I guess i misunderstood you then, when people say someone needs proffesional help they usually mean a shrink or similar.


Ive actually tried getting into auäyahyasca ceremonies at 3different occasions the last year.

I have some friends that know this shaman from brazil that visits sometimes and have small ceromnies.

Its weird though since every time i have by some reason been excluded from the ceromonies, i dont fully understand why but i have every time felt a connection with the healer and accepted that it wasnt meant to be.


Maybe all of this had to happen first so i could fully understand the scale of my issues, i have been i denial but i am now open to the magnitude of my pain.


Hopefully he will make another trip here again soon and will choose to include me this time.

There are others that have more experience with dark entities if that is what you are referring to, but my advice would be to have a good long chat with your Mrs with regard to your issues. Make it up to her even if you still think that she is in the wrong. Clear the air and improve your mindset. People fuck up in their personal lives. Why should she be any different.
The fact that you have returned to this thread after your "i"m outta here" moment shows that you have an open mind. Which is a good place to start.

As far as professional help goes, i don"t see any problem with seeing a shrink. There"s no shame in that.

Edit; With listening to trance as therapy i recommend listening to stuff from the first half of the 1990s (the German stuff was particularly therapeutic).

this^^^

if you are at the point of self harm then you need to seek help from someone who knows what they are talking about.

all the best, Path of misery, I hope you get sorted soon.

I don't know that this is really the place to come to sort through your relationship issue, but your posts make you appear unbalanced. I echo the rest of the responses here urging you to seek professional help (and yes - from a shrink or similar).

I sense great fear in you, young Skywalker. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. I probably butchered that YODA quote, but you get the idea.

Break up and move on, raise your kid in separate households like a good American.

Therapy would be wise, and staying away from DMT and all drugs until and if you get your head straight is probably a good idea. No relationship is worth hurting yourself or others over.

Let the wound bleed, then let it scab. Eventually a scar will form and you will be stronger. Or you can stay with her and be forever resentful and hateful until the boiling pressure cooker explodes.

Or you can get over it and forgive her and yourself. Forgive yourself most of all and kick yourself for not seeking the comfort of another woman while you were broken up.

I'm joking mostly, but you're taking yourself way too seriously. Light Up, brother! Life is too short!

Energy flows where attention goes.

This quote has helped me very much for the last several years. I also have felt like I have a negative energy attached to me. Although I do not blame it for any irrational actions. I blame myself. It is easy to place blame on something you can't see, but feel is there. (I also believe that this "entity" is just what I am calling my attachment to negativity)

If your attention is on negative thoughts, which it sounds like it is, then you are going to be more likely to be in a negative mindset inviting in more negativity. Outbursts like the one you had with cutting yourself is most likely YOU venting out the buildup of negative energy/thoughts/feelings ect. If you can shift your focus to something positive throughout your day, you can start on the path of happiness.

Letting go of things that upset you are extremely important, for everyone in our day to day lives. I used to get upset with my GF (at the time) for placing her gum on the rim of an empty glass. She would leave the gum on the glass, and the glass on the night stand for days. Eventually I would allow my attention on the mess build up my frustration. Then I would angrily communicate my feelings to her ultimately causing a fight.

Eventually I learned to LET IT GO. It really wasnt that important and it was much easier to just remove the gum, throw it away, and clean the glass myself. It may not have been what I wanted to happen, I rather she did it, but the outcome taught me this:

The glass and gum were bugging me.

The fact that she wasn't taking care of it bugged me.

I have the power to fix ONE of these problems instantly. Over time I did this with multiple things that would upset me and realized that I was allowing lots of little things to compound into something big. Setting me off and ruining my good mood. You can then measure the importance of happiness vs the trouble you have to go through to stay happy. If you are having to carry the weight of enough things from your partners laziness (or whatever it may be) and that outweighs the worth of being with them, then you are not going to be happy with them.

If you cannot forgive, you cannot forget. You can only choose one path.

I also believe its more likely that the reason you knew that something was up was not because demons were telling you, but because you have a connection with your woman and are able to read her. 3 times an ex I had a long time ago had sex with someone each time we broke up (3 short term breakups). I knew the very next day each time. I pushed her to tell me, and she would finally breakdown (the same way each time) start crying and then spill her guts.

