Salvia divinorum and depersonalization/derealizationFirst, a couple of definitions:
Depersonalization- "an anomaly of the mechanism by which an individual has self-awareness. It is a feeling of watching oneself act, while having no control over a situation. Sufferers feel they have changed, and the world has become less real, vague, dreamlike, or lacking in significance. It can be a disturbing experience, since many feel that, indeed, they are living in a 'dream'. Chronic depersonalization refers to depersonalization disorder, which is classified by the DSM-IV as a dissociative disorder. Though degrees of depersonalization and derealization can happen to anyone subject to temporary severe anxiety/stress, chronic depersonalization is more related to individuals who have experienced a severe trauma or prolonged stress/anxiety." (
wikipedia)
Derealization - "an alteration in the perception or experience of the external world so that it seems strange or unreal. Other symptoms include feeling as though one's environment is lacking in spontaneity, emotional coloring and depth. It is a dissociative symptom of many conditions, such as psychiatric and neurological disorders, and not a standalone disorder... Derealization is a subjective experience of unreality of the outside world, while depersonalization is unreality in one's sense of self." (
wikipedia)
I realize this is a bit of an uncomfortable subject. But considering the harm reduction nature of the forum, it's a conversation that I can't help but bring up.
Before I begin, I want to make it clear that I believe that for the vast majority of people,
S. divinorum is at worst benign and at best a benevolent substance in terms of personal growth and wellbeing. Of course, there are always exceptions. I'm aware of only two cases reported in the literature where ingestion of the drug led to a long-term adverse reaction; one of these cases resolved after several weeks, while the other remained unresolved after several months. There are also several records of people admitted to the emergency room exhibiting paranoid or schizotypic behavior after smoking salvia, but in these cases it tends to either clear up rapidly, or the individual leaves against the advice of the medical staff. Many of these cases actually involve polydrug use, and there is no indication of a tendency toward long-lasting symptoms.
I have generally regarded these cases as atypical reactions arising after an altered or peak state of consciousness, rather than being part of a complex specific to
S. divinorum... sort of in the vein of the phenomenon that Ann Shulgin experienced (as described in PiHKAL) that she termed a "spiritual crisis."
When composing some comments on these atypical reactions, I had a vague recollection of reading a few posts some years ago where people reported experiencing derealization and/or depersonalization after smoking
S. divinorum, with the phenomena persisting for a few days or weeks before clearing up. When I started googling around to try to turn up some of those posts for reference, I was struck by the number of posts I found that described very long-term impairment of this nature correlated to the use of
S. divinorum. Below I've collected several accounts of long-term derealization/depersonalization attributed to
S. divinorum, as well as a few accounts of transient/short-term effects.
A few features particularly strike me:
- Stress and anxiety are often mentioned when people experiencing long-term adverse effects discuss their mindset prior to the experience that triggered the derealization/depersonalization.
- While many of the reports are heart-wrenching to read, they are very few in number compared to the total portion of the population that has tried S. divinorum (a very conservative estimate would indicate that at least a few million people have tried the drug).
- Every episode of derealization/depersonalization attributed to S. divinorum occured after smoking the drug... never from any other route of administration.
So while I think that people considering trying the drug should be informed of this risk, it is also worthwhile to remember that in terms of raw numbers, the risk is not a large one. Because
S. divinorum seems to directly stimulate feelings of derealization and depersonalization by way of the kappa-opioid receptor, it could be that it carries a greater risk of inducing long-term adverse psychological effects tha the "classic" serotonergic psychedelics. Somewhat ironically, I wonder at the possibility that being informed of this risk might intrinsically increase the risk: Derealization is a very common acute effect of salvinorin A (that is, one experiences dramatic derealization while under its influence). After the drug wears off, it is not uncommon to dwell on that sensation, on how real it may have felt that this reality is an illusion or a hoax, or how one may have felt terrified that they would not find their way back to the correct reality, or that a different version of them might find its way back to the correct reality instead. These feelings are within the normal range of integrating a smoked
S. divinorum experience. But if the user is concerned about the possibility of long-term derealization, I can imagine that rather than productively integrating these thoughts, they could inadvertently trick their brain into producing the sort of long-term derealization that they desperately wish to avoid.
