Well i went for a run after taking a few hits and quickly started having a panic attack so i ran back home and i took one, the racy heart went down to normal my physical side was normal, i guess it just made my thoughts more believable in a negative way. Weed can get pretty psychedelic to me for some reason.

Eliyahu thank you so much for sharing that quote, it was fantastic.

I googled and found the audiobook in case anyone else is interested: http://thepiratebay.se/t..._Teachings_of_Don_Juan_(audiobook)_mp3

In the morning I'll be picking up my own copy of the book!

Stay away from them! Ever thought about meditating?

I'm in the same position of you brother.

I have seen one time hyperspace without even breaking through. But it was enough to shock my world completely. I just couldnt believe what I saw, I mean I believe it, theres no other choice, but my experience was enough to show me that indeed dmt is the most powerful molecule there is and it is quite a intense ride.

The anxiety is normal, we just dont have enough experience. We are still afaird to see what the plant what to show us. We will get by this state I'm sure. its a learning curve and to be honest, the dmt experience is definitly the most shocking experience you can experience, so its normal that its hard to get over our phase, which is the nanxiety phase. By beign here in this forum and seeing that some members actually are able to get over their fears and do dmt whenever they feel like it and are able to accept the experience, well I see that I just need to face my fears because eventually it will vanish, but the anxietey part is the beginner phase I guess.

No matter what I tell myself, I just cant just go right now, take the changa, and hit the pipe, I'm too afraid. It's just a fear to be afraid more then anything in my case, so this will change with experience, I'm sure.

I'm a borderline personality, so I quite understand the anxiety problem. If you are a anxiety person, well it wont change nothing, indeed once you and I are able to accomplish our fears, we will get out of it strong as anybody else and it will help us. I know this is why I'm interested in psychadelic, its because I know that I need them to advance in life. the plants, I know, are here for anyone who are smart enough to understand their power. What I saw in hyperspace was those things, completely thrilled that I finally discovered it and used it. I mean, there is now other reason for the plant to be there but to show itself to any living thing smart enough to ingest it right. What I mean is that I know that what I saw, well amoung other things, was the spirit telling me how fucking great I discover him. The whole goal of the plant is to be taken and understood, and I was doing just that!!!!!
In my view of hyperspace, some entities were clearly telling me to let go, to come see what the plant whanted to show me. The entites were ultra excited that I was finally there in their world, I know that the excitement of the hyperspace were indeed something magic. My experience was magic, everything about it was wonderful, beyound what I could have even thought of the meaning of magic. Hyperspace, as I saw it, was the exact meaning of magic, beyond relaities, and it was absolutely gorgeous in every sense. My anxiety comes from the fact that my monkey in me just have a hard time accepting it for now, but I will get thru it. In fact the monkey in me CANT, for the sake of life, understand. Only my spirit can comprehend and like it. The monkey with time I guess will surrender, but we are not at this stage yet.

Oh my my, but I understand the axiety. No matter what I tell myself, the duality of the experience is shocking.

For my spirit, my experience was the most magic, exciting, wonderful, thrilling experience. I mean my spirit couldnt believe what was happining, it was so revealing to him, absolutely completely alien, but my spirit was not afraid at all, my body was though.

For my monkey, my experience was so freaking near death, so freaking incomprehensible that my body is scared. I cant shake the fact that for my body, whatever that means, for my brain yeah, for my brain, the experience was horrendous, completely terrible for my brain. My spirit was excited but my brain was crying for help at the same time.

I have no idea what to do with it. The only way I know that I have to pass thrue my fears is stopping using my brain. Because my brain will always, I'm sure, tell me not to do it, but my freaking spirit cant wait to see hyperspace again.

Go read my post titled, "Clear, Open and Unexpecting Mind" its kind of indirectly yet indefinitely related to this and may be helpful to anyone having this problem.

I have, and i have attempted many times. I have an over active mind, and thats an understatement. It makes it really difficult to shut it up. I have no intentions of taking any medications at all. The only meds I take are Vitamin D, L-Tryptophan, a Vitamin B6 plus the ton of stuff in my shakes.

Meditate don't medicate! lol

I find that giving myself reassurance and telling myself that "I am gonna smoke this here DMT whether you like it or not and its not going to hurt its going to be a lot of fun and I want to see what it has to show me!"

It only works half the time though.



AWESOME! Im startin the download in a couple minutes! This will be awesome as I can listen to this at work on my iphone

Icon and anrchy.....

The Carlos Castaneda Series is definitely an entire mystery in itself, The first two books deal specifically with psychedelic compounds such as peyote, Datura and P. Mexicana mushrooms.
The mushrooms were prepared in a special way in which Don Juan would place the fresh mushrooms in a dried Gourd along with some other unknown local Mexican Foliage. The procedure involved leaving the mixture in the sealed gourd for one year...At the end of the year the contents of the gourd would be removed. It came out extremely dried and could be easily broken into dust. The dust was then smoked out of a special pipe.

