Ok nexus it's time for a personal one,

The one we call PrimateSphinx has been taking psychedelics for about five years or so now with heavy use of LSD and lighter use on mushrooms in the early days. This period of heavy acid use has left me with Hallucinogen Persisting Perceptual Disorder (HPPD) and I no longer take acid but now there is always a screen of "tv static" visuals superimposed over everything i look at which used to cause me a lot of stress but is now just annoying that I've gotten used to it. My HPPD got a lot worse two years ago when I tried smoking spice whilst on acid which was one of the most terrifying psychedelic experiences I have had to date which had a plethora of angry demons who wanted to kill me and hated me just because I existed intermittent with fractalizations of cheesy skulls. After this trip(which was my last acid trip) my HPPD was kicked up tenfold to where I was in a "trip state" at least visually 100% of the time. The visual aspect of this has calmed down considerably in the year and a half or so that this occurred but my vision has still never been the same. I mean I really have no trouble seeing but it is really annoying watching tv static at all times so my first question is : Are there any methods (meditation, etc) that any of you out there have developed to maybe help this go away because I'm sure some of you out there have HPPD. I mean I know that curtailing drug use for an extended period of time can make it go away and I am trying that but am having a hard time cutting down on my cannabis use which I know makes it worse. I've made the conscious choice that I'm going to cut back considerably to maybe once or twice a month but I don't know if I trust myself to hold true to that. Any advice?

My second problem lies with our good friend DMT and what it has done to my view of reality. First off I want to say that I have nothing against DMT and have loved it more and more for the two or so years I have been taking it, but all my DMT experiences have made me very confused about how to handle the "everyday reality". I mean for me it's hard to do day to day things while I know that there is a full infinite immaterial multiverse of intelligent life thriving in another dimension as well as the material multiverse that is thriving as well and most people either deny it or are kept in the dark. I mean don't to get me wrong I know that it is a total privilege to be living here on earth at this incredible time and I want to be here but it is hard going about in society when I know that some of my most life-affirming experience that helped create my belief system would be grounds to put me in an asylum or jail if they knew how I came to those experiences. I have no regrets for taking DMT and in fact it was one of the best things I ever did with my life but I just wish there were more grounds to talk about it openly in society because I would love to tell my parents and honestly anyone about what I have discovered. But of course it is ridiculed and demonized as most controversial things are. I guess I'm not really looking for a specific answer about how to deal with this but I would like to know how all of you deal with it because it has definitely damaged what little social skills I had to begin with(as well as my ability to relate to others) and it is hard not to slip into apathy for anything that involves people for me. Honestly I would love to be the most social person in the world and love the social scene but it seems that the social scene (among my friends at least)can be equated with drinking/partying (which destroys my body when I do so I can't but seemed stale in the first place) and smoking weed which I just don't want to do as much anymore. Well anyway nexus i'm in a rut and I want out. This has severely damaged my ability to keep and look for jobs as well as maintain healthy relationships and everyday life seems a bore. Like I said i'm not looking for any specific answer but if any of you have dealt with stuff like this your advice would be much appreciated.

And if any of you have heard the song "The Dive" By Eyedea and Abilities that song almost describes my predicament perfectly (sadly).
Have you ever felt yourself slippin' away?
Where all you think about's your sanity, and how it decayed?
There's no place to run, no place to hide
You can't escape from inside, and you're losing your mind
You try to think of when it started, and ask yourself why
But each thought deepens the sickness and completes the desert dry
Fear feeds the derangement of the inner eye
With nothing left you find yourself falling to madness so you dive
(RIP Eyedea)
http://www.metrolyrics.c...ive-a-lyrics-eyedea.html


anyway sorry to drop a load on all of you but y'all are nice and intelligent folk so I'm sure I'll get some good answers
thanks guys

Thanks for sharing. The way I see it the very best thing PrimateSpinx could do at this point in life is lay off all drugs for a long while.

First reason is the HPPD issue. I have had these artifacts from time to time in my life also. I dont have them anymore because I chose cessation over a worsening condition. This was many years ago. The HPPD will more than likely go away with time and you will probably be able to come back to LSD and use it in a more moderate fashion and not have HPPD again. That was the case with me anyway. Having to deal with that, effects a human in more ways than we know. Its not good.
Second reason to stop for a while is the perception of reality issue. By the sounds of what you have written you probably are in need of a nice long integration period. You mentioned that you have been hitting DMT now for two years? You need some integration time. Time to allow your mind to recover from the trauma that is hyperspace. Your mind has allot of things that it needs to work out and if you dont allow your mind time to heal or integrate, it causes problems, like an inability to view reality like you should be.