I think it is very prudent to avoid using
S. divinorum while stressed, anxious, or exhausted. And I would encourage people to explore other routes of administration besides smoking; sure it's easy and the effects are immediate, but I think there's a lot more to be gained by taking things more slowly.
These are just some preliminary thoughts. I'm still mulling over the subject myself, and would like to hear what others think about it as well.
Edit (19 Sep 2011): I notice that in a couple of accounts below, people describe having a panic attack while under the influence, and that the experience lasted several hours. That the experience seems to last much longer when someone has a panic attack under the influence leads me to suspect that panic attacks are a crucial factor in these rare long-term reactions. A lack of prior experience with strong mind-altering drugs and a lack of clear ideas of what to expect appear (from the very small sample size of people who have experienced this) seem to be risk factors for this atypical reaction... but these same criteria could also be expected to be risk factors for experiencing a panic attack when faced with the extreme altered state induced by salvinorin A.
I can't help but wonder if this phenomenon is in fact a fairly straightforward manifestation of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The first diagnostic criterion for PTSD is exposure to a traumatic event which involved both loss of "physical integrity" (which could be experientially satisfied by the acute effects of
S. divinorum) and "a response to the event that involved intense fear, horror, or helplessness" (I think a panic attack qualifies as such a response, and fear, horror, and helplessness may all be experienced under the influence). Other criteria are persistent re-experiencing, persistant avoidance and emotional numbing (including things like "decreased involvement in significant life activities," "decreased capacity to feel certain feelings,"an expectation that one's future will be somehow constrained in ways not normal to other people"
), persistent symptoms of increased arousal not present before (including problems with concentration or difficulty sleeping), persistence of symptoms for more than one month, and "clinically significant distress or impairment of major domains of life activity, such as social relations, occupational activities, or other important areas of functioning." These criteria seem to be well-represented in the experiences quoted below.
Just some food for thought.
Anyway, on to the reports:
Salvia induced permanent effects?[http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/5741202/fpart/1/vc/1]
Azen wrote:I smoked some 6X Salvia 3 days ago along with drinking some beer to relax me to the state of smoking. I took a very large hit and was completely gone for about 30 minutes. I had a sitter and she said I was mumbling the whole time some gibberish. After waking up 2 days ago (the next day after smoking) I noticed bothersome visual disturbances and shrugged it off. But as the day went on and until right now I'm experiencing a depersonalization/derealization and almost fright to go into dark places. My head feels like its being crushed by my skull constantly and I really have to struggle to even talk. When I do talk, I sound raspy and distant to people and have had to repeat myself several times because of mumbling.
My first day back at work yesterday a few people came up to me and told me I looked and acted like I was in a different world. I've been struggling with this and have also had constant panic and keep seeing things move in my peripheral vision ontop of the constant visual distortions. The visual distortions can also be pretty intense when trying to go to sleep and I turn the light on immediately when I go into dark rooms.
The visuals have a universal design that makes me look away. They almost feel as they have a presence. I enjoyed the design like experiences when under salvia's influence but don't want them for the rest of my life or even months. It's quite disturbing. I won't touch it again, I couldn't imagine it being worse.
I'd really appreciate any input or help anyone can give me. I hope I didn't do anything permanent.
