So just recently I realized that nutmeg contained an maoi (myristica) which is also why it is psychoactive. I have orally ingested nutmeg before with very positive experiences which is why I enjoyed it.

Unknowingly what I was going to put myself through later that day, I ingest a roughly 3-5 grams orally and smoked with marijuana about a gram of nutmeg as well. Later that same day within about 8 hour period I ingest two rolls (could contain small amounts of MDMA and prolly a shit ton of fillers/other bad things) about the same time(dropped the other an hour later) and was in hell/dying for about a week straight for the strongest affects of it after it tappered off about a week and a half later. Still felt the constant affects about a month later.

(After about an hour after ingesting) Initially I went into a catatonic trance like state could not move or talk very well/did not feel like doing anything else but making it stop. My blood pressure must have dropped when the double drop kicked in because then I got ice cold but was sweating balls rapped in blankets not being able to do much but survive what was going on(could not throw up pills either all I threw up was OJ which burned on its way out). Stomach felt like it was on fire probably because of the massive amount of OJ to increase the pills, going in and out of consciousness, didn't have any visuals, felt like a spike was being driven into my brain nonstop for at-least the first couple of days which slowly died off, had a great sensitivity to light and any type of stimuli, breathing was very difficult(panting most of the time) felt as if I never was able to catch my breath fully, also more symptoms arose ranging of not being able to think, hard of seeing, extreme nausea, stomach felt like it was on fire for about 2 weeks, my cognitive ability to preform daily tasks like school or talking to people were not a possibility, not being able to remember things that I use to(like simple things like mathematics or remember my keys were in my pocket just dumb things people shouldn't forget or not know how to do).

I felt every since that day I did some sort of permanent damage to my brain and I haven't been able to recovery properly I still feel changed by the experience and I was wondering if this is symptoms of SSRI or more serious neurological damage. I have slowly refrained from almost all drugs except spice(very occasional because of the sheer power) and Mary J (which I have completely abstained from for about a month now) trying to see if it will help recover any damage I caused but so far nothing has helped. A great disconnect is felt between my body/old thinking my new mind I feel is worse then my old one. I just wanted some opinions because I do not want to see a specialist and have a serious neurological condition on my medical records(more or less paranoia of being called crazy/insane).

..hey, sorry to hear of your experience..i'm a psych not a neurologist, but i don't think it's very likely to be permanent neurological damage.. it sounds more like a serotonin imbalance or poisoning..in the case of serotonin or other neurochemical imbalances or syndromes the system can return to balance in a few weeks to months if allowed to rest, and/or with gentle serotonin supplements..
..you should consult a neurologist and (IMO) a naturopath, but i just wanted to let you know that many such aftereffects of poisoning are not permanent..take care..

Hey thanks Nen888 but it sure feels like its lingering for quite a while its been approximately four months since that experience and things have been very subtle but are still very there which made me think it may been permanent. Also should I tell the specialist the truth about my concern or is there a way around that or should I just not be that concerned with them knowing such information? This has been in the back of my mind for the entire time span and has been concerning me more and more which why Ive chosen to go straight edge for at-least a month now to maybe recover.

I doubt there will be permanent effects. Be more careful though in the future, dosing like that is reckless..though I am sure you realize that now. I ate a wackload of nutmeg once about 9 years ago with a friend, and yeah never did that again..it was not bad persay..but not something I felt like repeating and I would not have enjoyed adding MDMA on top of it.

Relax, make sure you eat healthy and grounding food to build yourself back up and dont stress too much about it..go see a doctor if you feel you need to it might put your mind at rest.

What exactly is this grounding food you speak of?

..absolutely tell the specialist the whole story (not the doctor who refers you) ..they deal with drug-induced syndomes and toxicity all the time..you don't need to give any more info than what led to the actual condition..

..if you're in somewhere really weird like Texas or Alabama, maybe head up north..

Alright I shall do! Had lots of concerns/fears from that sole experience because I know a lot damage can be done with these more/or less synthetic drugs. Appreciate the info fellow Nexians helps calm my worrying mind somewhat.

I agree with Jamie and Nen888 that its doubtful you've sustained a 'hole in the head' ie permanent neurological injury; it sounds much more neurochemical to me.This is one of the hazards of combining substances, particularly when pills of dubious content and/or purity are taken in conjunction with other substances.

Just trying to hopefully prevent others in doing the same mistake combo I did with any other bad combos(MAOI/RIMA's). Ive definitely learned from that experience being a lot more cautions with drug interactions.