Where are we going..where did we come from..where are we now?..that point we call infinity..the endless dance of the stars..what is it that binds us?..what is it that unwinds us?..is anything pre-determined, or is the future forever cast aside to be rearranged in that moment we call present?..Who or what is it that is truely telling this story..is the Poet simply a puppet, a master mason of creation..or both and neither at the same time..

We are not what we think we are..yet what our thoughts conceal is that which defines us in the moment..for we are the masters of our own realities, the writers of our own cosmic script.

Can the soul of a single being be confined, defined by the relationship that manifests within its relation to itself alone?..are we simply here for a moment and nothing more..or is there something bigger?

Each and every single being in this entire thing we call "eveything" is and always will be enternal..none of you will ever truely die...yet we all will..and we all will live on, all the same. I am and will always be you, naturally as you are me. There is no end..this thing..it never ever ends..EVER. There are only cycles, cycles upon cycles of transferance and transformation..a symphony of upgrades, downloads and convergences..

I began about 8 days ago with a cup of ayahuasca is the early afternoon, around 3pm. I had nothing to do and the time felt right..so I drank..what was to come has turned into a week that upon reflection, has left me dumbfounded.

The ayahuasa was light..maybe 20-25g of vine with an eyeballed ammount of mimosa, I gave up measuring and just sort of throw together that I feel these days..not a brew heavy on the light by any means. Either way I could feel the mimosa only 5 minutes after drinking..I was ecstatic..I sat listening to trance music for a good 30 minutes until suddenly the experince seemed to die down..I thought that that was gunna be it, a short little peak that hit real fast..I went and ate some fruit, and then headed outside to water my salvia plants and look at the patches of mushrooms growing in the grass..

Suddenly I felt sick, nauseated and exhausted..mildy confused..not really any other effects I associate with ayahuasca other than the sickness..must hav beent he fruit I ate that reactivated the brew..I went to lay down and put my 2 crystals on my chakra points..amethyst on my pineal area and quartz on my heart..played some trance music and got very very comfortabl and ecstatic..I became extremely relaxed and somehow passed out into the caapi dreams..

The first sequence was about merging..the merging of souls..but it was all very..rupert sheldrake morphogenetic fieldish..this is going to be very very hard to explain but It came like a download and a vision at the same time..all in the time frame of maybe 15 seconds..I saw and experienced 2 personalities merge, I saw their minds, everthing that made them an individual within the species, their "egos" literally merged..then there was just this sort of dual faced person..this was all very strange..but there was information that came along with it, at light speed jsut downloaded itno me about how it all works.that part I cant really explain in a post like this..

I sat up, thinking about what had just happened in the small ammoung of time that coudlnt have been more than 2 or 3 minutes that I was in that zoned out, in between sleep state..I lay back down to think about it..

Again I pass out into a semi unconcious state without even realizing it..its like those dreams that you can have on the ede of consciousness, yet distinct in their meaningfullness and realness..people experienced with taking caapi and laying down will probabily know what I mean..

So I am back in this dreamy experience, and I am having these sort of disembodied thoughts about reincarnation and morphology..all of a sudden I am "shown" in another vision completewith download how reincarnation really works. Reincarnation IS real..but not at all on the level most people assume. Its not about each person living a specific set of lives that are inherant to only that individual etc..its WAYYYY more complex than that.

Now this all went down in a sort of hyper-speed download, not in a normal sense of time at all..this all transpired in what was probabily like 8 seconds. There was me. There was everything I had done in my life. There was everything I wont do in my life. There was everything I wanted to do in my life but wont do because of time..becasue "I" will die. There was everything that my ancestors had done, and everything they had not done, some of which has now been acomplished through me. There was another woman..my wife or girlfriend(who I have never seen). There was everything that she is, comprised of everything all of her ancestors(direct relatives) have accomplished..naturally as everything our ancestors before us have done, everything they are is organized into these fields of information, like Sheldrake has theororized, and that is what we become..a conglomerate of what came before us..our ancestors ARE alive today, THEY ARE US.

So me and this women, we procreated. We merged and made love. We had a daughter. I saw my daughter(who I dont have). I WAS my daughter, my wife(who i dont have) was my daughter as well..and so was everysingle lifeform that was an ancestor to the 2 of us, some much much much more distant in theyre relation of course, as they are what made up me and my wife..me and my wife were at the head of the collective field that created us, and will go on creating us again and again, so in a *very* simplified way our daughter was the essenc of the 2 of us instilled into one.

You see..we ARE multidimensional..we fraction ourselves like that all the time. When we have children, we are born again..all of the information that is us is transferred into them..yet the "ego" is rebooted, so the memory, that we call "me, I, us" etc is not there..and this is essentail so that we go on to do newer and more novel things..to keep progressing.