The effects that Carlos describes from smoking the "aged mushroom" mixture were very DMT like and Terrence Mckenna speculated that the mixture may have actually contained DMT..He thought it might be possible that by the action of decaying and degrading the psilocybin inside the gourd, Don Juan had effectively created a DMT mixture.(psilocybin degrades into DMT?) I would guess that It is also possibly the plants added contained either DMT or some sort of MAOI as well...So Don Juan may have had an ancient form of Mushroom Changa..

Over the years a lot of Nay Sayers and skeptics have come down hard on Castaneda...A book called the "Don Juan Papers". Supposedly "exposes" Castaneda as a fraud...

I think, the thing people did not understand about Castaneda was, the information he is providing is accurate, it's just that he changed the names and places around and embellished here and there to make it a good story...In my opinion, what Castaneda has essentially done is he has packaged a collection of the most valuable philosophical knowledge he knew of in a very palatable and interesting format....

So in short I have no doubt Carlos had a mystical Teacher. Carlos was from Brazil originally and may have even taken Ayahuasca but chose not to mention it in his tales for whatever reason. I believe Castaneda is just doing his duty as an apprentice, protecting the identity and location of his real teachers.....

As the books in the series progress the theme becomes increasingly abstract, but the writing also becomes full of more and more incredible information about shamanistic practices, and lore about the pre-conquistador history of Indian shamanism in old Mexico.

One thing I would ask you two is....

out of respect for Mr. Castaneda is....could you please remove the Pirate Bay links? I don't mind if you want to tell people it's available for free somewhere on the net and let them find it themselves but.......

A couple reasons I say this..one reason is the Nexus frowns on copyright infringement...
Another reason is the information you are learning is sacred...in a sense by reading the books and taking seriosly what they say the reader in effect becomes Don Juan's student.

So I ask you...is pirating his material any way to start out a shamanic apprenticeship?

Mr. Castaneda by writing those books provided us with a great service...and I believe we only owe it to him to actually purchase his books, even if is at a thrift store or whatever.

So I know you two already downloaded the book and I know Icon mentioned he would buy a copy of the book...and that is cool, but I would rather not have this thread encourage others to bootleg his material...Just a suggestion for good karma. If you guys want to pirate it, that's OK but just try to make it up by buying something from Castaneda at some point.

Also, I happen to believe he faked his death and is still alive, so he might actually still be getting the money....not just some faceless company..

I don't mean to be a party pooper, or a buzz kil ....But pirating those books are not like pirating movies...this is a lot more sacred obviously.

Let me try to make it up by saying...if any of you have any questions about anything you might read in the Carlos Books ...Please free to PM me about it....I will most likely have an answer for you as I have lived and breathed these books for 18 years and I have tried just about every shamanic technique mentioned in them.

Thanks-
Elijah


P.S
I have to agree with Dante that xzanax and the like are to be avoided at all costs, I actually knew someone who took them for anxiety and when he did not have it he would have random seizures.

Yes i will remove them, but I do wish to say this as well.

For me pirating is an easier way of promoting work. Many people who pirate stuff end up purchasing the album, movie, book ect. if they like it. If they dont like it it gets deleted. If it werent for pirating, quite a few people wouldnt become fans of some authors, music so on and so forth. The whole "pirating is damaging" is just completely unfounded.

However I respect this website, and your opinion as well =]

i will be purchasing, and spreading the knowledge of his work to other people I know who will also be purchasing his work. By me showing glimpses (demo's) I am spreading the word and helping sales!

Anrchy:



I am inclined to completely agree with you....I just believe this case is unique.

In the spirit of Shamanism, a Shaman does not just "give" his knowledge away..there is always some type of exchange involved, whether the exchange be one of energy or one of goods, there is always a trade of some kind going on....

As a practitioner of shamanism myself I can say that whenever I teach someone something I do it not only out of the goodness of my heart. I also do it because by teaching someone else knowledge I ultimately end up learning as well in the process.

To get a little more "far out" let me say that myself and a few of my close friends have had the great pleasure of meeting "Don Juan" himself while traveling in the spirit world...as DMT users there is a good chance you may run into him as well during your journeys...He is known for giving people a real hard time...he will make fun of you and blatantly point out you flaws in the most insulting yet hilarious manner....Somehow this ends up being encouraging..he is kind of like a psychedelic drill sergeant.

Anyways I don't know what he would have said to me had I not given Carlos his due for providing me with such life changing information, but it wouldn't have been nice I'm sure.

I'm sure you probably see what I'm getting at here.

Like afew have said. Over time the pre-anxiety lessens. I tend to believe that this "Space"..call it consciousness, god, the infinite, or whathaveyou...it's truly infinite in it's display of intensity and visions..therefore..as much as we try to get accustomed to everything leading up to that plunge...the pre-anxiety will always be there in some way, shape or form. Even if it's just a speckle..it'll be there. But the trick I've learned (and not really a trick per say) is just to accept the fact of whats about to transpire and KNOW it's a roll of the cosmic-dice. This acceptance has grown in me over time and I try to incorporate it more and more as I go.

