Welcome aboard toxic8
Fascinating experience you related. What you describe resembles the Indian Yogic transmission of Shaktipad. This phenomenon happens when one person initiates the shift in another's consciousness. Disciples crowd around Holy men and Holy women for this euphoric high.
Sadly, corrupted Gurus like the late Swami Muktananda, actually sold this
experience to unwitting seekers for $100.00-150.00 a pop! I personally declined the show, as the price for admission was too steep and the reality was, I didn't want any such solicited "Shaktipad". It just seems wrong! He did author a few well written books about Siddha Yoga... but the words are hollow if the soul is so tainted by such madness. Sigh...
That being said, I was to be shattered by such a shift in awareness, from an Indian Kriya Master named Sant Keshavadas... and it cost me nothing out of pocket. It did, however, briefly cost me my ego. Santji was visiting Boulder CO, in 1980, for a big spiritual conference at Naropa Institute. He also gave a free lecture and musical performance at one of the local Unity churches. He was an enthusiastic, accomplished singer and a Bakti Yogi. He was an advanced Kriya Yogin and radiated so much spiritual energy and joy, that just standing a few feet from him made my ears ring and my third eye buzz. We instantly had a connection and my brother and I hung out with this illuminated Sage and his disciples for the entire weekend.
Long-story-short, even though I had been initiated into Kriya Yoga through the Self Realization Fellowship, he offered to initiate me again. He praised Swami Yoganada and recounted his encounters with this famous Indian Kriyaban, in the 1930's. Then he leveled his gaze at me and said in a soft tone,
"I will initiate you tonight, this time not for the methods but the reality." I looked him strait in the eye and said,
"But I already know how to meditate".
He began to chuckle and asked me in a teasing way,
"Who is doing the meditation then? Are you the one? Who are you?" I paused, ready to launch into some long and philosophical, existential dissertation. Something like,
"I think, therefore I am."... but then he leaned forward and put his right hand on top of the crown of my head... everything went completely blank in my mind. My thinking process was frozen. I felt a jolting surge of current pouring throughout my body and I was decidedly intoxicated!
Instantly, as with spice, I heard the morphing rumble of the Om vibration and my head exploded with white light. I had no body, mind or any awareness of form at all. I was floating in an empty Void of insubstantiality and I was euphoric! I was free in an expanse of infinite bliss. Honestly, that is my remembrance of the subjective experience and this was the only time such a transmission has happened to me with another person. Essentially, I was just the witness.
This state lasted for nearly an hour and I had to be half carried by two friends and literally, propped against the wall in a sitting position, as I was barley aware of myself. I couldn't move. It was just like having sleeping paralysis. I vaguely recall hearing everyone laughing and Santji himself, roaring with such a belly laugh that tears flowed down his cheeks. Had I been able to see myself, perhaps I too would have been hysterical at my odd dilemma?
The experience was so much like the first time I smoked DMT, 31 years later, that I still wonder how he had generated such a powerful transformation in my being. I was drunk with the light for the rest of the evening. I can only speculate about your experience,
toxic8. It may take you a lifetime to integrate such an unusual happening.
I never saw Sant Keshavadas again, although I wrote to him once, snail mail. I asked him if he was my Guru and he was kind enough to write me back.
"Dear one, I am not your Guru. You were born free. You must remember this feeling? For you, the Guru is the one seated deep within you, observing existence within your mind. He looks out through your eyes, breathes the air you draw into your chest and beats like a drum within your own heart. Never look for God outside of yourself. If you wish to come to India, I will receive you as a student but just remember, India is wherever you are... and you need not come to this old body and kneel before it. We are already One."While I have met many advanced souls, felt
the juice from several high Sages, Shamans and have had many teachers... I've never again felt so much raw current buzzing around another human being since. Like most of those very high Gurus of the 20th century, he has passed on to the other side now.
I feel your story has many similarities to my own past experience. You have seemingly been initated in a rather unorthodox way and it is for you to now find out who you are. Teachers are everywhere. Some are hidden within plants, some are living people, some are thought-forms we contact in dreams and meditations. And if we pay attention, we can learn from many of those things that occur to us. :idea:
There is no self to which I cling, for I am one with everything.