Hello everyone, I'm new to this forum
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This post is to say Hi to the forum, and to share my crazy 2c-b experience which some might be interested to read. Lets say it was more of a ''psychedelic/consciousness'' experience, because the word 2c-b is too limiting to what I am about to write, but first, lets talk briefly about my experience with psychedelics.
I was interested in psychedelic drugs long before I had access to them. Well about 9 months ago I moved to a place where I can finally get access to them, and have experimented quite a lot during this time.
I've noticed, at least with LSD and 2cb (since I have most experience with them) that there is a certain ''psychedelic'' feel, I don't know how to discribe this, it's sort of like a new sense unlocked for me to experience, and I associate them with geometric patterns/kalaedioscopes. Kalaedioscope are probably one of the main features of a psychedelic trip, where it feels like these patterns are a part of creation and allow everything to be. During this ''psychedelic'' experience I can become very energetic. At this state, I can guide myself and study the trip, going deeper and deeper into the psychedelic experience, no movement, just with my mind. This experience doesn't happen on every trip, but can happen any time during the trip, being very intense even after the peak is over. I feel a sense of understanding about everything, a connectedness to the universe where everything is just flowing as ONE ( I & everything else) and I tend to be awake and joyful, and feel like im sparkling, it feels like the energy in my body is so intense, like increasing in frequency and sometimes I start to shake intensly with energy feeling as if I'm disintegrating into light. This psychedelic feeling is usually felt when tripping with others, and sometimes I can literally ''feel'' other people who are tripping.
When I'm tripping, I like to spend some time alone and explore consciousness.
Anyways, that was a quick paragraph of what I will say about the word ''psychedelic'', which is relevant to the below post about my last night speechless 2c-b experience.
*Can you please describe what ''psychedelic'' means to you, or at least what would you associate the term with?*Now, a crazy trip report:So, last night I took 40-50mg of 2cb alone, which is quite a high dose. During the trip I smoked weed, listened to music, explored visuals & visions, was in complete darkness and silence at for some time and etc. I even resolved some personal issues and shed some tears releasing supperssed emotions. It felt wonderful... fully feeling, accepting & releasing an emotion I could not earlier understand.
It was quite an intense trip, visuals were incredible, and I definitely did have this ''psychedelic'' feel! But being quite tired and 3 hours gone by since i've taken the drug, I decided to just chill and surf the internet and smoke more weed so I can fall asleep, wanting to get up early in the morning.
Well that's when I decided to explore concsiousness, actually, since I was already having this ''psychedelic'' experience . I thought about who 'I' am, but I couldn't point him out. So I continued searching, going deeper and deeper into a psychedelic experience, the ganja intensifying it, and the geometric patterns are flowing with the experience. I continued exploring, now instead of looking for who this ''I'' is, I focus on the experience that ''I'' am/is experiencing... this life that is happening, which we perceive with our senses.
Then I realized something, I realized that ''I'' was happening, ''I'' was this experience. I was getting sucked deeper and deeper into the psychedelic world here, which feels so true and real. So there I was, experiencing this, I was everything, I was the sounds, the sensations, everything I saw, everything I sensed with my senses was I. I literally saw ''I'', saw this experience, the me that's happening. Not with a sense of sight, but it was more of.... eh I cannot describe it. It was beyond the me I normally know, beyond the identity I created for myself.
Then I thought ''What if I die, this identity, this human experience vanishes, what is left'', and WOW, the human experience started shifting, ''I'' was not in a human experience, it looked/felt like the kalaedioscopes were shifting reality into something beyond what we can perceive as human beings, it had a ''vision'' to it, which looked like this ''I'' was some advanced intelligence, ''I'' was everything, ''this experience'' was everything, it was you, me, the table that was infront of me, the bed I was lying on, except these things were not as labelled, they just were ''IT!''.
This was all now happening very fast I believe, I was going DEEP, my human experience continuing to shift in a direction which I can't point out, shifting into something else, beyond this experience, something which felt like death, death of the human experience that is. At this point it started getting VERY scary. I could guide myself towards this experience and go deeper, which felt like the ultimate truth, but if I continued to go there, I felt like I would never come back. So I started to resist as I was getting terrified. ''What will happen if I go deeper? What is there to see beyond this?'', the psychedelic experience was pulling me. It was like this life is ALL an illusion, our/mine/your (all is one) Illusion. This was all created by me/us/whatever, and I was going beyond it, beyond the matrix.
I thought if I had gone further, I would enter a different world, a COMPLETELY different world/universe that HERE I would probably not exist and never have existed, that this experience would vanish like a dream and I will be set free from this scary experience that is going on, and nothing that exists now would ever have existed in the place I was about to enter. BUT, I also thought thtat if I enter this place, I will experience life/me there, but I might have just really gone crazy HERE (in this ''life''
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, psychosis. I did not want to enter, this was too intense, I was scared, I thought of experiences I've had here, my family, it would be a pitty to leave everything. I said my name to my self to make sure I was still here as ''me'' that I know. I though of what I look like so I could remember. I had to think of this human life in order to bring myself back completely and avoid the presence of this psychedelic experience, I was on a survival mission here. I frequently adjusted the light levels in the room to the point where I feel most relaxed and back on earth, in this solar system. If my thoughts wander anywhere towards personal expansion it would be a chain reaction and I would again start getting closer to discovering who ''I'' am and see ''I'' beyond my identity, this is what I was avoiding, I don't know why. I even thought of coca cola commercials to bring me back to this ''society'' hah.
I continued to focus myself back here, until I could fall asleep, and now awake in the next morning. Good to be alive ;p
During the experience, I was going to write down knowledge I gained, keywords, phrases so I can remember this experience today and analyze it today, but I couldn't because if I start writing or typing it then I would be typing the ''truth'' that I realized, which would then remind me of the truth and lead me away from this human ego experience and once again pull me towards my true ''I'' beyond my human identity, which would always scare me. I even thought that if I tried to write it down today while sober, I would go back to this ''true'' experience, and it felt like I really would, because it was so true and understandable.
I cannot remember and explain the experience to the level that I experienced it, I even forgot quite a lot of it and how to comprehend it as i did before. The experience above is not accurate as no psychedelic experience can be linguisticly communicated, I believe. We can only read/listen to it and try to comprehend.
I also had visions of places I was experiencing before, not in this life, but they felt like dreams.
I forgot to mention that the night before I had some Ayahuasca. Only the b. caapi slightly hit me tho, but I doubt it had anything to do with this experience.
What are your thoughts? Have you ever had similar experiences?
Thank you for reading this, please share what you can