transformation - I'm not a doctor, I don't even play one on tv, so take this with salt. I've dealt with depression in my life, and I wish I could find this quote, but I can't. It went something like "depression is saying no to life". It's like a bad habit we get into, often repeating a very negative "tape" in our heads. That pretty much sums it up for me, and others I have known. Doesn't mean that's how you work though. Do you have access to therapy? Insurance often covers it, and it can be very helpful, for at least part of the healing that needs to be done.
Something I've noticed with entheogens is; they bring your "stuff" up right quick. Right "in your face" so to speak. I have a lot of fear inside, and I feel it when I use entheogens. It's scary AF, but it's only an illusion. I mean, I FEEL the fear, you know, but it's not REAL, it's part of my "tape". The last time I used changa, I was SO scared....and after, my panic attacks were WORSE! They were richer, more detailed, more "sensual" if you will. THAT sucked....I was thinking DMT is making them worse?...Uh oh. But then, they went away. After a few days, I was thinking, I haven't had a panic attack lately. They seem to be gone, for now, or perhaps reduced dramatically, which is cool.
Can't speak to the memory loss, but I am familiar with sleeping lightly. When I have this problem, it seems to be due to emotions, or thoughts. "churning" in my head. I would wake up at 2 or 3, with my mind racing, and feeling angry. I feel these emotions are part of my "tape", and while they are illusions, I feel them quite strongly. My view of this process is; the "tape" and it's emotions need to be experienced, and then they go away. Sometimes one experiences a "cause" for the, but it's not crucial.
As far as your tek, I'm thinking that's not the problem, but I'm no expert. Good luck in your journey!