50mg vaped in one breath
The world coils tight
And
I’m approaching somewhere for a second
An array of white cubes pulse in the void
A momentary thought, “What a strangely simple place to end up.”
“Is this really where I am?”
Then the answer, definitive, “Yes, it is.”
Made of simple white cubes with rounded corners
Each surface flipping slowly through simple black shapes
Square, circle, triangle, teardrop
Then I’m inside
The last room in the universe
The sensation is of having stepped into the realm of something
That should never, ever be disturbed
The emotional frequency is so high
Terror raised to such a pitch that it bends and becomes something else
Something unrecognisable
I’m not alone here
‘God’ is with me
And he says, “I thought you knew, it doesn’t mean anything.
It’s a sick joke, but you’re here, at the limit of everything, maybe you know what it means?”
And the question arises as a mockery so violent and unanswerable,
It turns consciousness inside out.
I try to pray, here at the end of the universe,
And the words instantly fold and collapse on themselves
And I hear, “That means nothing here…”
I dry heave
And catch a glimpse of my room,
Ghosting perfect rainbow replicas of itself,
Layer upon layer
I close my eyes
And feel a shockingly animal fear
Telling me to keep very, very still and quiet
Something is being done to me
That must not be disturbed
It passes and I see giant lizard men
Operating robot arms
With placid efficiency
Obediently weaving spacetime back together
Then I’m back in my body
And I realise I’m panting
Breath, where the human self and the animal body meet
Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah
I stop and thank
The Almighty
Creator and Sustainer of the Universe
Beyond all form
Beyond all likeness
For this lifeworld
We inhabit so lightly