... I guess my mindset wasn't that great. I'm stressing over a impending separation from my wife but that wasn't why I did Salvia. I don't remember much from the experience (probably alcohol) but I do remember being frightened by an evil presence and also elated from a good presence. I felt many "live" plants growing at a quick speed and wrapping around my body.
truekimbo2 wrote:azen i get the same thing. i know its kind of scarey but if you ignore it, it should go mostly away within a week. redgreenvines mentioned something similar so there are a couple poeple that get like that.
for me what happens is time gets super fast and my visual field gets super clear and at the same time starts cycling which patterns i'm paying attention to at high speed (don't know how better to put it, feels like i'm seeing how my brain puts together all the mental concepts coming from my visual field), but i kind of lose my ability to think. then the depersonalization kicks in and de-realization kind of starts to fade in.
i would say if you want to get back to normal quicker do not use any substances, even weed and alchohol.
from whats happened to me it seems the only danger is of panicing. also for me not trying to focus on anything helps, just doing stuff while pretending i am normal works while focusing on my breath or body just makes it worse. i'm sure its a somewhat individual reaction. anyways, yeah just no that those effects appear to be semi-normal, and that it does go away.
Azen, 3 years later, wrote:I've had a few people ask me about updating this thread, and I think now is a good time.
Whatever site, research study, or just random people saying that certain drugs are harmless, I'm here to disagree. Almost 3 years later and some symptoms have gone, but some are more pronounced.
My visual disturbances have gone away mostly, but I still see salvia patterns and especially when I get short naps (15-45 min). When I wake up, I get that odd feeling again for about an hour or so.
I was very shaky, writing horribly, and had a new not so good outlook on life after my last salvia trip. These things are permanent. My ability to write has diminished significantly, and continues to get worse. I can't make certain patterns when I write, like a circular pattern or change from circular to straight writing, and sometimes can't even write a straight line. For example, when I'm writing the letter B, when switching from the circular part of the letter to straight part, I have a terrible time doing it. My hand won't do what my brain is telling it to do, if that makes any sense.
The shakiness hasn't gone away, and has actually gotten worse. I work in a lab and need fine motor movements in my work, and I might have to quit my job because even holding one hand with the other when I do fine motor work is impossible sometimes.
I was depressed before this whole situation, but I have a new completely new depressed outlook on life. I've tried diet, exercise, all kinds of things but this hasn't changed. I feel like I just exist and am waiting to grow old and die. That's all I feel. I lost the ability to love. I'm completely indifferent to everything and everyone, even close family members. Even my 4 year old daughter, for fuck's sake.
This is not coincidence, it happened right after my last salvia trip and salvia is the cause. I've been to neurologists that tell me one after another that nothing is wrong. MRI shows nothing. *shrug*
Just a gentle reminder to those who wish to dive into the salvia universe!
crazyskateboarding wrote:i have had this same effect...but i did 100X salvia and im not sure if it was directly the salvia of if it was cuz i first tired pot like 3-4 weeks later and had a very bad panic attack...ether way im not myself now. i do get better days than others though...and i do notice trying to find stuff to distract me from it helps like friends, video games, movies etc. i was feeling ok for 3-4 days now and then i filmed with a video camera and im not sure what happened but it came back for a bit. anyway best of luck to you glad to hear in some ways im not the only one this happened to.
salvia-induced DP[http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/26561-salvia-induced-dp/]
sekhmet wrote:Been suffering from DP/DR for the past 8 months. I'm not a drug user, but I took a whiff of 7x salvia during orientation right before my first year of grad school started along with a bunch of other students. I was tripping balls for 45 minutes while everyone was looking at me with a confused look after their 2 minute trips. Never came out of that dreamland and I've been sleepwalking ever since. On top of that somehow my brain chemistry got so screwed up I plummeted into clinical depression and didn't have the energy to walk for more than 5 meters. I'm at a very prestigious school for my field- and this thing totally ruined all my ambitions and research plans- not to mention my usually chatty and lighthearted personality got wiped away.
Anyway, I took 25mg of sertraline for a month and a half to take away the clinical depression (small dose, but more didn't do any good) but that didn't do anything for the DP/DR as predicted. It's been very very very slowly fading away these past months but the dissociation has still taken a toll on my life;.. grad school is hard enough without something like that. If it doesn't go away soon, I'll have to quit a promising academic career.
