I underwent my reiki 1 this past monday. This involves an attunement...apparently the teacher opened up my crown chakra. From what I've read, this can cause toxins to stir about, come back to the surface, that kind of thing. She did not warn me of this...
Anyway, by the time I got home the back of my throat was itching. I've had flu-like symptoms ever since. Also, my emotional life has been fairly busy, I've come to accept a thing or two that I've been trying to deal with for years. Personal history stuff, unimportant to the present conversation.
There's still more toxic stuff in me. Unresolved issues....things can take forever sometimes. How long have I been in hell? I've been trying to keep going, to work through this stuff. Ayahuasca, fasts, sweat lodges, changes in lifestyle, yoga, chi gong, abandonning destructive thought patterns, changing my group of friends, quiting recreational drugs.....still filled with poison. Still surrounded by deamons.
So yesterday I made up my mind to take pharmahuasca. For me, this was an intimidating proposition, to dose myself on pharma (for the first time) alone, whilst suffering a terribly sore throat, diareah and muscle cramps all as the apparent result of chakras being opened. Man, I had to be brave and just face it.
Trip report:
300 mgs ethanol extract of syrian rue. A full spectrum hygroscopic goo that I've only ever smoked before. Taken this time in a capsule.
150 mgs spice. This was a freebase that I dissolved in og and drank in two gulps, one at 30 mins after the rue, the second 20 mins later.
When the nausea started to come on, I reached for my ukulele, thinking to guide myself through the rough spots, similar to the way shamans use their icaros to help people. I was expecting a really rough time--it did not come. Nausea passed without any purge. An hour or so later I re-dosed another 100 mgs rue extract plus another 50 mgs spice, this time dissolved in lemon juice.
Mostly just hours of introspective stuff, with some CEV's....less body load than I got with anahuasca.
At about the 3 hour mark I vaped some spice. Whewwwww---! That was something. Intense, beautiful, lasted forever, open eyes and closed eyes made little difference....and it just kept lasting. Very cool. No real entity contact, but the moving stuff sure seemed to hold messages for me. You know what I mean.
Anyways, some emotional healing was done. And I got a new song, which I will surely use during future trips.
I've had damage done to me during my childhood and adolescence. I've done a lot of work since then, trying to improve myself, creating new imprints and whatnot. Still, I have added to my damage greatly. My joints ache. IBS for the past year. I have scar tissue on my scalp (from a night that I lived most unwisely, the sort of night where you wake up days later in a hospital lucky to be alive....I almost put quotes around the word "lucky", but that sort of unappriciative arrogance sarcasm just creates more pain).
I'll go back for my reiki 2 in a few weeks. Also I'll try pharma again soon--I want to get some caapi first, as rue is all I've ever used before.
"Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods." Albert Einstein
I appreciate your perspective.