A few weeks ago
abstract: ingestion of dry powdered rue led to 30 hours of nausea, seems to stick to intestines. Perceived a weak mental experience at the time but had a noticeable healing effect.
+0 thinking i would be really smart and avoid that bad rue taste i filled 8 gelcaps with 3g of rue and swallow them with little water
+30min / stoned feeling but different from mj, +100mg dmt freebase in cap
+1h / still only the stoned feeling, + some water +150mg dmt freebase in cap
+80min / nausea increasing
+100min / nausea really strong, cant barely focus on anything else. Drink some more water and go to bathroom to heave, but nothing comes out. Feel like crap from the nausea. Wish i hadn't been so smart to begin with.
+XXX / min cant keep track of time as the nausea is really bad. drink water and puke some brownish water out as well as some dmt, maybe all of it. Then lie down.
In the bed on my back arms stretched out. Feeling unwell, nauseated, stoned, unsatisfied with the trip and disappointed by my loosing of dmt. Attempt to relax and intend on healing, make the best out of it.
Lying there i feel a weak but for me typical dmt response. Neck up a pressure in a energypathway. Sleep paralasis is noticable but not very strong. I decide to go into it and my body gets stiffer as i drift into what seems meaningless jitter of dreamlike pictures.
Much like when i go to sleep usually, just all kinds of normal jitter.
Now, i cant know for sure if i just imagined this as it felt somehow like i could influence it but it also happened by itself, was a bit out of it with the stonyness and the nausea. So im not sure if the following is imagined, no idea if real or not or in between.
Some being, fuzzy but i think it was female, flying around in lotus position hovers over or near my bed. I accept all healing.
Then somehow it transfers some rays to my heart. In the end i get surrounded in some kind of long egg sphere around my body. Some protection kind of thing.
While contemplating on that sphere and the space it envelops i drift away again in this jitter kind of meaningless dreampieces until i see a house near a forest where i spend a significant amount of time going through strong emotional states. Said house had some meaning to me in many ways.
Anyways, as i see the house i see a huge monster flying down on the roof of the house and engulfing the whole house with its wings.
Really something i did not imagine myself, but i cant make any sense of it. Never have seen such a monster, although it looks awesome
and evil to the bone.
Never ever realized that house could have anything evil to it. Nor what i experienced there.
anyways the vision faded and again i had this fuzzy dreams like you get just before you fall asleep.
Eventually, dint watch the time nor can i say how much has passed, i got bored of it and stood up to get rid of the nausea.
Drinking some more water and attempting to purge. Surprisingly, although i was mostly dry heaving and spitting i saw legions of miniature monsters that looked exactly the same as the one around the house leaving my mouth and running away in all directions. Puzzled me a bit
Feeling much better but very stoned now, i attempted to read a bit and fell asleep.
Next day i purged some more and finally got rid of the nausea.
Puzzled by the monster and its miniatures leaving me.
Only after a few days i realize that some underlying long held emotional clutch has finally left me. Which was related to a person i with which i spend some sensitive time in that house.
Strangely enough i never thought of that person as evil when i met her. Only a couple months later when i invited this person into my now different life, living with her far away from said house, where she pulled off ripping my dreams out of reach for me while taking off with my buisiness partner and my money.
what the fuck, she was really lovely and looked like a supermodel when i met her
On a side note, i do not recommend taking rue powder in capsules as it seems to stick to intestine walls making it hard to purge out.
Dint know rue could be such a catalyst for healing, not at all just the poor mans caapi as i previously thought of it. Although i will use the rest of it to make harmalas, cant stand the smell anymore.
blessed be all forms of intelligence