I'm 28 years old, and yes I should be old enough to tell my parents "I don't care what you think, I can do what I want!", but its not my style, nor has it ever been. I am my parent's only child and thus their pride and joy. And I love my parents, would do absolutely anything for them. I spent some years of my life living somewhat carelessly. Smoking cigarettes, not exercising, taking some select substances ect. One bad acid trip and they are perpetually worried it will happen again. I've since revised my life, I stopped smoking, I exercise, I eat right, I've changed my attitude. But even with cannabis, they are still convinced it will take 20 years off my life and give my all sorts of tragic health issues. I now smoke pot once a week, if that, and usually use a vaporizer anyway. I still take mushrooms and will probably take DMT again at some point. Does anyone have any sort of idea how to deal with some old fart, stubborn parents in this regard? I can't seem to be at ease with taking these substances if they still think I'm hurting myself.

Rather than the "I will do what the hell I want" angle..

Why not try the "The last thing I want is for you to worry and I hope you understand that I have learned from my errors and researched this as much as is possible. it is if anything a way to ensure my more habitual and addictive traits are finally put in my control. I hope at 28 years old you can trust me to make these decisions knowing now that I am only seeking to improve my state of being and overcome a few things. I tell you because I respect you, do not wish to keep things from you and most importantly do not want you to worry"

I mean if you use the same level of sincerity, honesty and directness shown in your above commentary (combined with the fact you have researched and definitely qualify as an adult) then it is about the best shot I can think of.

Honesty, sincerity, compassion and understanding.. If you show this then hopefully it will be reciprocated..

FTR I wouldn't mention it to my own parents (but then they got major personality issues of their own and we are estranged at best).

Best of luck

nobody thinks all drugs are bad.
aspirin is a drug, as is garlic, cayenne, tumeric, and practically everything else we ingest.

people associate a bad connotation to the word "drug" without knowing the full definition...

i wouldn't bother trying to convince them to change their outlook on psychedelics

when it comes to cannabis though it can be a bit easier...Plus there is plenty of legit research/statistics you can present to them, if you really want

this. i wish more people wouldn't get so caught up on a popular and emotional definition of words, which simply opens the doors to a misunderstanding of meaning when a word is being used in its true meaning.

great advice zen, i think as op puts it being open and truthful to his parents is important, and so i'd say confront them in a very open and honest way, present them with some reading to do and maybe it could sway them a little bit to your side. but i guess you also have to realise that this might not happen and be able to accept this outcome as well, and then your only option is either to continue without telling them, or to stop. a tough choice, and it's too bad pressures like this are put on us sometimes by ones we love.

Your plight is something that I can relate to, as I also have parents who still have the 'drugs are bad m'kay?' attitude for everything from pot to meth. Sure they know I've smoked weed in the past (and boy did they make quite the scene), do they think I still smoke today? Probably, but being 22, I haven't heard any negative comments about my habits in a couple years, or at least since I've moved into my own place. They have a 'not in my house' attitude, but respect that I have my own place, and I can do whatever I want in it. Will I smoke weed in my apartment while they're over visiting? Probably not. But like you (and probably a good chunk of Nexus members), my parents don't understand how much they were lied to about pot, mushrooms, or anything else that would fall under the dreaded D.A.R.E. definition of drugs, and sure some of the stuff they were told is true (like opiate overdoses being fatal), but you see my point.

Will I ever convince my parents that pot use is less harmful than the amounts of alcohol that I've seen them drink at one time? That's yet to be seen. Will they ever willing share a blunt with me? Unlikely. Will I ever get to trip on mushrooms with my parents? While I'd absolutely love to do that, it's probably not gonna happen.

Best of luck with whatever you chose to do.

i think parents prefer , not being told about such things

just keep your use private as it only concerns yourself

no need to burden them with the truth

eh.
my parents were far from understanding at first, but after almost three years, they are starting to come around.
"i have seen you mature into rational, loving person, what has changed my son?"
"i've been doing drugs"


i just try not to be too pushy about it, but eventually they will ask you why you think what you do, and that is when their ears are truly open.

This the approach I take, because they are from a different generation and a completely different mindset. They think I smoke some pot occasionally, and they know I don't drink. That's pretty much the extent of it, and I believe they like it that way. They're the type to ignore something and hope it goes away. Too much truth is not good for them

That's what I was getting from the OP also, hence my response (being respectful and honest in order to maintain a positive relationship). Might not always work depending on the personality of the parents. Mine went booloo over me smoking weed yet came in one time when I was younger to find me tripping balls on shrooms and barely said a peep (now't queer as folk eh lol)..



