Hi there

I have taken a substantial hiatus from DMT due to a distressing trip (my third trip, to be precise...I am a spice neophyte!). In short, I have been slowly digesting, reintegrating, and reflecting on this particular experience and my ultimate motives/intentions for approaching the substance. Feeling that I am now in a place, mentally and physically, to resume my interaction with the compound, I simply want to gauge others' sentiments regarding a "re-entry" to the DMT atmosphere. Perhaps this is a useless endeavor, but oh well...I find that voicing my intentions grants me some peace of mind at least

In this light, I think I'm going to start with a very low dose (8-10 mg...perhaps even 5 mg). What do you think about this approach? Do you find it beneficial? I'm not accustomed to DMT in such low doses...

If you don't mind my asking, could you say a little more about what made the last trip negative?

My other question is what (if any) other psychedelics have you done since the last DMT trip? If none, it could be usefull to take a little MDMA or psylocibin and contemplate the when and how of the return.

Some food for thought: taking too little could wind up being more difficult for you than taking an effective dose. With too little you may have enough of a foot in the sober plane to resist the pull of the blast-off, thus putting yourself in a bit of a torn place. My bias would be to pack an effective dose and go for it.

But that's just my style.

What I've noticed about taking extended breaks with the experience can lead to drastic transformations in the experience as your mind has had time to integrate it. Just make sure if you decide to resume work with the molecule, that you should have a good set/setting (strive to have better ones than you did last time), learn to release control and go with the flow and to realize exactly what it was about the last experience that made you so depressed and have you resolved/do you plan on resolving that issue (in the near future)?

I don't deem the last trip as "negative"; the word seems to connote an absence of value, which is definitely not the case. Rather, it was existentially distressing to the point of terror. This distress was the culmination of several factors, the most significant being an improper setting and mindset. I am ashamed to say that I approached the trip fully cognizant of my flawed environment, and I brashly proceeded. I will spare the specifics , but, as you might know, I was taught a difficult lesson!

Basically, due to the many unsettling aspects of my setting in combination with a rather audacious mindset, the blastoff was unbelievably terrifying and unsettling. Once I realized the extent of my error, I attempted a futile, desperate struggle to maintain composure (i.e. my egotistical consciousness resisted dissolution), only to enter the trance with the belief that I had a.) physically deceased or b.) transcended my ego to a point of permanent tripping. To entertain this notion of the ego further (forgive me if I use the term incorrectly), I have struggled for most of my life to solidify an identity. Built upon such frail and capricious foundations, my ego could not bear its rapid departure during blastoff. Am I making sense?

Regarding other psychedelic use, I recently participated in an extremely beneficial LSD session. Again, I will not traverse into the realm of details, but I have truly matured in a most profound way upon subsequent reflection. I'm finally facing my inner-demons, so to speak, and learning methods to subvert their undeniably paralyzing interference with my life/joys/ambitions.

That's good to hear that you've been able to do some positive self reflection after this distressing trip. Sometimes it's best to start slow after a bad trip and build up your confidence a little bit at a time instead of jumping right back in at the deep end.

I had a rough DMT trip about a year ago where I wasn't in a proper set (smoking it with a "recreational" attitude) or setting (college dorm). I met a square entity with a face that blocked my view of this colorful geometric world I entered and explicitly told me I wasn't ready to see what "they" had to show me. Ever since then I've been "banned" from the DMT headspace. Whenever I'd try to smoke the spice, even large hits, I'd get some sort of psychic block that prevented me from experiencing anything other than minor visuals. After many months and a few positive shroom/cactus trips, I had built up more confidence and could re-enter the dmt headspace when I took small hits. Now a year later, I'm going to try my first breakthrough dose this weekend, with a much more appropriate setting of course.

The point is, you could probably jump right back in at the deep end with a high dose, but it's a bit risky and unnecessary. I think you have a good idea of trying a medium-low dose (15mg) as a sort of primer to test out your new setting before going all the way out there. If you can experience a light trip without a whole lot of mental resistance, that's a good sign that you're ready to blast off again.

After this experience (almost 9 months ago), I’ve found it very hard to take a full breakthrough dose. I had been biding my time with moderate pharma experiences and sub-breakthrough smoked doses until about 2 weeks ago, when I had a moderate breakthrough. Yay!

I feel I’m due (maybe overdue) for a deep breakthrough. I can relate to your difficulty – after a “challenging” experience, lots of questions are brought to mind, not the least of which is “why am I doing this in the first place?”

Anyhow, taking lower doses is a good way to ease back into it. And for me, it’s important to take those doses more frequently (which I haven’t been doing). It seems the fear/hesitation only grows as time goes by.

I also must say that even my most difficult experiences were, in hindsight, actually quite wonderful and beautiful. It wasn’t the content of the experiences that was a problem, but rather my reaction to them. I try to remind myself of this regularly.

Seconded. Also, Pandora recently described the ~10mg range as a "dmt handshake" which I liked.
best wishes for your returns,
L