While I was beginning to feel that the best response to
AlbertKLloyd's increasingly aggressive style of sharing his emphatic ideas with other Nexians, was to leave the discussion entirely, I just want to clear the air about a few of the distortions created by, and complete falsehoods that brother Albert is weaving like a net (to intentionally snare some imaginary opponent within).
Rising Spirit is currently his target, and who is next up for being discredited as incorrect, imbalanced, deluded and therefore wholly negligible?
I question this type of behavior. I question the motives and the intentions. Is such bradaggio an attempt to show the rest of our group that he is the alpha male, the most argumentative and demeaning dude on the Nexus, the uber debater without an equal? It just feels so blatantly combative, so disagreeable and moreover, quite rude to me. How is this an exemplary expression of "literal Taoism" or display proper Taoist "conduct and thought"?
But I digress... and want to publicly apologize to
everyone in this thread, including Albert, for taking the bait and veering from the topic proposed by the OP. While this was presented as a discussion about
Spirit and Psychedelics, it has proven to be an odd mix of insight and insult. It has become a battle of ideologies, initiated by Albert and apparently, is aimed at whoever he thinks I am. It has also morphed into a debate about what is, and what is not, Taoism and the essence of it's enlightened teaching. This is a turn in the discussion which has become a power struggle and was never my intention at all. Please accept my apology for contributing to such an unsavory behavioral exhibition. My bad.
Do I have to remind everyone here, that as this is the internet, that millions of minds can observe our dialog? From my vantage point, arguing amongst ourselves with such fervor is a disservice to
The Traveler and the team of moderators who donate their free time for our mutual benefit. How does this paint our collective portrait, as human beings who wish to express how they have been effected by their explorations and involvement with DMT?
This is not a cocktail party and we are not on a street corner, far out of earshot. The whole world is potentially watching our behavior and so, listening to our verbiage. Might we be more tolerant of each others views? That even we psychonauts, who profess that they have been changed for the better through our entheogenic voyages, cannot be descent and polite to one another... from where I sit, this does not bode well for our collective cause. Sigh... shall we mend this fence by treating each other with respect and dignity?
IMO, such a performance undermines a lot of good folks' efforts. And if we cannot even pretend to coexist in harmony, this doesn't do our cause any good, nor show positive effects from our methods or internal practices. Is this just another nail in the coffin for the legitimate usage of Sacred Medicines?
I surely hope not!!!
I wont say that this was Albert's intention, all along, as I suspect that my beliefs somehow unintentionally antagonized him to resorting to insults and derision. Or is any opinion other than his own, subject to some variance in verbal assault? I could be wrong, that he enjoys this kind of conflict-based communication, if so, please forgive my short-sightedness. I freely admit that I am passive-aggressive. I never claimed being beyond my ego. Spiritual awakening is often a cyclical process. We are all pilgrims along the Way. If I "thinly veil" jabs at those who blatantly insult and dismiss my experience as "meaningless"... so be it.
I am certainly no pseudo-sage nor am I disguising myself as some kind of a saintly wiseman. I'm not even close, just ask my wife!!! Also, I never implied that I had any secret membership to an exclusive circle of "enlightened" seers. All eyes can see. all minds can bloom. I opened my heart and mind and for this, I fear I have been targeted by someone with a big chip on their shoulder. I am just being myself and am aiming at sharing my experiences as honestly as I can, given the difficulty of our species struggle in deciphering one another's personal semantics. Let alone, the complexity of our conceptual interpretations of what we perceive and cognize, coming out exactly as we intend them to. To quote Popeye the Sailor Man, "I am who I am and that's all that I am"
Personalities are not identical and neither are their constructs in conceptual formatting. For those of you old enough to remember the 1970s comedy act, Firesign Theater (I date myself), I quote from one of their comedy routines,
"We are all Bozos on this bus." In other words, there is no right and no wrong set of beliefs. We are all viewing mere fragments of the whole picture, potentially perceivable to our earth species and that is simply human nature (and it's limited parameters of awareness). I was an autistic child as well. The premise that being autistic means one is aggressive, dismissive and rude to other human beings, is fallacious. It is quite untrue from my vantage point and without any sound reasoning behind it's continued propagation.
