General preface: I have retaken to doing DMT after some years off, mostly finding the therapeutic aspects to be incredibly helpful while going through a rough time in my life. In my early 20's I used the drug more recreationally, and now I am more of an astute pupil trying to learn and gain knowledge.

I might have tripped about 60+ times in the last 3 months with just about every single time being full blast offs and with a few times achieving break through expereinces. It is not hard with my method I have a specially designed bong slide that has health stones (Charcoal filters) on top and bottom and I vape the spice in the middle of these with a torch. I have been using a 12" bong and last night I upgraded to a 15" frozen coil condenser bong as I am getting old and figured it would be easy to get a bigger hit.

I have been running low on a stash and have been preparing to make my first, so I subsequently have been taking smaller hits then in the beginning of my 3 month journey.

The first 30-40 trips have been pure bliss, with beautiful encounters and insights, pink energy that has healed my pain etc. The last ten trips I have been moderating the amount I blast off with, instead of .08- .15 I have been doing .06's. I am not sure if the smaller hits are leaving me on the outside of the gate or if I have been reading to many stories on nexus of entities and death, but I have been encountering a lot of entities recently.

3 trips ago it was absolutley perfect but with 10 seconds to go it seemed like my spirit guide gave me a warning: "They are trying to trick you" I woke up scratching my head feeling exactly like the guy in the movie Momento. COnfused and trying to figure out who and what... Started laughing at myself a half hr later like "dude you are making up your own problems here there is nothing to figure out" but I kept wondering.

Next couple trips more weird entities, way more encounters then in first 40 trips combined. I have been dealing with a guiding force and now I am coming in contact with beings that are benign to some extent but also not very comforting or helpful. Am hoping my spirit guide comes back I do not feel her presence... So I took a .07 last night and it was ok but weird, doctors examining me not letting me past them into the other world. Then .07 a half later. Normal start and then a green "joker" being didn't just appear, the thing got all the way into my consciousness where only I exist, into my direct thought stream and basically said BOO! and scarred me harder than I might have ever been scarred. He was more then real to me and giving me his full attention in a very personal way. He then stole my existence. I watched things grow dim as he ran off with my life taking everything I had and leaving me with nothing. Total devastation. I woke up and found myself saying "wait, wait" I never talk or do that when I come to.

I was calm when I woke up. My favorite part of blast offs are how low my heart rate and breathing get it seems so therapeutic for my stressful and busy life. I was as calm as ever even though I just experienced death so I knew I was all right.

The experience definitely messed me up, but I am a student and always looking for take away insight in both bad and good situations. Sometimes the worst situations teach you the most, I have experienced that many times in my life. This one I chalked up to experiencing trickery and death, the green Joker did not steal my soul he just made me think he did. I now know more about what it feels like to die than before. I now know more than before.

I do not think straight spice is all beauty and upside, I think it is everything, which includes the bad as well. Yin AND yang. I am waiting to start making Changa and enhanced leaf but am feeling that the good experiences I have had thus far have been worth it and will continue to smoke straight spice as I do not mind seeing the good and bad and learning from both. There is a lot of pain in life and I feel like I can learn from both pain and pleasure.

After worrying my remaining spice had demons I took one more hit only a .04 and had an ok time and went to sleep. Am ok today not sure what the next blast off is going to be like I am planning to spend time outside meditating before my next trip.