I remember hitting a wall as i was coming out of my first trip five days ago, where i realized i was crying. my chest was tight as if i wanted to break out into an all-out sob. i didnt let it all out because i felt a little inhibited with my two companions. i didnt want to worry them that i was having a bad trip.

but anyway, coming down all i could think/feel to do was cry. they kept asking me if i was ok. i was speechless and felt very moved. my boyfriend said i never looked happy the whole time i was gone (he'd experienced extremely satisfying euphoria and OEVs). but to me, i was in such incredible awe on this closed-eye trip, it was in no way dark, heavy, scary or anything bad.

when i tried to track into what it was i was feeling it was just a really intense, yet non-specific, urge to weep — and more than that, it felt good to cry.

the one thing i remember before the intense urge to cry was being shown how every cell in my body was existing effortlessly. i kept hearing "this is easy, this is easy" over and over. i have suffered from a chronic pain condition for nearly 20 years, and in the trip i was completely pain free, and beyond, like ultra comfortable on top of noticing the absence of pain.

can anyone relate to any of this? why crying? i didnt go anywhere except down a triangle shaped tunnel toward a supremely white light, after which i don't remember much until i started to feel my body as i described above and then the intense urge to cry. i didnt see beings or scenes or objects, at least that i remember.

i hope this post is coherent thanks...

—plex

DMT meditation is amazing stuff.

It's not always about the possibility of the others, or the visuals, or the insight-

Sometimes, you are just every atom of your existence operating as perfectly as you possibly could be, and you can learn so much from this. It feels amazing. I know how you feel I also suffer from chronic pain and have found tremendous relief whilst in hyperspace, and even from psychedelics like LSD.

Crying is good way to express pent up energies inside you, anything stagnant flows out, you don't even have to be sad, sometimes you can be happy, or even emotionless, and still tears will pour down your face. I think it feels amazing, and this for me is my most often occurring form of purge.

Bliss

i DID learn a lot from this! thank you for your response. i am blown away.

in my intro essay, i shared that i was raised in a very strict religious environment where i was taught from a very young age that "worthiness" was the name of the game. I was taught to not have feelings and preferences of my own. i supressed A LOT of emotion and created a chronic immune disorder in my adult life, migraines since age 14.

i think you are exactly right Bliss (is that your av?) I think my trip afforded me an opportunity to experience the intensity of the burdens i have been carrying. and though i have done talk therapy out the wazoo, personal development workshops, prayer, meditation, mushrooms and on and on (and they all have assisted me to one degree or another), i have never felt so distinctly ME as i did with dmt.

if anyone has ever recovered from intense abuse, you know how loss of identity has myriad lasting burdens and affects every decision in life profoundly.

i was taught to not exist, quite simply. im not angry about that anymore, have done a lot of deep forgiveness work. and i think the dmt trip helped me to get in touch with a lot of residual, pocketed burden that was too far out of my consciousness to address in a workshop or a forgiveness session.

im overjoyed at the unraveling insights.

and just as important, my first trip truly was perfect. i am loving that thats what came first. even though i have been away from religion for 10 years now, i feel i will be able to also step out of old leftover roles and identities that have held me back even now.

thanks so much for the response!

—plex

yea definitely crying is a great form of a purge and cleansing.

I had tears flowing on my last two journeys from just pure amazement and love. It was definitely cleansing.

Crying is definitely easy on spice, and often times a part of it. I think there is also some physical or chemical reason why it happens. There seems to be increased tear production.

I've never thought about it as a form of purging before, nor does it feel like that to me.. yet. Though I would love to experience that, purging with spice is super cleansing. so far I have only experienced the dry cry. I get so dehydrated I don't produce tears, hopefully when i fully breakthrough it will be water works. my dry cry just comes from mind blowing epiphanies, not being in total awe.

so interesting that this seems to be a common thing. wow. and everyone's response to it is a little bit different. so interesting

—plex

I would love to see a HPLC analysis comparing post-spice-teardrops (PST) to onion-induced teardrops and sadness-induced teardrops

Once with mescaline I had tears flow out even though I was in the throes of ecstasy. I couldn't explain to my sober girlfriend that I wasn't unhappy or distressed.

