Here is how it all Finally went down.
Things started out well after waking Saturday morning. My plan was still to get each person to enjoy it alone. It started with just my roommate and one friend who came over early to chill with us on our four-day weekend. They asked me so much and I answered allot of their questions as best as I could. They did well to listen and take my advice. It was a beautiful day and I started by showing them how to operate The Machine by hitting it myself. After sitting in silence from a wonderful positive trip. I passed The Machine to the friend and let him rip, I sat next to him peacefully, silently with my eyes closed, projecting my energy through Meditating as he explored his own mind, and after I was sure he had returned I allowed my roommate to ask him questions and explained to them both what ever he saw was for him and him alone. Like Morpheus told Neo after he met the Oracle, we all laughed on this.
My roommate decided he wanted to give it a try, and as it had gone well for both our friend, and myself. I decided the environment was quiet and peaceful so I couldn’t refuse his enthusiasm. I tried to look at it as though we were driving on the road, and I could keep them safe. It worked out very well. We sat together after our trips and discussed science and philosophy, they enjoyed my metaphors and I learned allot from them. With the trip already dead and gone we were just tripping each other out by communicating, by talking about life, the world, The Universe and how it all connects and how everything we knew could easily be sewn together. They taught me so much and I thanked them for it. We took a few more res hits together, and let our minds flourish. Things were going well.
We continued our day by eating free food at a Christian church we had been invited to that same morning, and we had fun meeting new people. My roommate and our friend distanced themselves from the church members at first, but I mingled around with the older members of the church, as I love to absorb as much knowledge as I can from elders. My friends soon followed in my direction joining me on conversations with others. We all learned some important teachings; aside from all our differences we had a lot in common, and so much experiences to share with each other. After a great meal we thanked the church members for inviting and feeding us, and they welcomed us to come back on Memorial Day to celebrate with them. I might just have to go by myself as it was a positive experience for me, and I enjoyed the energy. Although I am a man of science I was sure to respect their beliefs and to recognize that the historical teachings of the bible are important to all of us, we can learn so much from it, and we're all connected no matter what faith we follow in our lives.
Upon returning home with my roommate and our friend, we continued our journey into the void, still harnessing the positive Energy we received from the members of the church. My friends and I connected on some deep levels and had a great time.
At this point it was well into the afternoon, and as things continued to go well for the 3 of us. I received a text from one of my other friends. Asking me what I was up to. At this point I was feeling so alive and excited I invited him and another close friend of ours who was with him to join us, thinking that nothing could possibly change the vibe. I was so wrong about this, and too blind by my own feelings that I failed to heed all of the careful warnings I received from you all in the past few days. I thought the vibe could be maintained, but I was clearly wrong, and the fault is my own.
I want to take an opportunity here to apologize to you all here at the nexus. MusicTurtle, ZenSpice, sarek, Nitegazer, and emptymind. I'm sorry I didn't refer back to all the great advice given to me by you all here at the Nexus. All you're posts did not go on ignored as I read over them all carefully multiple times, but as I stated before I was so blind by my emotions I strayed into a different path.
The whole day ended well for the most part. I'll assure you all this now as the last paragraph sounded very sad. Sad is partially how I feel as of writing this. But I was able to learn from this experience and for that I am thankful and I hope that by writing about this experience I can learn more. And maybe it could one day help someone else who may be wondering about the responsibility that comes with sharing DMT with others.
Continuing on. The Other Two friends showed up. And I walked outside to greet them, as my first two friends were already deep into a whole new trip.
Too keep things organized I will assign handles to my group of friends. My Roommate will be Black Knight, and our Friend who had been with us all morning will be known as Black Bishop, The good friend who contacted me will be White Bishop, and Finally the last friend who was with White Bishop will be White knight. Me? if you’re curious I'll be a Rook, I don't need a handle, but like the Rook I tried hard to keep my self as a peaceful tower, watching over the other pieces and moving the only way I knew how, this only served to feed my own Ego, not cool.
So speaking with W-Bishop and W-knight outside, I told them How the day had gone, and I explained how important set and setting was, and how we needed to keep a peaceful atmosphere around us if we were to continue our journey together. Maybe I thought it was enough for them to understand. Maybe they thought I was out of my head and talking gibberish and they just played along to get a trip out of it. Either way I invited them in quietly and I allowed them to speak with B-Knight and B-Bishop as their trip was over and I let them talk amongst themselves for a little. I should have seen the warning signs. W-Knight was headstrong and determined to "chase" the trip as I did my first time. One of my biggest mistake was that I allowed it, thinking it would teach him a harsh lesson and that we could just comfort him as a group. This was wrong of me, having this devious intention is negative, but I thought nothing of it and continued forward.
A little side story. W-Knight and I rarely ever see eye to eye. We are the type of pair that likes to contradict and argue with one another quite often. He feels he has the right to pass judgements on me as if he commits no wrong acts, I am a passive aggressive that can explode like a time bomb. I know he's faced my angry moments, he naturally does well to bring it out of me, and he's smart to ignore my expressions of anger as if it wasn't happening. And for that, it should have been another warning for me not to do DMT around him. And yet I continued to demonstrate to him how The Machine Is used by hitting it myself.