These past couple of months I've been taking 150 mg of naltrexone, and that greatly improved my standard of life- prolly 20 percent DP improvement- but its still not enough.
Anyway, it's interesting to note that for the year prior to DP, I was really overworked and burnt out from family/school/friend life and had at least mild anhedonia. Dynorphins are implicated both in chronic stress and anhedonia- and maybe salvia, another kappa opioid agonist, was the tipping point as a kind of "artificial chronic stress." (I guess DP was my reward for hard work). Hopefully KOR antagonists will come out and may be the answer for a lot of people..
strangeways wrote:I think mine was salvia induced too, but I smoked a lot, and I mean A LOT of 80x out of a gravity bong. But do you think its possible it lasted so long because you had a panic attack during the trip? That's what I'm convinced it was for me because mine lasted about and hour too.
...I think my dr/dp was caused from salvia that time, I felt like I never completely stopped tripping. I've always had a panic disorder though. So I just figured it could be linked. I wasn't stressed when I was smoking it but during the trip I had a point where I couldn't see or hear anything but weird fake world and a voice saying I was stuck this way forever. But on a positive note my dr/dp did go away after about a year. But about six months ago I had a really bad panic attack and it came back in full force.
Scary Lasting after effects[http://www.entheogen.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13519]
d11 wrote:I would appreciate any insight into this please. I've smoked 15x twice. Once a month ago and once two weeks ago. Neither time did I experience a full 'breakthrough', nor did I want too. I was interested in it for the post experience mood elevating properties many users report... Second time after doing the hit, within seconds I experienced acute panic, racing heart, a huge sense of shock, and acute depersonalization. It was as though I was seeing through 'the eyes' of a seperate conscious entity that had taken up simultaneous residency inside my head. there were no vivid hallucinations but this universe became less real
I felt truly crazy. For several minutes I just sat entranced and in misery and fear. My sitter friend had no idea of how anxious I was but his presence, a good and trusted friend, made me 'paranoid.' 15 minutes later I was shaken but ok.
The problems kicked in two days later when I woke feeling like I was tripping. This is to say feeling the same depersonalization, as though i didn't fully inhabit my body. This was accompanied by severe anxiety and fear of going outside. I had errands I needed to do and managed to get through them in a state of real fear. This lasted several hours.
Ten days have passed. There have been continuing bursts of anxiety though less extreme. What worries me is the continual subtle persistance that I am different. My memory seems ok but there is a sense of being disconnected to my normal sense of identity. I used to take naps and now I feel to anxious and alert, like I switched on some brain circuitry that's always running in the background. I can still read and concentrate but that seems somewhat impaired as I am distracted by this 'alien' sensibility.... No fool like an old fool...I'm not a kid for sure. Maybe thiis psychoactive triggered a latent schizophrenia....I hope not. I don't here voices or see anything out of the ordinary. It's just like I switched something on that won't fully go away... All it seemed to teach me is a new respect for normal waking consciousness, which at the moment seems compromised...and that is scaring me.
dvader wrote: i had 10 or so experiences and the last one was very rough.
it was about 2 months + before everything was back to 100% normal..
each week will get better.
Salvia - The day after[http://www.entheogen.com/forum/showthread.php?t=15373]
Creamsoda wrote:Has anyone felt anything that sounds like Depersonalization or Derealization for short period after an intense salvia trip? I remember the day after one of mine I felt the way they describe these sensations pretty badly. I though maybe that I hadn't eaten much that day and I was trying to shake it off but it was pretty persistent for a while. Finally wore off by the end of the night
d11 wrote:One main reason I'm disliked here is because I contend that these changes are permanent. You will never be rid of them. In time you will ajust to it, because what choice do you have? But from now on, you are no longer who you were. You have rearranged something chemically inside you so that all previous definitions and perceptions of this earth as a solid thing..that life is over.
This is the gift of just one salvia experience. People try to find some good in the permanent perceptual changes, and maybe for them it's good to have performed auto-brain surgery.
