Hello everyone
I've been following the DMT nexus for some time now, and I would like to start contributing to the pool of knowledge here.
I would first like to mention that everything I say here is a fictional story that I created so that I can participate in this community. None of what I say is based on factual events, and any similarity to factual events is purely coincidence or consequence of story-telling.
I am 22 years old. I am a college student in FL, about to graduate with a B.S. in Psychology, and I moving on to a spiritually oriented psychology graduate school in CA to study counseling psychology.
My first experiences of altered states of consciousness were with lucid dreaming. I began actively attempting to lucid dream 4 years ago. After my first experience, I was shocked by the realness of it. I was no longer convinced in a dogmatic, objective reality, and opened myself to the possibility that everything that I thought I knew could be an illusion. I also had an out of body experience during one of these experiences, which further reinforced this idea.
Soon after these events, a close friend told me that psychedelic substances were not addicting or detrimental to health. I didn't believe him at first, but researched it myself and found it to be true. I had never touched a psychedelic substance before, not even weed, but I became determined to investigate. Several months later I had my first experience with LSD. Out of ignorance of the strength and power of the drug, I took 4 strong tabs. It was difficult at first, but after a few hours I found myself in a mystical state of consciousness, with my beingness expanding and incorporating the entire cosmos. This was completely unexpected. I had no idea these substances could produce this kind of spiritual experience. After doing some research, I found that it was relatively common.
My interest in psychedelic substances increased after this. Since I thought I had "mastered" the effects of LSD at a high dose, my next experience was with the same dosage, but this time, my arrogance got the best of me. I tried to recreate the same experience as before. Instead, I was overpowered by a feeling that I was going crazy, accompanied by an extremely strong physical pain that I couldn't identify on my body. After 16 excruciating hours, it finally wore off, and I learned that the power of these substances should not be toyed with.
A few months later, I began to smoke weed frequently. My first few experiences really made me realize how socially unaware I was. I became observant of how social interactions transpire and began to notice how I was shutting people out, not flowing, and generally being a douche bag to people. I began to transform myself to facilitate the flow of all interactions that I would come across.
A year after my first LSD experience, I had made multiple connects with people who had LSD and mushrooms. I was tripping every other week, and occasionally more frequently, up to twice in a week. By the middle of that summer I had tried LSD, mushrooms, mescaline, and 2CE. It was at this time that I first heard about DMT, and was fascinated by its purported ability to "blast off" people out of this dimension. I was determined to find it.
Towards the end of the summer, through a remarkable series of synchronicities, a friend informed me about his shaman friend who had it, but that he was moving the next day, so I had to do it that night. I was already tripping on 4 tabs of LSD that night with a friend, so I was hesitant at first, but knew that this would be my chance to experience the most powerful mind altering chemical known to humanity. The experience was amazing. When my shaman friend opened the space, there was a noticeable shift in the feel of the room, to a calming, soothing, holy presence. When I began to smoke it, I began to feel life and consciousness in everything around me. I didn't have a "breakthrough" experience, but I was told that I had more than enough to have such an experience. I became cocky about this, thinking "Oh man, I must be some kind of psychedelic superman, DMT hardly affects me at all!". This mentality would warp my next few experiences with the spice. By the beginning of fall, from what my friends told me, I was totally spaced out. I had reached the limit of where I could go, while still functioning within my current life.
I took a break from psychedelic substances because I had an intensive semester at school. When I resumed in spring, I decided to take a much more spiritual orientation with my usage of these substances. I began meditating and smoking weed entheogenically, with the intention of gaining spiritual knowledge and wisdom from such experiences. My next encounter with the spice came after the Ocala Rainbow Gathering of 2011, where I acquired it. The spice was very very harsh, made my whole mouth numb, but with a painful sensation that took over the experience. I smoked almost two hits, but in retrospect, I realize that I burned most of it. Again, I didn't have a full breakthrough, just a very strong trip. I did have a sensation that I was connecting up to the "trans-dimensional information network", but didn't really experience more than just the sensation that it was occurring. In my cockiness, I reinforced my idea that I was "beyond" DMT. Since there was still some DMT left in the pipe after the experience, I smoked more a few days later. During one of these sessions, I realized that I was getting psychologically addicted to DMT, treating it like crack, I couldn't just let it go. Upon this realization at the threshold of the DMT experience that was arising, I became deeply disturbed and decided that I need to really give it more respect.
Six months later, I teamed up with a friend and we began to extract DMT at his apartment. At the time I was working at a group home for kids with severe autism and behavioral issues. My difficult time with the violence of these children tainted my first few samples of the spice we made. I finally had a breakthrough experience, but I found myself alternating between "hellish" and "heavenly" vibratory spectrums, with the fear and constant stress I was having from work. I eventually quit that job and didn't have the difficult feelings any more.
After a few experiences, I found myself adapting and able to keep touch with consensus reality, in the midst of the peak of a DMT session (though in retrospect, I think I wasn't vaping it right, so I wasn't getting it all at once). Still cocky about my ability "handle" DMT, and my continuing psychological addiction to keep pushing the limits of altering my consciousness, I went absolutely apeshit with it one night. Since I had so much spice, I decided to smoke it for an hour continuously. I would smoke, put it down for 2 minutes and when I remembered that I was still in my living room, I would load the pipe and smoke again, repeating this for an hour. I began communicating with spirits in everything around me. I understood what the realm of the shaman was. Halfway through I noticed that the spirits were becoming increasingly agitated with me continuing to smoke. I kept going anyways, determined to completely push the limits as far as I could go. I reached a point where the spirits intervened and informed me that if I kept going, I would never come back to ordinary, baseline consciousness. After some deliberation, I decided to stop. That experience really threw me off for a few weeks, so I decided never to abuse the spice again.
After I recovered from that blow-out of my energy, I decided to start small before returning to DMT. I began smoking weed, but with an intention to open myself and communicate with the spirits of my surroundings. I found myself connecting with everything from furniture, to plants and herbs, to insects, to birds, to even beings from elsewhere in the cosmos. I found my balance again and returned to the spice. I began to take breaks of at least 2-4 weeks between sessions so that I could allow all experiences, knowledge, and wisdom that I had "downloaded" from hyperspace to unfold naturally, without trying to force too many "lessons" to happen at once. I have been continuing these lessons/sessions for about 6 months now.
Last December, I first came across salvia. Having heard many horror stories about salvia, I started small with it, tested the waters with smaller doses, working my way up. After a few times doing this, I felt pretty secure with it, but noticed that it had a vibe/feeling that if provoked with even the slightest disrespect, the salvia spirit would totally rip your ass a new one. I tried to be cautious every time I worked with it. I mixed it in with weed and other herbs and learned a lot from its energy-sense-enhancing effects. One night, however, I was smoking it with my girlfriend. I smoked more than I ever had before, out of a need to prove something. I understood its reality-shifting properties, but as I was returning to this world, something happened with my reintegration. The salvia spirit put me into a really uncomfortable vibe that imbalanced my energy for a week or two. I gave my salvia away to someone, and haven't touched it since, though I would like to make amends with it some time in the future.
In my latest experiences with the spice, I have been going into hyperspace with the intention of bringing harmony to our world, which is in the midst of completely destroying itself. Inside and outside of these experiences, I have been learning to quiet my ego and totally let go, which has resulted in journeys farther into hyperspace than I have ever gone before.
I have a lot of stories, knowledge, techniques, and wisdom that I want to share with this community, so hopefully I will be able to soon