Hello (:

First of all I would like to say that I have almost been moved to tears by the outstanding attitude this community embodies, and thus have decided that you may be able to offer me guidance pertaining to the crossroad I am at. My father informed me that he may be doing a pure DMT extract in the near future, and has offered to share the experience with me. Now, my father is a very competent organic chemist (university education) who I can trust to do a skilled extraction and has had extensive experience with producing and using psychoactive substances in the past (most notably large doses of psilocybin mushrooms and veterinary grade intravenous ketamine) although has had no encounters with DMT. However, I have had a very limited experience with psychoactives, including: alcohol, cannabis, JWH-018, a small amount of intravenous mephedrone (which was a singular occasion), and also prescribed pharmaceuticals (SSRIs) which I will explain further on. I have been very interested for a long time in exploring the effects of hallucinogenic substances but have been set back by a number of issues, which is what I have come here to discuss.

Firstly are a couple of difficulties I have had with cannabis, one being (what I felt to be) a panic attack. I have problems telling people about these experiences because there appears to be a stigma surrounding "having psychological issues with cannabis" that seems to provoke some people into judging your mental competency and willpower. Although I do enjoy cannabis as a means of enhancing my senses (eating, listening to music, etc), I've never felt the relaxed "melt into the couch" sensation that many rave about, contrarily I tend to feel 'edgy' and generally uncomfortable. There have been occasions where I have been quite paranoid, one such event culminating in the aforementioned panic attack. There are a few themes I have pinpointed that spark my occasional bouts of paranoia; one being a habit I have to question all the elements of reality (such as, how can we define truth) and my dumbfounded curiosity at the strangeness and absurdity of everything. Accompanying this I also sometimes try to imagine the intensity of say, LSD, which can cause me distress in an inebriated state. The largest factor, however, is a fear I have of arousing a dormant mental illness that I am not aware of (I'll go into detail on the stem of this later). When under the effect of cannabis, the three of these thoughts combined can result in some very unsettling 'highs'.

Now I'll give a brief history of my psychological state, as with that of my relatives in the hope that it will aid in the formation of any advice I may be offered. 2 years ago I was quite depressed by strong existential feelings of worthlessness and 'the human condition', in retrospect I felt this coincided with an 'awakening', so to say, of self awareness and that of other people's awareness of me. For this my parents sent me to a psychiatrist where I was prescribed an anti-depressant (20mg daily, although I cannot remember which one specifically) and an anti-psychotic (low dose, invega). I have since discontinued use and generally feel more content with my state of being than I ever have. There seems to be a trend on my mother's line for depression (which she suffered herself, as did her mother, and so on). Last year both my parents were inflicted by multiple episodes of drug induced psychosis caused be a debilitating and out of control stimulant addiction (research chemicals). For me this was a very traumatic experience, and hence I have formed a fear of developing a psychotic illness myself (as I previously mentioned), not for my sake of "sanity", but more so how I have seen it affect those close to the afflicted person. Also, to give a complete view of the mental history of my family, my great grandfather on my father's side developed dementia at a late age.

This brings me to the crux of my post, why am I considering trying DMT in the first place? And do I think I am ready for such a leap? Before my father suggested the idea of me taking it with him, I had for quite some time sadly resigned that I would never be able to safely experiment with hallucinogens due to my troubles with cannabis. On the other hand, the possible situation is very attractive to me; taking a low dose of DMT in the safety of my father's house with him as a sitter. The short duration of DMT is also a comforting thought. I am compelled to try DMT because of my curious nature; not only with substances, but with the universe itself (and whatever that includes). I'm not looking to find the answers to life, or a cliched profound state of well being, instead I wish to stare selflessly into the abyss, accepting the pain, happiness, humility, or whatever unclassifiable feelings, thoughts, or visions that may confront me. Am I ready for such a gigantic bound? A possibly life altering experience? I'm not sure if anyone could possibly answer this affirmatively with conviction until they have been brought right to the edge of the DMT experience.

I'm very sorry this has been such a wall of text, but I wanted to give as much information as possible so that I may receive the best guidance as possible. Are my issues with cannabis a sure sign that this is not for me? Does my condition sound as if I may have an affinity towards developing a mental illness? I understand that what I am asking is of a very personal nature, and that it is difficult to give an opinion on such a thing, but I humbly appeal for you to give me any thoughts and feedback you can. Thank you so very much for reading this.

i love avacados!!!!!


"Are my issues with cannabis a sure sign that this is not for me? Does my condition sound as if I may have an affinity towards developing a mental illness?"

no, not at all. It sounds like typical weed paranoia actually. Cannabis is completely different from dmt. I've known many who get panic attacks from marijuana often, but can handle high doses of psychedelics like lsd, dmt, and mushrooms just fine. We are all wired differently and have myriad relationships with these plants/substances.