It may or may not be a justifiable excuse for poor behavior in mature discussions. That's up to the individual judgement of those reading this thread. But I honestly believe that such "conduct and thought" is intrinsically inharmonious towards the beliefs of others... and 180 degrees opposite of the the lessons and parabolic analogies that Lao Tzu and Chang Tzu have bequeathed to humanity at large. It's not against the Tao, it is against civilization's code of ethics. I will be the first to freely admit, I may be most incorrect in this assumption, as to err is human.
I was also diagnosed as autistic. I did not fully read, write or accept the concept of telling time by observing the movements of a clock on the wall, until I was in the 4th grade. They held me back a few times, along the way. So, eventually I was deposited in a class referred to as "pre-fourth grade", with 3 or 4 semi-retarded kids and about dozen of those kids who, try and try as they might, could not grok the basics of the mainstream, schooled learning system being taught in the early 1960s. Many of them were highly creative, some were just bellow average in terms of intelligence. I might add that they were good kids with a lot of imagination. Thankfully, I had a wonderful young teacher, who recognized that in my case, I was not wholly without intelligence, I was just the most stubborn child she had ever encountered.
One day, after quite a bit of vexation about my case, she pointedly challenged me one-on-one and asked me what time it was. I said, "I don't know". She sat down in front of me and said, "I don't believe that, I know you can read, write and tell the time of day, but will not even try to understand something so simple." In a state of sheer frustration, she grabbed me by both shoulders and shook me as hard as she could. I smiled and kept holding her gaze. At that, she burst into tears and began to shake in surrender to my rigidity an lack of cooperative effort.
Now this was my favorite teacher, mind you. She was kind, patient, enthusiastic and affectionate. A lovely woman who I still respect deeply. More than that, she believed that any child could be taught if one found the proper approach to their unique learning circumstances. Seeing her in such a state of unhappiness literally broke my heart. I didn't know what to do... but anyone with any sympathetic feelings, any heart at all, would be hard-pressed to do something to ease the sorrow they had themselves caused.
I pleaded with her not to cry. She stopped sobbing and asked me again, "What time is it?" I looked at the clock on the wall and said, "It's ten minutes after one o'clock, Miss Oakes." From that moment onwards, I was a straight A student. My IQ was last tested to be 144 and I could care less. Reason is but half the equation in human life and more often than not, it cannot create peace of mind or equanimity. I believe, that for such equal minded cognition, one needs to train oneself in mediation. to unlearn much of what keeps us blocked from the direct awareness we possess as infants, where each moment arise to be something new and wholly miraculous. One ideally, becomes a balance of reasons and intuition.
I myself, am still quite imbalanced, admittedly, towards the creative and intuitive regions of my brain. Yes, I learned to behave logically in a world centered around rational attainments. This, however, didn't eliminate my autism entirely. I am still prone to drifting into abstraction, quite often. And I only go into such lengths to make this point, autism is not an excuse for Albert's actions, nor a justification in cause for his rude and most dismissive behavior, in a discussion which is supposedly about the Spirit. How is it that something as enigmatic and ineffable as spiritual understanding, should illicit this tit-for-tat mode of communication?
I have expressed what I know I have experienced and despite the misunderstanding that Albert gleans from my words, I am being truly sincere. I never implied that because I have had many white light experiences, that I was better than anyone else. That would be unbridled egotism and hardly spiritual in any way. Nor do I believe that I ma separate from any of my sentient fellow, as I believe that there is but one greater organism and we are all equal aspects of it's entirety of being. But I will not deny what I have seen directly and experienced from my appointed windowsill.
