Hello everybody,
I'm Paul, from Paris, France. I am so grateful for this website/forum to exist. I've been obsessed with psychedelics since I was 7 years old. I know, this is not very ordinary, but I wanted to see colors brighter. For example, you know how kids can draw the same thing a thousand times ? I would draw the Las Vegas strip, because of all the neons. I was a little french boy, with no idea whatsoever about what Vegas meant, I was just obsessed with bright colors.
Later, I got obsessed with the idea of hallucinating. But I've always been a very cautious (easily frighten?) person, so I wasn't this reckless teenager who tries everything. Also, I didn't want it to be a fun/recreational experience. I wanted something "serious" with the right conditions.
a little later, my center of interest became spirituality, wisdom, magic, shamanism... probably like many people here : )
I became a philosophy teacher and started practicing zen buddhism.
a month ago I felt "this is it, I'm not scared anymore, I know I'm ready".
so I found a way to get some changa.
I tried it for the first time tonight. I'm still very careful, so I started with 20mg of a 50% DMT changa, in my crafty vaporizer.
felt almost nothing, just a nice feeling. Went back and hit 40mg this time. felt good but not so different from the first time. Then, I took the vaporized leaves and smoked them in a pipe (a pretty shitty pipe I have to say, I should get a good one) and got something a little more intense. I know this wasn't a "real DMT experience", compared to what people can tell, but it was a good first try, because I felt (and still feel) a strong feeling of serenity. I thought "I'm so ready to let go" and that felt great. Also, I felt something like a "deep truth" not so far away.
I wasn't looking to breakthrough the first time (I'm not even sure what it "means" ), it'll happen when it'll happen, if it happens. I like the idea of getting slowly accustomed to this divine thing. Of course, there's a tiny bit of frustration (that's me!) because i'd like to be able to control better how to take it. I don't know what is the best way to smoke (or vape) changa, but I will find out : )
thank you for reading me !
"How Small A Thought It Takes To Fill A Whole Life"
Wittgenstein