My recommendation would be that you take a break from all hallucinogens including weed for at least 6 months .... or longer. Allow yourself some time to heal. Sounds like you have jacked yourself up pretty good both mentally and physically.

take some time to relax.

my 2 cents.

I know it's hard. The people who you would think you could tell your 'drug-related' experiences to drink and smoke when you don't want to anymore, and the people who are normally sober can come off as lame. I know for me it's hard to get reality to feel real (if that makes sense) since smoking dmt. Everything almost seems like I'm watching it from a distance, and the knowledge of hyperspace along side our reality is something. These are annoying persistent feelings I deal with, but they don't mess with my life because I would never let them. I cope with it by remembering how intense a dmt trip is, it's crazy busy there, and I love relaxing, so why wouldn't I spend my time relaxing and doing what I want to do? So if you want to be social, don't let yourself stand in your way. Just start talking to someone. Having a job is a great way to meet similar people. That's your motivation for that And don't judge people, don't assume they're boring, don't assume they always want to go out drinking to have fun, don't assume sober people are lame. Assumptions have never worked out for me when meeting people. I'm not saying you are, but give people a chance to be entertaining. If your life is boring, no one is going to come entertain you, you have to do it yourself. Don't limit your friends to people you already know. I've decided to take a long break from dmt until I feel back to normal again, I would do the same if I was you too.

Some simple suggestions, though not always easy:
Participate in the world we all share. Be of service to others (serve food, pull weeds, beach clean-ups...?). Offer something of yourself, consciously, absolutely free. Focus on fitness of mind/body by getting sweaty and out of breath regularly.
Best,
L

I would reiterate everything the previous responders said. I think giving yourself a solid year off all substances is indicated. It seems to me your dualistic notion of hyperspace vs. day to day reality is a falsity, and it's causing you much distress. Integration is the key. Take some time off, and make a focus of helping others in whatever way you can. Make art. Take up a sober meditation practice and gets lots of physical activity. I have found that because of my psychedelic travels my creativity, meditation and yoga regimen has launched into totally new dimensions. There are infinite states to access, infinite paths to the truth. The view from the mountain is indescribable, but you also have to return to the valley with your new understandings, from time to time. There are infinite lessons to be learned there as well.

Sat Nam

thanks guys that's some good advice. I'm gonna really try to stay off substances for a while and get my life in order. I do kinda feel that I've learned what I can from Psychedelics at this point and that they are only adding to the confusion when I take them now. I don't know my life isn't really that bad at all but there seems to be some part of me that keeps me from enjoying it but excessive weed use is most likely the root of the problem. anyway thanks again and wish me luck

You may feel like you have learned all you can from Psychedelics at this point and you probably have. You are, or you will, learn allot more from psychedelics if you take a long break. After all you have been through, I'm sure you will learn more from being off of them then you ever did while you were on them. You say life isnt that bad, and maybe its not, but, do you really know how good life can be? I wouldnt be so quick to just blame it all on weed. I tend to think what you got goin on is the sum of the whole.


Ljosalfar wrote-



Ljossalfar, that is some of the best advice given thus far.

yeah i don't think that weed is a bad drug or anything and I know the problem goes deeper than that but smoking it everyday or close to that makes me very lazy and unable to make any conscious choice to do anything with my life. I haven't smoked in a few days now and honestly I feel better already and I can feel my mental faculties getting stronger as is what usually happens when I take a weed break. And your right I know I don't know how good life could be but I'm pretty set on finding out this time. Like I said weed in the past has not prevented but somewhat held me back in moving in any one direction. Also I know psychedelics aren't really fully to blame but it was my overuse of them that put me in the predicament in the first place and I've known that for a while but didn't address it. Anyway sorry if I sounded like a pessimist, I'm really trying to stay positive and trying to get things sorted out. I also think my past few DMT trips I had a while ago were all pointing to this anyway because they all had a tone of "Do you really need this right now?" and very all pretty confusing. But yeah it's a work in progress so i'm trying to make it better and re-stoke on life because i know it's truly a privilege to be here and want to make the absolute best of it
GRacias icehouse