this is my first post, and i will attempt a trip report. though this'll be my first report as well so bear with me whilst I try to describe the events as concise as I can.
I've just smoked a large amount of changa. (cannot tell how the specifics as I do not own any scales) but I'm waiting for an update from a friend to give an estimate. I'll update this post later.
I've smoked dmt numerous times before and I was under the impression that I've broken through before, but I've never experienced what I experienced tonight. I can't honestly tell you if I've had a bad trip - it was beautiful, mesmerizing, but I feel like I've visited a place that I was not prepared for this time.
Ok so this has been the largest dose of changa I've smoked. I began to play some light ambient music in the background, and some visuals just to set the mood whilst I began to smoke. Half way through my joint (I did not mix it with weed) I began to get agitated by the music so turned it off. I want only silence. I could feel the dmt taking effect, the usual dream like looking through a looking glass state of being. I sat down on my bed and began to smoke. I became lost in the closed eye visuals, I lost my body. I wanted to keep hold of my body as I still had half a joint to smoke and wanted to see how far I could push my mind. Breathe, inhale, i loose my lips, my throat, my lungs. I don't know if I've held my breathe for as long as I can. I don't notice myself exhaling. I'm no longer in my body. I'm in this fractal dimension, at first I'm met with beautiful beings, aztec images, I feel peace, almost like I've reached Niravna. I open my eyes, toke one last puff before I know I'll loose all control of my body. I'm back with my eyes closed in the place, where everything exists but at the same time its nothing, a black hole. I'm in this black hole and for x amount of secs I know the secrets of the universe, the answer to every quantum physic equation. I leave my body, I see my room i'm sitting and feel like I'm not there. Then I notice the music, well the loud ringing in my ears, there's a beat to it and people are dancing. Its joyous and everything is so beautiful. I want to feel this peace forever but then I'm then pushed back, I have this sense of fear engulf me though I know I'm only tripping and try to remain relaxed, these beings, my subconscious starts showing me things. I feel this huge ache in my heart, I want to stay but I feel like I'm being pushed back. I try to push out this negative energy within my heart. All I desire is peace and understanding, but I feel like or am told that this negative energy I have in my heart is what I need to release whilst I'm in a body and that when I'm ready to no longer feel pain will be the time that I'm allowed to experience this peace forever. I begin to hear my breathing, like its not my own - I know that I'm coming back into this world and once I'm back I feel like I'm back in a dream. I feel more composed. Older. I feel like myself but I feel like I've detached my soul from my body and am now using my body as a tool.
I can no longer keep myself sat upright, so I curl my head down between my knees. The patterns are still there but I'm not of that place, I'm back in my room - where the objects feel characterized and playdough like. I'm coming out of it. I have this sense that I'm glad I'm no longer tripping as I felt scared like I wasn't going to return back to my body. but at the same time this peace I felt was so beautiful.
I feel no emotion right now, maybe a sense of awe. I'd desribe the experience as wow! As with any dmt experience. This one was no like any other, I'm reminded that as a human we can not just have happiness and that its the pain that makes us alive. I don't know what else to say.
I'm sorry I haven't been very specific with the details such as lenght of trip, amount I took. If my friend gets back to me I'll be sure to update. I have to get some more dmt now, for my next experience. I'll take a while to reflect on my thoughts, fears and wonders before I break through again.
we are the music makes,
and the dreamers of dreams