A rather spontaneous trip yet one of the most important ones. I decided to dose – something – and after a while i decided to do 400mg lemontek’d pancyans. My mindset is good to go so spontaneous trips don’t feel like future issues.

After 20 minutes i got the first alert. I was in for a ride as nexus chat already started to look funny. I was at home in my awesome living room, enjoying time with other nexians. I had a mattress infront of my TV and a big cozy blanket.

Quickly i was approaching an emotional elevated state, yet it was a very inbetween world.
Self-defining thoughts cleared from my mind and my introspection got replaced with the warming space of conciousness the pancyans provided.

My CEV’s became a profound room i do know from DMT, yet it was lighter in color, lots of whites, light turquoises, and very slowed down. Lights slowly scurried around the fabric that this place was made of. It felt like i was receiving healing in my own private room of conciousness. A sense of security and closeness flooded my system.

When i got out of that state a new sense of self made itself known. I felt very secure within myself. To describe my feeling i felt like a untouchable warrior empress/emperor totally safe and sound with her actions. I was very confident, very sassy, very proud yet very loving aswell. The scenery felt like a futuristic video game!

I felt my emotional expression reach higher levels as i began to become more and more myself.

The trip suddenly elevated itself as i unlocked my laugh again. It was mayhem LOL.

The shrooms used a good friend of mine as concept to make comedy in my head. Like it used a memory of this friend as a model in a hilarious way to make me laugh. It was „nonsensical“ yet spot on. It was an unspeakable level of comedy.

I realized my laugh on shrooms is hilarious. It was so contagious…. This night i spent hours LOL’ing about my own laugh. It felt undescribably good to just laugh for hours.
I felt like my laugh could heal the world. My laugh felt like it just „came out“, and sounded like something in my aura „blocked it“, or gave resistance to it. It felt decoupled to my breathing, my new state of being was laughing and i rode the waves!
Chattering like a dolphin and rofl’ing about how my nasal cavities sounded it vibrated my whole body. During this procedure the shrooms guided me to heal internal processes. It was a passive process yet i saw what was going on.

I experienced how the shrooms healed my metaphysical relationships… This is something i still cant wrap my head around. In this state of heightened dimensionality i perceived myself interacting with parts of myself in my external fields and „marrying life“, so to say. I said yes to two specific occasions, and i wonder how that translates to my human life. I do know one woman that the shrooms showed me there.
At some point in my laughing fit i breached another plane. This one was right in my forehead. Im unsure what i saw. In the moment i experienced it as – my maker – taking interest in me. I perceived a complex black and white triangle shaped entitiy looking down to me. It was only a brief moment.

I got a great sense of importance during all of this. I never felt so close to myself as that day. It felt like my true immortal ancient self reflected into my puny human body and showed me how much more there is to this experience. Everything else of the human experience felt so nonsensical. Fights between people, wars, work… How it all doesn’t have to be like that if we just elevated our emotional experience and focused on the essentials of the human experience. I’m sure with this position im taking im able to change the world in a positive way and it’s something i do want to work towards.

I feel it’s part of my dharma. Theres no way around it. I want to nudge the status quo.

During all of this the connection to the other nexians was blissful. I didn’t wrote much but it was a very funny night. I can’t explain what was going on there or what i was in contact with, all i know is that im very happy to have all these awesome people around. Getting more experience in such states is a topic for the future me.
Besides all that emotional healing that has taken place i had one fragment within myself that was very issue ridden. It appeared as a young woman in alot of pain. I tried to take her in my arms yet there was no use in changing this state. I don’t know what to make of it. All these emotional relationships seem to scratch some shamanic knowledge i just do not have yet.

Days later i still feel the effects of the emotional healing experienced that night. Some deeply rooted issues have been resolved and my perspective of myself in day to day life has changed.
Im happy to have made this experience and mushrooms became my favourite substance that night. Im intrigued to explore these spaces more.