Hi! I'm clueless and curious and a thousand other things. I am/have been depressed, perhaps a little insane, and incredibly lost at one point or another.

I've had an interest in psychedelics for the past year or so. I had always wanted to have one of these "mystical experiences" I'd read about so much, precipitated by the use of one of the psychedelics. My interest has been mostly, (definitely so now,) for learning, and exploration of self, mind, and universe.

Recently, I had my first true "mystical experience" with a mescaline cactus. I brewed it carefully; I kept a near constant watch over it, staying true to it even through wave after wave of an excited girlfriend's kisses. After it finished brewing, I greedily put the other drops in my two bottles of snot-brew. When the two of us drank it, I noticed one of my bottles had a cracked top, and some had dripped out. At that point, I realized the greed was silly. Just before drinking, I whispered into the bottle, "I need a little guidance."

During the trip, although mild, I could "feel" this one big Thing. It was like a glimpse through feeling of what the universe could possibly hold. Afterwards, I kept thinking "it gave me just what I needed."

Currently, I await the growing of mushrooms, and am starting to look into DMT more and more. I feel that mescaline was a catalyst, mushrooms are preparation, and DMT will be quite the lesson. I want to learn about it now, and have that knowledge for when I'm ready to undertake that step. I hope to learn a lot from this forum.

Welcome! There is no exaggeration in the stories of great mystical experiences. You'll be amazed at how deep you can go, how astonishing the truths are that you'll encounter, how thoroughly you can be transformed in this way.

Great that you are starting slowly and doing your research. This is a great community for that, not only for reading about health and safety and all that other before-you-journey stuff, but also for sharing your experiences. It helps to have a supportive community when you come back down from an intense experience with your whole sense of reality blown apart. These are the folks to talk to.

In my own travels I started slowly on small doses of LSD and worked my way up... Probably didn't try DMT until I had almost a hundred acid and shroom trips under my belt. You can work your way up much faster than this if you want, but I would definitely recommend getting a bit of experience with the "slower" psychedelics before plunging headlong into hyperspace via DMT.

And it sounds like you're already moving in that direction. From what little I know of your story, it looks like you are trying to take control in a positive way. Best of luck!