I tend to trip very hard when i smoke weed, and at first this was always very rough and discombobulating..especially the overhanging question of 'why have i never heard of anyone else getting these affects?! am i schizophrenic or something?!!'. i would literally hallucinate for hours and hours when my tolerance was down. Eventually after continual usage i learned to work with it more productively and bypass the paranoia.. but it still creeps up often, and smoking it while on other psychedelics is like russian roulette for me. I use it a few times a week or less now, and usually just for introspection, meditation, reading, writing, guitar, yoga, ect..i get much more out of it this way. That said, dmt is completely different. i dont think marijuana paranoia will translates into a sure chance of problems with dmt. They are just sooo different.

I think you'll be fine. You seem to really have the a great attitude about it and your set/setting, (with your own dad as sitter/chemist!*awesome!) couldn't be better. I don't think anyone is ever really ready for dmt

good luck bro

Hi Avocado!

Sorry to hear that there are stories of depression and dementia in your family. Lots of issues like that in my step family...

About cannabis, it surely isn't unusual to get some paranoia, but given the stories in your family, it might be wise to simply stay clear from weed. Two close friends, regular smokers, had acute schizophrenic delirium crisis. Of course it's not just the weed, because they also have family members with stories of mental illnesses, and other factors play in, but still, the weed surely didn't help. They are absolutely forbidden to smoke now, since it would multiply the chances of a relapse. And today's weed can be so strong...

As for DMT, easing in with very low doses should help you keep cool. There's no rush, and more isn't always better... Nature is also a very nice place to partake, plants and fresh air are very soothing. Also Changa is usually "smoother" than pure Spice.

Let us know how things go!

It's true, the feelings you mentioned regarding cannabis are not uncommon whatsoever. In fact, I found that DMT can help one get over those feelings. However, contraversely, DMT can lead one to ask its own uncomfortably deep questions.

I see no reason why you shouldn't try DMT, given the circumstances. But it is possible that DMT could bring up some of the feelings which in your past you have associated with mental illness. It is a possibility, HARDLY a certainty.
Being outside will help this a lot, if it is a problem. And I highly recommend that you try both freebase DMT and changa, as one may suit you better than the other in this regard.

Hello again!

Thank you for all your comments! I'll be sure to keep them in my mind as I make my decision.



I agree Rooftop, from my previous experiences it may not be a good idea for me to smoke cannabis at all. I'd like to add that before the issues my parents had, the few times I smoked cannabis I never encountered any problems. This leads me to wonder if my bouts of paranoia are the result of a psychological trauma that I need to intrepidly face rather than something embedded in my brain chemistry.



Yes, the plan was to start at 5mg pure DMT (a threshold dosage from what I have read) then move up in increments of 5mg as we feel appropriate. When you say that Changa is smoother than Spice, do you mean the smoking process or the general trip? I've always wondered, is the nickname Spice a reference to the substance in Frank Herbert's Dune?

A lot of people speak of stepping stones, so to say, when it comes to exploring psychedelics. A linear ladder starting with, for example; cannabis, moving to 2c-b/mdma, then mushrooms/lsd, and finally dmt/saliva/whatever. I don't know where this idea has come from, but what are your opinions on this? Also I'm very interested in reading any opinions of those who think I should not start experimenting with DMT.

Lastly, how can I gain rights to being able to freely post on all the forums? I don't know anything so I doubt I can provide much to the community to prove any sort of merit, but I would like the liberty of being able to post my ignorant opinion in certain discussions and subsequently learning something.

Good idea about slowly increasing dosage.
By smoother, I mean that people usually find that the effect comes on progressively, more gently, and find it easier to relax and process what is happening. Lots of interesting experience reports and comparisons between pure Spice and Changa to be found on the Nexus, especially in the Changa subforum.
As for the nickname Spice, someone else will have to answer this one.


Well, for someone who never tried psychedelics, a high dose of DMT might really be way too much of a surprise... But if that someone instead starts with small doses as you mentionned above, it could well be the ideal substance because of the short duration. I personnaly consider it as a tool of choice for psychedelic initiation. In small doses that is.



I don't think there's any shortcuts, keep posting and it will come. Those who get very rapidly promoted are usually those who take the time to write a fairly long and sincere introduction essay. Your above post is imo better than most intro essays, but I think it's in the wrong subforum to be noticed as such.
Cheers!

Hi Avacado!

I made a thread when I joined asking for advice on a first psychedelic here. There are a lot of replies on this, and the most common to try first were mushrooms followed by mescaline. Others simply said you can't prepare for DMT so it makes little odds what others you try first.

I have had a similar uncomfortable edgy feeling on the few occasions I've used cannabis and remember saying at the time to my friends, "Why would anyone want to feel like this? How can people enjoy this?" I haven't tried DMT yet though so I couldn't say if I react the same using it.