I got to test DMT twice recently, for the first time in 10 years or so!
The first day I consumed 20mg. My intention was to get used to the pipe and the inhalation with my partner without wasting a lot of DMT. It went well, and I had some moderate effects.
I've had some experience with other pure tryptamines in the past, and would've been comfortable with 30-35mg 4-AcO-DMT (orally), so I felt to account for smoking/vaping losses to air I should take 40mg next.
It turned out to be an incredible experience. I took 5 or so tokes, with one or two half or incomplete ones at the end due to laughing, coughing, or lightly sucking instead of a consistent pull.
By toke 3 the effects had really kicked in and I had to close my eyes. I would occasionally laugh mid toke. It felt like the words from my strategy for vaping entered my head but I remember how little of a grasp I had of the concepts anymore - I just knew I had to inhale on instruction I accepted it.
By toke 4 or 5 things were plenty strong and I leaned back into the experience.
As I leaned into it, I felt unprompted 'systems checks' as my mind registered systems going offline. I re-registered by intentions - to explore an intense DMT experience - and accepted I had created the venue for that exploration; I noticed how quiet I had become, and wondered if my trip partner was comfortable seeing me this way, or if I was being selfish - but we had researched administering the pipe to another together so I could 'forgive' myself for this 'selfishness'. I felt shudders as other more abstract parts of my consciousness slipped away.
The onset of the (closed eye) visuals came on as coloured shapes of a random nature on a black background, until my vision seemed to change when I landed in a rich, 3d like space; there seemed to be a depth and breath to the space despite it taking place in my mind. There were definite bodies (shapes) in the space too.
The most vivid visuals from the trip were a red cube-ish shape that came spinnig across my vision; and then I saw a space with a green background and a brown column with some irregular pattern or something I can't place after the fact,) and a Calabi-yau type structure on the right that was floating and in motion just turning around itself.. That was white with some greys to the shadows..
My self seemed to occupy some space in this realm - I felt I could see the space and see myself there simultaneously.
I felt amazed with how clear and obvious everything was as opposed to what I remember from earlier trips with 4-AcO-DMT, 5-MeO-DMT, or DMT on past occasions.
At some point a dialog opened between my partner and I around the trip and the experience. I had to pause while I struggled to articulate an answer, or even convert the question into trip space. At this time I feel there are whole chapters I've forgotten since then. I'd love to record an experience tripping to see if it helps with the recall of concepts.
As I came out of it, the intense blurriness that had made me close my eyes initially had passed, and I was back to normalish vision with stronger colours, more crisp surfaces, edges and corners, and lingering shadows cast over faces.
The transition between phases feels the hardest to recollect.
I remember feeling happy that the trip was going so well but observied I was always 'opting in' to the experience instead of being necessarily overpowered by it. I am loathe to call it a 'breakthrough' - as throughout the experience I felt connected to my presence in the room, and near by partner. So my typical senses were perhaps only 90% overcome as opposed to 100%.
Although some of these varied at times, I felt grounded to reality by the following:
- I'm in a room on a chair?
- am I breathing? how is my breath? inhale.exhale.inhale..
- how is my partner?
- how long have I being doing this? am I taking too long?
- my open-eyes were overpowered so I 'opted in' to the closed eye visuals. I chose that one over the other
- I was aware of a central 'self' with relatively subjective point of view
Next we prepared the pipe for my partner with 40mg. We both had some signs of being ill, but inhaling was impossible for her without coughing or taking very short tokes, so only light to moderate effects took effect.
Overall, I'm delighted with the outcome. I had been seeking an intense experience I could integrate to a reasonable degree and qualify my intent for further exploration.
I later fell ill with the same sickness as my partner, so we'll take a break until we feel better.
Next time I hope to work on my pipe technique and wish to succumb moreso than acquiesce to the trip. That said, I had a beautiful near-breakthrough experience and I can't wait to try it again!