Like me for instance.. I used to partake a couple times a week every month. That dwindled down to once a week every month, and now it's to the point where I only do it when I'm MOST COMFORTABLE....which imho..is very important.

I find this most important before smoalking, it really gives the best kind of experiences, when one isn't pushing himself/herself to take the leap.

Only rule for me: Have the feeling "yes lets roll" before blasting(100% wanting and ready to go "out there" ). Works well to feel somewhat comfy in hyperspace

I found this especially interesting. I only hope that I get this experience as well.



I feel inside as though this is something I can overcome. In a way this anxiety that i feel, not just with DMT but other things as well, is a contradiction to my personality. I feel like all of my anxiety experiences are roadblocks and that one of my lifes journey's is to conquer it. Every time I feel anxiety, it is only during a time while I am taking an action and it always results in either I fight through it and do what I myself "want" to do, or I let it control me and dont follow through with my plans. Again, this applies to many aspects in my life other than just DMT.

I never applied the term "anxiety" to what I was experiencing until just recently a year or 2 ago. I never get random anxiety attacks. It is always during some sort of situation that involves my outcome being viewed by other people and possibly judged (although this is mostly in my head and people arent actually judging me) or something that causes me to become worried about myself or how something is going to effect me.

For example of how its contradictory, I like to go fast. I ride quads and streetbikes. I love being in a racing type situation (safely), I also snowboard and love going fast. Now I have found there are two things that happen to me that feel a lot alike. Adrenaline and Anxiety. I used to attribute all of my anxiety moments to adrenaline, but now I know that is false.

Anxiety can make you shaky just as getting large doses of adrenaline do. I also believe that a lot of times what I am experiencing is both at the same time. Anyways, I know that I can overcome this. And I am observing all of my anxiety moments really close, studying them. How they come on, my first reactions ect. My plan is to completely overcome my fears, struggles, anxieties.

I wanted to thank this thread and the Don Juan quotes and especially this:



That is so true and it's scary that I didn't even realize it. I started to forget and I became scared, not remembering. You just have to keep reminding yourself, even with low doses (that aren't really low at all). Thank you.

For me, it's more and more relevant every day. Maybe you'll find it so.



Godspeed.

Yesss. "let's roll" is usually what pops through my head right before haha

Or just the simple "F&@k It" (and I mean that phrase in the best/most positive way possible haha)

The point of just accepting whatever level of anticipation or anxiousness that might come about pre launch is what I've grown to do.

Kinda like accepting the inevitability of your impending physical death.

Fear is the mindkiller. I love this quote, and the all the dune movies/series. this has actually been the greatest motivation for me to conquer my fears. My brother has it as a tattoo on his back, he beat me to it, but Im gonna do it also anyways.

That's my way right there! I'll typically have an hour long battle with my ego before I take a psychedelic and it always arrives at a point where I get so frustrated I just say "F&@k it" and go~!

Getting mad at one's self is, I've found, a pretty good way to get past the fear. By get mad at yourself I don't mean down on yourself, but if I'm acting like a pussy about tripping I just pick apart the illogical fallacy of fearing something I've experienced so many times before. It tends to do the trick, at least for me.

THIS.

This is basically the only way I have found to get over the BIG ones. I'll get upset and ask my self, "Really? your gonna be such a pussy over this? gonna let yourself get scared and go cry somewhere? WTF REALLY?"

lol

thanks for this thread guys.

i had two breakthrough DMT experiences over 5 years ago and haven't been able to push myself over the edge again since. its not even the dmt itself thats fucking with me so much; a week after my 2 breakthroughs i had a wretchedly traumatic candyflop (took the E before the L so the peak of my trip was all fear and insanity) that grabbed ahold of my DMT memories and flipped them to be the scariest shit imaginable. i know i'm not doing a good job describing this, but its the best I can do. basically, DMT was mystical and awe-inspiring, but the trip i took a week later which was themed by my DMT experiences was so scary that I start physically shaking and breathing heavy when i'm even around someone smoking spice.

A few months ago I extracted a couple grams as a gift for my wife because she's super psyched about diving into the deep end. so she bought the glass vapor genie and has been waiting for the right day to use it, which will probably be today. she wants me to join her, but i'm having a really hard time trying to psych myself up enough that I can do it. I know its the right thing to do, but its SO HARD to take the plunge. fuck. dammit. god fucking cunt it all. i should just do it. no i shouldn't. yes i should. no, i shouldn't, just live a comfortable life. yes I should, delve deeper into mysticism. gahhhhhh.

i guess I'll see in a couple hours what happens. maybe if i just smoke 15 mg it will give me a taste for more? i can't tell if that thought is coming from a place of fear or a place of reason.

Vector

i recommend you dose low if you are going to. Small doses are very easy to integrate, easy to move into, just easy altogether. If you can talk yourself into doing so stick with a handful of small 15mg tops size doses for awhile. It will help get you back into the groove again. That is if thats what you want. If you WANT to do DMT again and be comfortable with it thats my advice.