Its likely your intuition, which I find is strong in me when it comes to people I care about and am around a lot. I also agree that you should seek some sort of help. Any kind of help is better than nothing. I don't think its impossible for someone to fix anything on their own, but some people need assistance. There is nothing wrong with that. If you think you can do it, go for it.

Right thought
Right action

Conquer your fears, conquer your anger. Strive to be happy. Don't give in to negative action.

There is some excellent advice in this thread.

I agree that there is nothing wrong with seeing a psychologist, as I have done so many times and found it to be very beneficial. Psychiatrists are medical doctors, meaning they have the power to prescribe medications. Psychologists do not. Although I am not completely against all forms of psychiatric medication, I find it can be beneficial for some people to go see a person who they know cannot and will not try to push pills on them. Psychologists are essentially people who are there so that you can talk to them, without judgement or repercussions. They may challenge your logic, or ask questions that make you uncomfortable. But these things can be extremely beneficial in helping a person break through their own delusions (we all have them to some extent, no exceptions). None of the psychologists I have ever seen in my life have suggested medication or doubted the ways that psychedelics have been helpful for me, even though I have discussed some pretty fucked up things with them.

Best of luck to you, Path of Misery. I hope you find a less miserable path.

Wow, the depth of love and understanding in this forum is well beyond what i had ever expected to find when i started lurking in the shadows. I applaud everyone who has taken the time to respond and offer their support and advice. also i would like to thank Path Of Misery for trusting everyone here with his extremely personal problems. you people act like more of a family than some of my own actual family members. i cant thank you all enough and look forward to the day i can put that much trust and hope in you.


Feeling the LOVE,
MM

Once again i thank you all for showing support to me even though im a stranger to you all.

The reason i choose this place to went is cause im not really new here but some people know me in real life and this was way to sensitive to spill my true identity.


Its now been 3days since all of this happened and i can finally say that my senses are coming back to me.


One thing i need to explain is that since a very young age ive had to force myself to shut down my emotions to be able to survive some childhood drama.

Ive abused cannabis on and off for over 10years which has further shut my heart chakra down to an almost no existant state.


Well for the last 2years ive worked very hard to become a emotional human being again, but things like this doesnt come over night and i would honestly say that my emotional age is somewhere between 10-13years compared to my intellectual of 30.


I def know that self mutilation is very very serious but ive never had to deal with emotional pain this strong before, sure shit happened but i have always been able to shut it off.



Both me and my girlfriend have a similar childhood with parents that were were heavy drinkers and i think there is a reason why we met each other.


Ive calmed down now and can see this with an clear mind, the anger is gone and i will deal with my sorrow somehow.


Ive actually thought about seing someone to talk with but right now im the sole provider for our family and cant afford anything like that.

We had a good talk yesterday and i explained my reaction and my fear of rejection, she supports me even though ive acted like a lunatic for 2days since she knows i would never hurt her or our daughter.

We have some friend that is gonna go on vacation soon so she might stay at their place a few weeks so we can get some distance and think things through.


And about demons and dark energies I cant say what is what real or not, it might be a way for my mind to distance them from me.

Like a methaphor so i dont get trapped in the concept of of them being me and giving me the feeling of helplessness.

Its easier fighting demons than fighting oneself.

Keep a clear head as much as possible and if you find yourself frustrated do something immediately to distract yourself before you lash out.

Good luck to you sir

My first impulse is to agree with you Art. What have relationship issues have to do with a forum dedicated to getting shitfaced on drugs? (allbeit in a very spiritual way for those of that persuaion)
But, as the story has unfolded, deeply rooted painful issues have come to light from the OP and maybe we have helped to avert some of his pain.

I am unable to resist the urge to give helpful advice to those that ask for it. Its a curse but it feels good when it helps.

I think we nexians kind of set our selves up, what with having such a loving community and all. Most forums would have been riddled with replies like "you pussy" and "tits or gtfo".

Its what makes this place so special. It feels so comfortable here that people often create threads asking for advice on a completely unrelated topic. Seen quite a few since i first joined.

So much love...