Our parents are really just split versions of us..they are the yin and the yang to the yinyang that is us..and we will later become one side, the yin or the yang to our children..it just goes on like this forever..this is essential for our progression as we are always acumulating information as an individual into the morphic field and then merging with another accumulation to keep things new..

Everything is like this. All life reincarnates this way..If you could go back to the souce(which makes no sense,you cant go back to source within infinity, but we are using english so humour me) you would see that same thing that I will call "spirit" or "god" is really what is runnign through everything, reincarnating over and over again..We never die, we are forever eternal. Ego will fall away, and begin again.. but that is essentail, and its nothing to fear.

So that all happens in about 8 seconds..I come out of it to the sound of my phone ringing..I sit up in my bad and look around..everything is normal..imnot even really feeling the brew at all anymore, jsut a very light euphoria and clear head..but blown away by what just happened.

Now, I dont care how out there Rupert Sheldrakes theories are..he is on to something and I have a ton of respect for that guy..He is a free thinking and makes alot of sense..his theories really do fll a gap I dont see being filled otherwise. Makes a hell of alot more sense than the typcial new age ideas people put out there on reincarnation..fanticizing that they were John lennon or the pope in some previous life..in reality our past lives comprise of us being many many many people at the same time..many of them still alive today, as well as living future lives simultaniousily..all the way to us actaully being every single being is all existance at some level..its all about the levels and angles of integration.

I always had ideas on unity and reincarnation etc that mirrored this but this was like, confrmation of all that..I actaully experienced the transferance of my "information" up through my ancestors, through me and into my daughter, being my daughter and being "me" seeing my daughter through my eyes simultaniousily. She was her own being, yet she was also me..like some sort of dimensional fractaling was going on.

So that blew my mind.

The next day I could not stop thinking about the implications of all this. What it means to be eternal, to know that I well never truely die in the way we think of death..the information that I call "I" is unique..but it will go on to be integrated into other forms.

I smoked changa that day..sat in meditation thinking about it all and became fractals of energy, absorbed into the abyss of information that each individual and the entire human race and all the universe is..

That night I had a dream. I was with Terence Mckenna and community of a sort of gaian-trans-humanists and we were building a machine..it was like something out of hyperspace..Ternece was chosen as the "pilot" of this thing..what it was actaully sopposed to do I am not sure..but it was going to change everything..I was in a compartment alng the bottom level of this thing and I was going to add mind power to it somehow as it did it's thing. To do this required me to take a dose of psilocybe mushrooms, and then smoke DMT at the peak while this machine blasted off..

It was the most insane breakthough when I smoked that DMT..for a dream it was preaty damn amazing! Im talking incredible geometry and the carrir wave like I have never ever heard it before..I opened my mouth and began to vocalize and these sounds came out through the geometry and began to power up the machine..at that moment I knew we had done it..the rest was up to Terence to be the pilot he was and do his thing! The community of trans-humanists were celebrating at the achievment of their goal and everything was about to change..then I woke up.

I stared to diet..ive been eating nothing but raw fruits, vegetables, wild rice and some plain fish all this week, cut out coffee...just drinking tea..and Ive been spending an incredible ammount of time this week at the beach, eery day I think...skimboarding and going snorkling, thinking about everything..the ocean is so cleansing..

I have sat down with crystals, meditated and smoked changa every single day for the last 8 days..one of those days I had 2 seperate sessions, where I went in 3 times each session..I cant even begin to pretend to talk about all that transpired in those experiences..we have all smoked DMT..we all know about THAT..

But yesterday was amazing. I was brought back full circle to my first real powerful DMT experience, where I became an infinitely unfolding flwer of life, repeating itslef over and over again. I wassoo centered yesterday when I smoked..went in 2 times..and on the second time I focussed my breahting and the veil lifted and there is was..the flower of life..the geometry that encompasses all other geometries..as I breathed I felt my heart space open and vibrate with waves of euphoria and empathy, my pinal area opened and I realized that the flower of life was being projected out of me..I was creating it, because it is a part of me, or it is me..

Now all I want to do is go even deeper and deeper into diet and eating living foods..no more dead, dense things like processed foods, even organic grain breads and things..I dont want to put them into me..I just want to eat as close to the natural state of things as possible..Through all this DMT I smoked this week I came to realize, through the downloads of info in the geometry inside of me that I can unlock things inside me, profound levels of knowledge and insight by training and refning my body, and working with ayahuasa, DMT and mushrooms along with diet. The body is a temple..take care of it. This is how we can ascend. Once you see it, it all becomes sooo clear..Humanity has a long way to go, but at least there is a way.