There is no other substamce on earth that does not allow you to return to who you were after using it. Welcome to the club. This is what the salesman and afficiados won't tell you in simple unvarnished language.
so what do you think about this?![http://www.entheogen.com/forum/showthread.php?t=24588]
Dioxippus wrote:Even if Salvia does cause depersonalization, I don't see how it could be permanent. I've experienced some symptoms of depersonalization after many heavy trips on Salvia, but they were short-lived. I've definitely never experienced anything like schizophrenia from it. I was severely depressed in the past as well and Salvia really helped me lift myself out of it. I would trade that crushing depression for a little short-lived DP any day.
6 days and still feel effects[http://www.entheogen.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16923]
mat369 wrote:iv taken salvia twice x12. the 1st time with a couple of friends. we all had a gd experiance and had no after effects. however, a couple of weeks later(6 days ago) me and a friend decided to finish the rest off. he had a long deep trip and came out of it relaxed. i however didnt have a trip, insted went into a dreamy feeling that can only b explained as having a fog hovering over my brain. 6 days have passed and this feeling will not leave! im getting anxiety and small panic attacks im on the point of thinking im cazy. Sometimes i cant tlk properly and everything feels like a dream. I feel im going to wake up any minuet and find out this is a horrible nightmare. but im not dreaming. iv taken alot of different drugs in my life but nothing has effected me in this way. Salvia definatly triggered how i am feeling. Its like im between worlds, the reality and sally.
iv tryed to explain exactly how i am feeling sorry if it sounds repetitive or stupid but its hard to think straight.
im not telling this to scare people and am deffinatly not lying. just looking for an answer to get me out of this state!
people have got to relise that salvia can effect u in different ways in the long term aswell as short... as we all know it hasnt had much studies on it and lets face it... how many hallucinogens do u know that dont cause harm? lsd was 1st brought out as mediciene(im sure il b corrected) and even cocaine was sold as a anti depressent at 1st... just as salvia is sold as a meditive suppliment...the sellers dont give a shit about who buys it! its a wa of making cash!
sorry to be coming on very negative but... the way im feeling off this 'plant extract' has made me lose all respect for it! its messed my head up and possibly ruined my brain forever as far as i know! every nite i go to bed hoping to wake up 'normal' but it dosnt happen!
Depersonalization/Derealization[http://www.entheogen.com/forum/showthread.php?t=19805]
mat369 wrote:Some of you may remember me from april of this year.
I came on saying i thought salvia has stole my mind and was causing me to question my sanity. I was a complete mess and really thought salvia had fried my brain, but this was not the case!
After a long time of feeling alone and confused i found out i have Derealization. A form of anxiety brought on by variouis different reasons. One of which is using psychedelics.
Derealisation
A change in an individual's experience of the environment, where the world around him/her feels unreal and unfamiliar.
Terms commonly used to describe the symptoms and sensations of derealisation:
spaciness
like looking through a gray veil
a sensory fog
spaced-out
being trapped in a glass bell jar
in a goldfish bowl
behind glass
in a Disney-world dream state
withdrawn
feeling cut off or distant from the immediate surroundings
like being a spectator at some strange and meaningless game
objects appear diminished in size
flat
dream-like
cartoon-like
artificial; objects appear to be unsolid, to breathe, or to shimmer
"as if my head were inside a Coke bottle and I'm viewing the world through the thick glass at the bottom
This is how i feel prety much all of the time. At times it gets real difficult but now i know whats wrong it really reduces the anxiety.
Im not posting to say don't do salvia because you will get this(been there done that)
But mostly just a general update because i kind of just disapeared... Anyway thats all really. Thought id give an update.
