

thank you for the kind welcome! supposedly a documentary with the same title was released a few years ago, but i haven't seen it yet though



thanks for the thought-provoking reply i think that's one of the most fascinating things about DMT, that it will always be fear before using it no matter how many experiences a person has had. it brings to mind mckenna's thoughts on DMT as one of the most novel experiences (if not THE most, maybe after actually dying! lol) a person can have... we're most afraid of that which is unfamiliar, and usually fear fades as the dark unknown is filled in by the light of experience. but becoming acclimated to the DMT realm... i just can't see how that could be possible on any level! that's another truly magical aspect about it i think.

The experiences with DMT (or salvia, for that matter) can be so alien, mind-warping and unique that they're probably right in the antipodes of anything you can get used to.

For me, the fear in the beginning had to do with my existing mindset. Often I felt that I was so close to completely capsizing my understanding of the world, without even using any deep altered states, that psychedelics felt like giving a shove forward to a tight rope walker.

The interesting thing is that, after my first meaningful trip, somehow I realized that I was not insane - that my ramblings and crazy thoughts were a joke compared to the psychedelic insight, that reality was much weirder than I could imagine. That brought some sort of strange relief.

Now I mostly struggle against my controlling impulse. But fear stays there, fear is a shapeshifter. Good thing we need it to be there in order to overcome it.