That is INSPIRED!!! lmao

what mama dont know cant hurt her

some people are openminded enough to listen but most arent, they have a fixed view of substances n the world and there is nothing you or anyone can tell them to change their minds, so i found many things just best untold, but your parents might be different u could myb try showing them some statistics or documentaries, good luck

Agreed to a point.. Mutual consideration all round would be the best precursor to any action.

If you feel they will not be open minded I would very much agree with the parshvik route (revelation of the reason for improvement 'after the fact' rather than any revealed intention 'prior to' any obvious improvements).

In fact I really do think that is an inspired potential method indeed (the best response out of all of us so far I feel lol)

Well, you could always ask them to watch Bill rant a bit on the topic

Personally, I flat out told my family members (including grandparents) when I started to dabble with cannabis a couple of years back. I didn't know how they would react, but they didn't seem to care that much. I'd say just go with what feels best for you, be it silence, tactfulness or the uncensored truth.

i never felt comfortable with those little "white lies of omission"
be it coming from the parents or from the children.

If someone makes a claim, it's up to them to prove it is the truth. Have your parents done this? They will never be able to find one study that proves these natural psychedelics cause brain damage or stay in your spine etc etc...



This is ridiculous, there are so many studies out there to support the very opposite argument, and none to back something like that up. Stress is a real killer, and stubborn people are quite prone to it. I know because I've been there.

If you must try to convince them, I would ask for evidence from them first.

My parents know that i smoke weed, take shrooms and drink Ayahuasca.
The whole family knows that i drink strange medicine with strange natives from south america. And most of them approve or are at least neutral with some curiousity.
I think most of them still dont realize the magnitude of this endevour.
Not even my parents who participatent in 2 traditional Ayahuasca sessions with me. Unfortunatly my mom couldn't drink due to health issues, and my dad drank to little. Still i think i got the message through, the fact that they even considered to come with me is a solid proof. They KNOW that antidrug propaganda is wrong, but decades of brainwashing is not something you could easely forget.
It all boils down to fear.
Parents always fear for their children, because they love them, and its that vulnurability the anti drug propaganda exploits.
My parents KNOW, they have the information, but their emotions are always stronger.
So i don't tell them anymore. I wanted to be honest, i wanted to share this with them but in the end they suffer because they cannot overcome their fear.

Sometimes the truth can be a burden.

I guess I was/am lucky to have accepting parents. My mum is cool with what ever I decide to thoughtfully put into my body and I can even talk to her about the experience (though occasionally she'll give me the raised eyebrows at some of the things I've experienced, ha ha). She generally doesn't indulge in psychedelics or recreational stuff though she did have a few mushroom journeys in her youth with my dad and told me the great stories involved. She is also of the spiritual/new age persuasion.

My dad also didn't indulge very often though he did grow and sell weed on the side to friends throughout my childhood and teenage years (I was blissfully unaware of this until I was a teenager).

Neither of them drank much at all either. I guess you could say they were a bit left of centre to most my friends parents growing up, bless them

My inlaws are a different story and I would never bring up the topic of psychedelics or my use of them. Though they are lovely people I just don't think it would register and might colour their perspective of me. Though I am a long haired, colourfully dressed musician so they might have there suspicions, hehehe...

Some folks you can't change, especially as they get older and more stubborn. You can try but if repeated attempts don't register it is sometimes best to just keep the peace and accept the differences between you, hell, that is the definition of family a lot of the time isn't it?

if this is truth, consider stopping taking these substances. It looks like stopping taking these substances what they would like you to do for them. If you are'nt at ease with your actions, you are hurting yourself.

or, the favored suggestion:

let go of your parents ideals. your parents will be okay. your independence may be the best chance that they have of finding their own personal salvation. do not cling to this worldly thing. let go, and you will find relief from this suffering.

If your parents are rational and can be open minded, giving them solid reassuring evidence or a couple good reads might be helpful... but unless they tried for themselves the substances you use (and even then) they will keep worrying.

The best way to eventually make them stop worrying is to use drugs well. Be responsible, dose safely. Do it right. That will prove to them, even in the long run, their worries were not necessary.

My tact in general is don't tell anyone anything and try to be an over achiever in as many areas of my life as possible.

When and if they find out I use DMT/Medical Cannabis/etc. then what leg do the have to stand on when I am a responsible citizen and produce more for myself and community than they do.

My question to you is why do you think you have to convince them, or anyone else for that matter, that "drugs" are ok.? Sounds like you are wasting alot of energy to gain their approval on a subject that you will never win on. They are humans too and entitled to their own opinoins just like you.

Live and let live!