Thank you for the responses, all insightful and helpful. I think my course of action is to do nothing but continue on my path as I have before. My parents are of an older mentality and cringe at anything "hippie", which is how they view this stuff. There is no reason for them to respond any differently than they have in the past to these talks, so I figure I'll just let sleeping dogs lie.

These are two people who have been there for me my whole life, and I think its just an urge to put everything out in the open. Never liked having these little secrets, but I think its marking a crossroads for me. As someone mentioned, if it hurts me to do these substances against their approval, then I either have to stop or make peace with the fact. I of course am going with the latter, being an independent and empowered human being, I embrace my freedom to intelligently use what the universe has given me. My need for their approval might just be linked to my love for them and fear of their death. Deep down psychological stuff, you know. I see this as an opportunity to free myself of that fear.

Thanks again folks, and happy travels!

FWIW I think your attitude to your predicament is admirable, much as your posts in general seem to be.

I just gave my vote to you for membership

-Max Planck

Thank you kindly!

I hope that it all works out with your parents. I know how they may think from time to time and it is more than frustrating trying to explain otherwise. Fortunately for me, my parents were very open to all drugs as far back as I can remember. In fact they are who introduced me to a few of them. Maybe your parents will come around when they see that you are a well rounded adult who is capable of living a healthy life while indulging once in awhile
Thank you for sharing with us!

I'm not really sure why you want to, or even think you can, change your parents religious/moral views.

They obviously aren't fact based views, so you're basically trying to change their attitudes and views on life.

That's rather foolish, insolent, and rude of you being their junior.

If your parents were christians and you were gay would you think it proper to describe your sinful sexual activities to them? Even if you're straight, would you think it polite conversation to tell your parents about every tramp you bed or how you like to beat off?

It's just not polite. The only proper and respectful time to discuss things like this is when they ask. And I would suggest telling them that you use weed and other drugs medicinally.

If they don't care how many studies show that weed is safer and more effective than tylenol, then nothing is going to convince them. Just play the game and start razzing them with your worries and concerns about the drugs THEY'RE taking. Chances are that they're on a lot more dangerous drugs than you are. Weed can effectively and more safely replace many of those, so you should be constantly riding them about getting off their dangerous big pharma chemicals and onto safe, effective, and natural MJ.

Even though you'll probably never bring them around, you'll probably reach a stalemate where you can both quit discussing these inappropriate topics with each other.


-FF

I don't consider it rude to be truthful with my parents, and honestly I think your analogy is totally off base. I also resent that you assume my parents are on prescription or non-prescription medications, as they take neither.

One of my points in this discussion was that my parents DON'T ask about it, they just worry and respect my boundaries as an adult. Hence, I wish for them to not worry, since there is little sense or reason in it. I also don't understand how you consider this an inappropriate topic to discuss. You're on a message board where the sole purpose is to discuss putting substances in your body. Secondly, they being my parents, are ideally who I should be discussing this with. They have sacrificed more than I can possibly know to make me who I am today, and they deserve to be kept in the loop. I find it sad we(I) live in world where so many things such as this are considered taboo, and forgive me for trying to alleviate that.

My parents have changed their minds about "drugs", when one member of our family started using medical cannabis for her medical problems and it worked, bringing a relief which no other prescription drug ever did.

I think that people change their ideas about "important" issues not by means of rational argumentation by other people, but through a personal experience.

What are you talking about? Your entire posts sounds to me of supporting closed mindedness and not attempting to have close and honest communication with your parents/siblings at all. Why you compare coming out to your parents as to your sexual preference to how many times you sleep with whores upsets me. Your post also comes off rather negative and opinionated about things that you can't possibly know without the OP having given this info to you.

This is NOT how we conduct ourselves on this forum.

You also go on to talk about "razzing them" about the drugs they are taking even though your main defense was to be respectful and not bring up such disrespectful conversation?

?????

Certainly you can see that there are some subjects that are uncomfortable for them to discuss. Unless there is some real reason to be discussing it then it is probably your own desire to bring up uncomfortable subjects that is driving this. Seems rather selfish to keep rubbing their faces in your behavior, which they don't approve of.

At some point you need to come to the conclusion that they don't approve of drug use, and every time you bring it up it is making them uncomfortable and causing them unneeded mental stress from worrying about you. If/when you come to that point it will be time to stop discussing it with them, since it WILL be rude to continue. My advice is that you should have probably already reached this point. I can't know the details of your relationship, so it's something you have to decide for yourself. You're free to ignore my advice, as I could be completely wrong due to not knowing your exact situation.

There's no reason to resent the assumption that they are on medication. You gave your age, which lead me to believe that your parents are in their late 50's or early 60's most likely. The VAST majority of people that age are on some sort of medication. If not then they are probably not getting proper health care, which is something you should me much more concerned with. In particular, they should be taking aspirin every day. Recent large studies have reinforced the previous benefits of aspirin and made clear that there are HUGE health benefits and significantly lowered mortality. It's one of the single most important things you should be doing for your health.



It makes them uncomfortable. Causing discomfort + serving no purpose = rude/inappropriate. I tried to make some analogies, which you apparently see as off base. Unless you can find some purpose to the discussions then the analogies hold and make my point exactly as intended.