"The Road to Recovery" and why you shouldn't be scared of it![http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/26921-the-road-to-recovery-and-why-you-shouldnt-be-scared-of-it/]
Luciiz wrote:I got DP/DR about 2.5 years ago after cannabis/salvia consumption. It hit me like a brick wall after that salvia trip. Suddenly, every thing was different. As a side note, what I saw on that salvia trip was an athlete shape in the bushes, distinctly feeling like I was the "Salad Man" - my body felt weak and frail. Not a very nice trip at all. I'll get to what these mean later. And that's made for a painful last 2 years. I just couldn't cope... [Goes on to say that after two years he adopted a drastically healthier diet and is seeing consistent improvement in symptoms]
Cure for my derealization?[http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/15072-cure-for-my-derealization/]
Luciiz wrote:Well I don't want to make a massive post, so here's the gist of my story
- Did salvia about the beginning of September, have had derealization (not depersonalization) ever since, and don't know why. This happened straight away and has barely stopped in intensity.
- Went to doctors, told her about it - she gave me a confused look and told me to get some blood tests done. Today I find out there's nothing wrong with my blood... [Goes on to wonder if KOR antagonists might reverse symptoms]
noname wrote:Im a 21 years old french man , and im new on this board . I ve always liked to experiment drugs (never abusing).
I' ve experiment Salvia 3 years ago , and the result was a dp/dr state , which stay for approximately 6 month (of hell). Next I have partially recovered , i was able to live without anxiety and my dp/dr have reduced in intensity.
But the bad thing is that I've re-experiment Salvia at beginning of September (as you) : just before I' ve had my license in Computer Science , I was on holydays , was on party , smoke joints , feel fine and want to re-experiment this drugs (I very like the strange trip induced from salvia) ...
And now im fucked , the DP/DR has flare up
, and I experiment , as 3 years ago , sligth visual disturbance (but I dont know if its a very minor case of HPPD or just derealization) . Yes I know it' s very (very very very) stupid , and I will never take anymore Salvia .
The AMAZING thing is that the two times Ive just smoke leaves and have a "small" trip , not "ego dissociation" , not the "forget that i've smoked salvia" effect , not big visual effect or anything . Just very sligth visuals distortion , DP/DR , and a nice sligth "transe state" , which I very like. Just this trip throws DP/DR... Sorry for my fault in english
I need your help guys, please.[http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/21463-i-need-your-help-guys-please/]
chemicalaffinity wrote:In March of 2008 I smoked a high concentration of Salvia, looking for a spiritual religious experience. Instead it was a brainf*%$k. I became a two dimensional object, folding in on my self a 1000 times a second. In this trip, there was no such thing as life and everything that I knew and loved was a dream. It was all fake. When I awoke from the trip, for about 20 seconds, I didn't know who I was, who my sitter was, and where I was. It was very traumatizing for me.
Ever since that day, reality has seemed like a dream, and that trip was the true reality. I would often have panic attacks and feel like I was going to just melt back into that trip, the "true reality". Now everything that I do is no longer enjoyable, because the DR just invades it, and taints it's beauty. I see people living their lives, having conversations, getting drunk, having a good time and I feel left out because I know that I'm not normal psychologically anymore... I get jealous and wish I could go back in time, and throw that Salvia in the garbage instead of smoking it. I can't even have a conversation without zoning out for half a second while that person is talking to me. After I zone out for that half second the rest of the conversation seems so insignificant, and my mind concentrates on my vision. My eyes focus super hard on the person I'm conversing with, then I have to struggle to listen to what he's saying and listen to my mind saying "don't freak out, don't make a fool of yourself".
My dreams have become super vivid, often waking me up several times a night. After waking from some of these dreams I feel the anxiety kicking in and if I don't do my best to control it, it would most likely develop into another anxiety attack. Sometimes I'm even afraid to go to sleep because of the possibility of a super vivid dream.
My life has become a living a nightmare.
I am fortunate that I have, what I believe, a strong mind - often thinking positive thoughts to myself when anxiety and DR kick in. But I feel like my mind is getting a bit exhausted from this constant battle with DR. [Note: This was posted in May 2010, so the problem has persisted for over two years]