So my gf and i just split a couple days ago. It was just our time. No real issues. We have just learned what we were meant to learn from one another. This has been the most awesome breakup ever...

What is love? Love is just a feeling...it is not the basis for a relationship (although it is a requirement for one). I love many friends! Does that mean that i can't have sex with anyone else? NO. So then...if love is felt between all...what makes a relationship a relationship? It's a verbal agreement. Words are just the physical manifestation of the contract between souls, so as to set boundaries here within this dimension. If you don't say that you're "together" or "in a relationship"...well then...there is no agreement to not sleep with anyone. You have to label it...put words to it...in order for it to physically manifest and create an agreement.

So then what is the point to a relationship? A lesson. While this has been the calmest, most loving and caring break up i have ever heard of...it still does hurt. We are going to remain living together. We get along great. We compliment each other well...and quite honestly...we both like where we live. Just because we are physically out of this relationship doesn't mean we can't still love each other!!! I mean....i think that ideally...if two people really loved each other...the ending of their "relationship" could very well be the beginning of a much deeper relationship. I will always love this woman and think fondly of our time together...and not think "god i'm glad that's over" or "man...what a BLEEP she was".

This breakup has taught me more than i can put into words. We are both here to help the other heal. We're talking through things calmly...and as we do...things are making sense! We're seeing the beauty in our past together...and still looking forward to our future as friends. Yes...it still hurts...but something tells me that this is how break ups should go. We are focusing on the lessons we've learned with each other (we were together a little over 2 years). It's sooo much more meaningful like this. Focusing on the love and lessons instead of the hurt and pain. It's really powerful to be a part of this. I'm not saying we're the first to do this...but i've never heard of this. Our bond will be sooo much deeper now. It's just like death...on a less grandiose scale. "we" "died" but just like in physical death...death is merely the next birth! there is no separation...so there is no real "breaking up"...just an end to a verbal contract between her and i. there is no her nor is there a me...there only is. there is no separation. these words and terms and labels we put on things create the separation necessary to enforce the contract between 2 souls. now that "we" are over...our future together has just begun, only in a new light!

we broke up monday. last night...we cooked dinner together...sat down and ate and just talked. spent over 2 hours last night...just talking. well...plenty of crying but we spent the night bonding as friends now. cycled between talking about things in our past, present and future. it was a very healing night. we both got things off of our chests...both cried our eyes out to one another...both were their to help each other heal. it was beautiful...i feel so blessed to have been a part of her life...blessed to be a part of such a positive and healing "death"...and pray that our relationship matures into something so much more and so much deeper than ever before.

So again i ask? What is love? Love is a constant, if it's real. I still love her and always will. I've learned so much from her. I teach with words...so she can tell you what she's learned from me. She teaches by doing...by feeling...so i simply cannot put into words what i've learned from her...i simply hope that what i've learned from her begins to reflect through my words and actions from here out.

so here is to one of the best and biggest lessons of my life! looking forward to what we can learn from each other now! such an amazing experience.

thank you

judging by all that i can safely say you have never felt true love my friend.hope you find it one day though...good luck

no indoril...if it is true love...it doesn't end! it merely matures. this is the first time i've felt this...this was the first time i felt REAL love. i pray you'll get to experience this joy one day!

Love covers so many emotions and relationship types I think your question is impossible to answer unless we break it down into infinite sub-types. Every time I have experienced it is totally different.

Maybe we could have a slightly more answerable question if we broke it down slightly (rather than looking at the infinite possibilities, which will be hard).

Yeah, I got something like that with a girl. There's a girl I love, we have some kind of bond. We just don't show it physically...... or hang out together, or speak to each other. The lesson I learned from her is that it's ok to let people go, even if you love them. And surprise, I've found it's a lot easier to get along with people, and build more relationships, if that fear isn't there.

I think to put it very simple is that it's anything positive.

I mean love in general sense, not just relationships...

I am afraid I really cannot agree with that one! Love is capable of being negative. It can lead to self destructive behaviour, loss of self control, dissociation, self loathing, to name but a few of the bad parts of love.

That is relationship love

I guess my statement suits better for only love in sense of positive emotions, then...

By relationship do you mean that which is experienced by lovers/those within a romantic union of some kind? I get confused by the term relationship! For a long time I saw it as only being in that form but nowadays I see relationships as being any type of ongoing interaction of one or more beings (actually maybe thinking about it you could have a one-being relationship?).

Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.

Sorry I couldn't resist.

Love is simply a frequency, a very powerful one.

and here i am trying to take you seriously

Yeah...
Basically my point about love in general is that I think anything positive can be more or less described as love. And not only in "lover relationships".

It's important not to confuse love with fear. which often go hand in hand. what love may lead to shouldn't be confused with the love it's self.

2 'accurate' observations on love imo ;

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. ~ Kahlil Gibran


Love is the Pursuit of the Whole ~ Plato

Smugness, arrogance, and sarcasm...none of those are traits of someone who has experienced a love so deep that they are forever sympathetic to those who haven't yet felt anything like it.

haha you beat me to it

Wow, I don't even know what to make of this. Please don't take this the wrong way but if you two have such a deep bond, and that your "future together has just begun, only in a new light" why did you break up?

In my marriage, I'm learning that the saying "love is not just a feeling, it's a connection" is pretty accurate. If the connection is deep, I wouldn't think it would be necessary to break it. Obviously I don't know the intricacies of your relationship so maybe I'm just misunderstanding, but it almost sounds like you're in denial. Regardless, I wish you the best in whatever happens.

I dont think love is negative or can lead to self destructive behavior. I think when one thinks they are in love but really isn't, that can lead to internal conflict and bring about some negative energy or depression which can then lead to self destructive behavior. I'm no expert by any means. I just have my past and present relationships to draw off of. My love makes me try hard to constantly be the best man a can be for my wife, the best dad i can be for my children, the best friend i can be for my friends, and the best son i can be. Love=Positive energy

Break ups dont have to be nasty all the time, some people are better of as friends

I hear what you guys are saying, but ultimately, "positive" and "negative" are relative terms.