Even if you convinced them that you're a responsible user and your drugs of choice are safe... it's still going to cause them increased worry and shame. Even if you completely changed their minds there's still shame and social stigma associated with drug use. Since there is no possible way to erase that, discussing these things with them will cause them distress.



I agree. Trying to ignore reality and psychology doesn't usually benefit anyone though.

You have an enlightened world view and an openness to new experiences. Naturally you want to share this with others, especially those you love the most. But chances are very slim that this is going to happen, and discretion is more likely to produce a better result than the distress caused by a hopeless battle.

Chances are that you are going to experience the nearly infinite sadness of seeing your beloved parents go through life and die without ever sharing the nearly infinite wonder and joy of the experiences provided by psychedelics. That's the real bummer of the situation. I suggest you think long and hard about your real chances of changing their minds completely. If you don't think you can do this then come to terms with it and make your peace with reality.


-FF

FF, why are you consistently assuming you know exactly how it is effecting his parents?

No where in the OP does it allude to his parents feeling uncomfortable about talking about it. They just simply disagree with it from what we have been told.

'You know parents are the same

No matter time nor place

They don't understand that us
kids

Are going to make some mistakes

So to you, all the kids all across
the land

There's no need to argue

Parents just don't understand"

-William Smith

I'm not, and I specifically stated that I don't know his exact situation. He asked for some advice and I'm giving him some psychological generalizations both from personal experience and basic psychology.



I guess I'm guilty of making the foolish leap from them being disapproving and worrying about him to calling it "uncomfortable".

Perhaps he is from a culture where being confronted by behavior your disapprove of in a loved one and this causing worry does NOT equal "uncomfortable". In that case my advice is probably not very helpful. If so, I'd love to learn more about this atypical culture. Can you point me some references on this?

I don't see how worry automatically translates to uncomfortable. If you could elaborate more on this it would be greatly appreciated.



This seems rather harsh to me and completely unnecessary wording. If you still don't understand please refer to the rules above the field where you type your new post:

Also think about the following: Watch your language - Communication is comprised of not only the explicit but also the implicit messages, which are transmited through choice of words and general tone of speech. We do not want curse words and immature slangs in the nexus! Please use language in a dignified manner.



You say this as if it applies to everyone. ?? I don't know of a single person, and this is just me, that falls into this category. Your saying every christian is against homosexuality? My mother would def want me to let her know, and it would not make her uncomfortable to talk about this.



This doesnt sound like your stating you don't know his exact position.

If someone doesnt agree with me please let me know but I just found this rude and unnecassary compared to all the positive replies the OP received from EVERYONE else.

If the OP did not find my advice worth reading, I'm sorry.

Some of the stronger terms I used were solely to try and characterize how I believe his parents might feel being confronted in the manner he is asking about.

Subjective judgements are best made by those with the most personal experience with the topic. When someone who is my junior wants to argue with me about some judgement like this, that I have much more life experience with, I usually find them to be "rather foolish, insolent, and rude".

I'm not suggesting that the OP is any of those things, merely that arguing with someone greatly senior to him may feel this way.

This topic basically breaks down to an opinion that drugs are morally right or wrong IMHO. With subjective issues like these there's just no right answer, so I don't feel that the argument will be productive. For many people the mere presumption that someone so junior to them has the right to actively argue it with them may be offensive or uncomfortable.

The nature of his relationship with his parents is key, but I don't see how understanding other viewpoints can hurt. I frequently have political and moral debates with my parents, but I'm careful to draw a line and don't get into personal stuff. You should also know what is comfortable for them to debate and what is not. When I debate drugs with them it's over a news story or political issue, I don't get into actual choices I have made in my own life. That's probably how the OP should approach things also.


> Your saying every christian is against homosexuality?

That is probably off topic, and your right that I should choose my words more carefully so as to not get off topic.

Homosexuality is mentioned as a sin in both the old and new testaments. I'm not exactly sure what the distinction is between a "christian" and someone who believes in, or in following the rules of, the bible.

Not really sure this is the place to debate the rules and values of pseudo-christians.

For what it's worth, I don't personally bear any ill will towards or believe there is anything morally wrong with homosexuality. I would sooner "cast out" a hypocrite than a homosexual.

Though not well received, I appreciate your opinion and take no offence from your post. Criticisms are always welcome! I think I've already come to the conclusion you've been suggesting. My parents will never buy the idea that marijuana can be used safely, let alone strong psychedelics. It was wishful thinking on my part. The weight on my shoulders is of feeling they worry too much about me. I still have a problem with that, but I'm accepting it. In time I hope they will accept I make better decisions than I did in the past.

Thanks for the input, and happy travels!

Good luck! Parents worry. There's really nothing you can do about it. If they don't worry about drugs it would just be STDs, driving accidents, not wearing a warm enough coat/hats/mittens, etc., etc..

It's just in a mother's nature to worry about her children. The best thing I've found that you can do is call or email them frequently, even if it's just a few sentences. Every time they hear from you it eases their worrying a bit.

When I don't contact them for a month or so my parents always start to worry and start sending email like "Need to know you're doing OK" or "Status?" I've found it's best to just set a schedule like every Sunday or every other Sunday to send them a short email. It sure cuts their worrying to a fraction of what it would be.


-FF