Whenever I think of crying I think back to my earliest memories of crying. When I would get hurt, as the pain set in I remember just waiting for the crying to begin. I'd try to hold it in and stop it because adults always were bothered by my crying. So eventually I came to see crying as a problem that I needed to fix. I never decided to cry, but would always decide to stop. So I feel that crying is an act of the body, rather than of the mind. With our minds, we stop the crying, otherwise adults would cry too often. So maybe our bodies require crying for something or other, and it takes the opportunity whenever it is presented. This would probably be especially true of people who at an early age learned the "don't cry" lesson in a harsh way as it appears you and I did.

Wouldn't it be great if there were a way to induce a crying episode at will? You could just force that release at planned times. Like pooping or fingernail clipping.

In one of my recent posts I spoke about how I awoke from my trance like state with tears flowing down my face.

I wasn't by any means sad but the tears kept flowing. I was overtaken by this amazingly strong feeling of love and for just a second I had a glimpse of something divine.

This doesn't happen to me very often but it does on occasion.
Usually its because I find what I'm experiencing is just so beautiful I cant express it with words and the tears just flow...

I like experiences like that. It's like every cell in my body is filled with pure love energy.
It feels great!

I have exited hyperspace with tears in my eyes on quite a few occasions. Although there were times where the tears were associated with heart-wrenching or depressing journeys, most of the times they were not!

Spice has shown me that tears transcend emotions. Crying can act as a release, a purification, an expression of sadness, or as is more typical when working with spice, a reflection of pure awe!

Peace and Happy Journeys

More often than not, I will exit hyperspace with tears in my eyes out of sheer joy and euphoria...and sometimes sheer terror but not usually.

Having not ingested DMT yet I can't speak to that avenue but on many occasions when I ingest mushrooms I have a very awe inspired cry. In fact, my first mushroom trip I spent about two hours in my bed, balling and amazed that I was simply alive. I hadn't thought of it as purging before but as soon as I read House's words I immediately agreed.

First time i broke through was two days ago.
Yesterday i smoked and had no memory of my trip, so idk if i broke through.
Anyway i 'awoke' in astonishment with being in a human body, especially the design of my hands.
But then i realized how cut off i was from some other realm, seemingly a truer reality.
I felt lonely here.

My fascination with so intimately helming this human body gradually gave way to, "oh.. This seperation is 'permanent'..."
I rolled onto my side and wanted to cry.

I always come back tears flowing. Not from sadness or anything negative. Maybe it's from gratitude to be able to experience such a different reality. Although this time I think I had some residue on my hands because my eyes are still burning.

Some of my favorite trips are the ones where upon return I can do nothing but bawl and it feels sooooo good!

I have cried a lot during many psychedelic trips, especially with LSD and for no particular reason at all. I've been happy and joyful, surrounded with the people that I love and the tears still flow. It has felt so cleansing and purifying afterwards.

I'd like to think that it's the body's physical response to so much stimuli and it can't handle it - so the tears flow. This isn't isolated to just me either - many of my friends have shed tears of joy and happiness when under the influence of psychedelics. It seems to be a very normal thing

10/10 - would highly recommend.

Crying is cathartic. In my strongest experiences, that's what usually would end up happening. It's part of it. Just got to let it run it's course. It's a purge of sorts; purging on a different level. I know on my most harrowing spice experience I came out of it, roughly 20 minutes later crying ecstatically, shaking my head, mainly over how overwhelmingly beautiful, intense and moving it all was and how much of a fool I was for doubting and not trusting in what these experiences were revealing to me at the time. This particular experience put the nail in the coffin so-to-speak. I remember coming out of that particular experience with the stark realization that we are eternity staring itself in the face. We're all threads in this woven tapestry that we call reality, but right under the surface.. a quanta away... we (and everything else) are the infinite.

This with me also..at least a handful of times..