As he began to hit it I sat quietly in my own trip. I glanced over and saw he couldn't get a rip out; I took The Machine, asked him to sit back, relax so he wasn’t "on the chase" and to watch me hit it again (another bad Idea). I passed it back, and bingo! He dropped out. So we sat there silently as he traveled through his own mind. As he spoke outwardly, I spoke with him too (another warning sign that I was straying, since we shouldn’t have been talking just yet), we enjoyed the rush together and he was thankful to me for the experience, I was thankful to have the opportunity to share this with him, but I can't remember if I told him or not (I was tripping balls but things were still going well as far I was concerned, I thought I was centered I wrong to think this.)
After The trip I showed him how easy it was to melt the syrupy goodness back down to the bottleneck with a blow dryer. And I welcomed him to use my room if he wanted to go farther, He instead told me he wanted to go outside with it, I respectfully advised against it as politely as I could (we are in the city after all), and he kept insisting it was the right thing. So I had to be stern and tell him he wasn't doing it with any of my stuff. This did not make him happy me talking to him in this way, these are our differences. So I compromised by giving him a 50mg dose to take home for his own use and he was thankful for it so we left it at that. As he said, he's an adult and I think W-Knight can handle running around the woods with it. Then he said he uses a machete to get through the branches, but again he's an adult, and he's a war veteran, so I told him to take care, and be responsible. I pray that he did not take it lightly. I care for his safety. He is still my friend, And I would feel responsible if he made the news.
So we joined the others for a few more rips. and this is when my trips began to get a little more negative. I internalized it to hide these dark thoughts. I had to express myself by stretching and flexing from my Indian stance allowing myself to shake it off. It helped me center myself but I created quite the sight, so they asked me questions, or they were laughing, or both. I was still in the zone, and I opened my eyes to see their fascinating faces and tried to communicate, I was tripping so hard I forgot that encouraging communication was not a good idea, so there I was tripping balls and looking at W-Knight as he was closest to me from the couch while I had my spot on the floor. W-Knight and I began to ask each other condescending questions, I told him we had a pool since I knew he wanted to go outside so bad. He did not get it, as all he heard was me saying, "Brother, We have a pool" so he looked at me like "okay pool so what?", and I was frustrated that he couldn't make the connection between me knowing his passion to be outside, and me telling him we had a pool, I thought it would've been a great idea after we were all done tripping. And maybe he didn't want to go to the pool, but instead we looked at each other like we were foreigners incapable of understanding each others native tongues, It took me a minute to figure out that we could never really agree on much any way, so after my trip was over we spoke some more. We got to exchange words. I told him he had a strong ego (as if I didn't, God I wish I didn't, but I did, although I wish It stayed dead back in an earlier experience, I keep forgetting it is still with me) and he fired few choice words back at me. Cool thing is we tried hard to understand each other and remained calm in our debate for the most part, but still we were arguing as W-Bishop said “about nothing.” So I sat on that thought. We were able to maintain a level of silence again but the tension was clearly there. So I decided that was enough DMT for us, I gave W-Bishop a 50mg dose for himself and after a few more minutes after B-Bishop had left. I decided to send W-Knight and W-Bishop packing. I allowed a darkness to take over me and decided the best thing to do was to end the session all together. It was a long day that started out wonderful, but it could’ve ended better. I walked out with them to W-Bishop's car. They both still had a trip just hanging out. I gave them each a hug, and sent them on there way. W-Bishop didn't smoke during his stay, and good for him as I hope his experience will be amazing when he does it at home with his own bowl, I think he also looked up the importance of set and setting again while I had been preaching it like the pompous self important ass I may have been, during the time we spent together.
I only blame myself for how the night ended. It had to come to an end so I did what I felt I had to do. I'll never smoke this vitamin in such a large group again, and I'll be sure to be selective of the individuals I do sit for in the future, My only responsibility is to myself so I may never offer to sit for anyone again and as I begin to extract for myself since buying and selling is a dark and evil path. I will share my resources with only myself and MAYBE my roommate, anyone else who wants more will have to learn to make they're own.
To White Knight, White Bishop, sorry I kicked you guys out, and I hope you two can understand why I believe this action was necessary. I was peeking out on High level doses after showing you guys how it worked. Hitting it that hard as many times as I did, in that setting full of independent minds was a bad idea. Having you guys around me, not able to fully understand what I was going through and how to deal with me, killed my good vibes. I had to re-align my self and the space around me to become centered again. I was too blind in that moment too see that I needed to take a break from this stuff as I usually do when I'm alone with it. It's important to really meditate after the trip is completely over. Please take care when indulging your selves this is not a party drug, it's not acid, it's not shrooms, or MDMA. you shouldn't do it at a rave. It will touch who you are deep inside, and It's easy to get lost in the moment if you don't show respect to the vitamin, and If you think you can handle the experience I subjected myself to under that environment, It will fight back or you may not even get a trip out of it as that's also the spices way of protecting you. White Knight, I know we can get along as long as we "take small doses of each other", and we learn to respect each others boundaries. I'm sure we can agree on this much.
To everyone at the Nexus who made it this far into the post thank you for reading, and thanks again for all the advice. For the most part it did help me out through the day, although I got lost from the path I was determined to stay on. I have to remember that these experiences can both teach us, and without good care can harm us if we forget that it’s still just a hallucination.
And To Everyone, I wish you all safe travels on you're journeys through hyperspace.
See you later Space Cowboy...