I was denied hyperspace today, for whatever reason..after 8 days of breakthroughs today i diditn happen..there was just light geometry with eyes closed that faded into an ayahuasca like glow for the next 15 minutes or so..I took that as a sign. I wont smoke for the next 5-7 days..I will just keep up this diet, exercise..and drink this bottle of ayahuasca in a few days

Interesting, I've had similar experiences.

I think in the end it will be like dancing at a really good party. You can lay away all of this "thinking" and just enjoy the show as it's being made, you don't need to know any more how. Learning to dance. Leaving all those non-dancey stuff behind because they all become like clogs in the system after a while. The trick is to be sure that you can finally let them to rest, that you really got to the point where you can release them (otherwise they will always return). And when they can really go, that's the beginning of freedom.

This is a very important insight for me. I also identified my heritage, the consciousness, fears, unresolved problems of my lineage in myself. And it seems that with my choices, my deeds I can actually somehow reach back in time and right some wrong which was committed by an ancestor in the past (at these times I feel that I healed something inside which was a burden of my entire family).

"The whole process repeats itself, ad infinitum, both in time and space."

I sometimes fantasize about what these psychedelic pioneers are up to in the otherworld nowadays... If that makes any sense at all... But if it does it's a funny thought. When Terence McKenna is freed from the limitations of human existence and with all its mind power begins the work over there, influencing our dimension in the most incredible ways. The death of every such being is an immense aid to those who are doing the work on the other side.

You are on such a beautiful path... Wishing you all the best.

This is so cool.
I believe that this is also what in budhism is meant with the word 'reincarnation'.
The budha used the hindu concept of reincarnation as a metaphor for how we are responsible in every action, to break the patterns of negativity that our ancesters where caught in, for the future generations to come.

We have to do this. We have to listen to what we know is right. We should never let anything scare us away. For in the end, that would be a choice to put the burden of negative energy that we could break, on the shoulders of those who come after us.

Indeed. You're a visionary FE.

^^ I feel like I have to add something else here..that comes off sounding like its all about MY journey, and MY health, MY healing etc..like it's all about me(or the individual)..well thats NOT really what its all about. You cant promote the healing of others until you learn to heal yourself,so that is where you start..but just as you begin to realize the human body as a temple..you begin to realize the entire planet as an extension of that body through the lense of the gaian mind. Gaia IS real..there is no doubt about it..this planet is alive and its all conected like a giant web..a sort of ecology of collective information and communication. We cant just sit around and diet, drink ayahuasca etc and expect that to do it..we have to reach out, take care of the planet..take care of each other..help other begin to see what we have seen. Ayahuasca and the other medicines are reaching out from the gaian mind, becasue the time is NOW..it is necessary tht this happens..there is no place for petty hate and resentment, all that crap needs to be processed and realized for what it realy is. Love is the only answer..not the kind of "love" most people talk about..thats lust..thats infatuation and ego stroking.

Ayahuasca is reaching out at this time for a reason..nothing is random. If anything is random than EVERYTHING is random..and if everything is random than that sort of makes the idea of randomness as we understand it silly and misunderstood. The planet is speaking to us..the universe is speaking to us..spirit is speaking to us..you just have to learn to listen. Through the eyes of the plants like ayahuasca, the mushrooms and san pedo all that starts to become clearer and clearer. The time to change is now or never..this is not a coincidence.

You def covered a lot of ground. i enjoyed reading what you had to say. some comforting words. These experiences can blow any ones mind to shreds and reorganize it in a completely different mannor. Heh, usually for the best, though some lessons are a bit painful.

PEACE

Thanks for keeping it coming.

As I read your last post, I saw a neuron which lit up, then the light it received was sent outwards on all its outbound connections, lighting up the neighbours, etc.

Once you make order in your own temple, once you build your own personal mandala, you begin to radiate the light you receive through it into your surroundings... God gives it to you, you give it to others. This is what the true servants of God (or lovers of God, if you like that better) are doing...



Another very important idea: the real meaning of love. I found that being honest is the first step, that's the basis on which love can work its magic. But love is something which we get, which flows through us. Being honest: that's our part. Being clear, receptive, ready for transmission: that's what we are working for. But once we are ready, love comes like a grace. It's not of our doing, we are just vessels, transmitters for it. But as it comes through us, it revitalizes all cells in our body. It becomes our newly found, life-sustaining force, which finally relieves us from the burden of the ego.

^yeah I really think that real love is something that people confuse these days with a sort of instant gratification that they get bored with the next day..

Freaky! I have had a similar experience but "I" was the pilot of the machine. Of course I don't mean "me" as at the time "me" alone did not exist, rather, THE I. In my dream it was the central axis of symmetry of some crazy infinite dimensional object in an infinite dimensional space where there was complete connectivity via this centre point.




Reminds me of the "thing" I experienced.



I have had this exact kind of insight too . Reminds me of Paul Coelho's book, "The Alchemist". Give it a read, it's very insightful.