I honestly think that there are an infinity of windowsills to glance through, and an infinite number of eyes viewing what they believe is reality, as they see it. So, please know that I do respect you all as family members and honor your experiences, even when if is quite alternate to mine. Is there not strength in diversity? Value to many vantage pints? All I know is what I have seen through my mind's eye... and what I understand of this mysterious field of being, is my own dreamscape. One I enjoy sharing.
As far as this "Emperor's new cloths" nonsense goes... it's nothing new at all. I see this as a diversion tactic to nullify the validity of another's views. Yet, for the individual, it is always a new revelation. So,we get exuberant about our epiphanies. Some folks like to praise the Unity and Oneness, other decry it as an anesthesia of sort. To each their own. And yet, even Christ said, "I am making all things new again." Is it not common knowledge that we create our own reality? I didn't make up such a notion and I challenge that it is suspect and part of some New Age agenda. And it is not simply an idealistic fantasy, nor a load of bull. Truth is one, paths are many.
OK, I am being aggressive in saying so. It is far more evident to me, that Albert is selling the fantasy, that such argumentative banter is more "valuable" than any DMT breakthrough or sober, deep meditative experience. I do not. From my viewpoint and opinion, it is akin to throwing stones. Neither is it thinly viewed, it is an ego war. Now, if we cut the crap for a moment, we might return this discussion to Spirit and Psychedelics?
I must seriously question if Albert has ever had a breakthrough experience on psychedelics. Partially, I'll concede, because he values heated discussions over DMT experiences. I'd ask that he describe his breakthroughs to us all, if only key aspects of it. I am open to his vision. But he derisively paints the testimony of any who have embraced immersion into the Unified Field of Being, mockingly so at that, as being mere delusions about some dumbing-down euphoria, attributed to the vision and feeling of the interrelationship of Oneness.
We are One. I simply feel that there is nothing so grand, consuming or beautiful, as the vibration of undifferentiated love as we inter-phase within it's totality. And then we touch the earth, we ground the spiritual union, grinning a big smile at the vast universe in all its perfection.
This does not remove hatred from the world we all co-inhabit, nor does it change a person overnight, surely! I have held the believe that moments spent in transcendental states can and do change our experience of ourselves and our fellows. And I sincerely mean that inclusively, not exclusively, and this shifts the parameters of our very minds. Yes, I honor such a state of mind to be more "useful" than any mental gymnastics offered as a counterpoint. I feel that if anything is "the king's new cloths" it is pretending that quarrelsome discussions are innately spiritual or for than matter, civil.
And I do not feel that I am right or wrong for believing what I do. Now that would be arrogant and the signs of madness. I seek to be in agreement on some points and respect the differences. Call me optimistic and I'll wear it as a badge of courage. I only ask the same courtesy in return and hope that we might act kinder and display more compassion to one another, as a more viable and healthier alternative to argumentativeness for arguments sake. We are souls, Light seeds sprouting in earthly soil, not pitbulls in a caged dogfight.
Peace above all things. Just my thoughts on the direction things have taken between Albert and I.
The greatest irony is see here, is that he and I both have been students of Taoism for several decades now, and long-time taijiquan practitioners. I had hoped for more symmetry and harmony in our exchanges. I will not address all of the slanderous projections brother Albert leveled at my various statements, as that would be like trying to put out a fire by throwing gasoline on the flames. As this could go on forever and ever... and we've other more important issues to discuss as a community, I bid you all a fond adieu. In this thread, this reply (a long-winded foray at that), is my swan song. Not because Albert has intimidated me into submission, rather, because I felt that life is too short for such fruitless debates. I just don't like arguments, however thinly veiled, even while clothed as an intelligent discussion.
For those of you suffering from optic stain, because of my verbosity, this comes as a great relief, I'm sure.
Lol. No harm meant to your eyesight, guys. May your journey deeper into yourselves be most luminous and thoroughly inspiring for you. May it engender significant transformation and much worthwhile, personal growth.
There is no self to which I cling, for I am one with everything.