Hello fellow Travelers!

Let me begin by saying this is my first post on the Nexus, and I would say I am relatively inexperienced with psychedelics in comparison to many of you on here. But I hope you can help me break down my first DMT experience, and maybe provide insight as to why my trip might have been so dramatic (although I think I might have an idea haha) and perhaps future tips? I would love to hear whatever it is that this discussion provokes within you!

I will do my best to keep this as organized and chronological as possible, so I will try to keep background information as simple as possible. This was my first time taking DMT through a vaporizer, and my first true breakthrough. Me and a buddy had decided to take a single 1.5 hit each, and go from there. Upon reflection and sometime during the Trip, I realize it was an incredible amount, although it did not occur to me prior due to my friends device malfunctioning, which left him in a moreover sedated looking state.

But I digress, as my friend “Raul” (name change) fell into this deeply relaxed and unresponsive state, I decided to take my hit. Little did I know he got a much smaller amount than I would due to a faulty device as I mentioned above. So let’s start the trip! I took one big drag and held it...
1...
2...
3...

-0 min : 3 min mark -

I was only capable of holding my breath for 8 seconds before the world started to spin and the incredible visuals that you expect began to occur. I found myself in what seemed to be a different dimension (what many call the chrysanthemum I believe?) I was being blasted out of my body at the time, in which I unconsciously stuck out my hand to Raul and began squeezing it very tight. So tight, I may have accidentally injured him a little, but he’ll survive haha. I was trying my best to stay anchored to reality instinctively. The room became cast in a beautiful golden light, and everything was perfect. But this is when things suddenly got weird and felt completely off (to me at least, for all I know this could be completely typical). Of course the eerie ringing was screaming in head by this time, but instead of the world to continue to bob and sway reality suddenly straightened itself out. This is where memory and imagination blur, but I believe the following is what actually occurred (although my mind becomes muddled when I think about this).

Just as quickly as reality had straightened itself I felt Four presences in the room with me. They were so incredibly powerful it chilled me to the bone and still gives me goosebumps. For what felt like a second I felt terror incarnate, not knowing the intentions of these beings. I do not know for certain what form they took on, but I want to say they came out of space and time itself and possibly took on the appearance of Raul (I believe they may have done this to comfort me seeing as I was close to losing my shit). Then I remember being told to relax, remembering this is all a part of the process. They stared at me with completely dialated eyes for what felt like an eternity, with an extreme amount of information rushing through my mind in which I could never possibly convey. It was at this point that I realized there were far more than just Four beings, yet at the same time they were One. I’m guessing they chose to visit me with Four distinctive forms. They mirrored one another entirely and began to fill my head with concepts.

3 Messages became clear to me (telepathically for none of Their mouths ever opened.)
1. We are ever-present and always watching.
2. Whatever you think you are doing is simply happening to you (although you play a minuscule role)
3. Everything is connected and life is beautiful, so don’t waste it

-3 min mark-

They were all positioned equidistant from each other, and moved at light speed colliding in the center of the room in front of me to form an indistinguishable black figure with a white outline. It gently tapped the low-center of my forehead and knocked me completely out of my body. Strangely enough I felt a tugging at my gut, almost as if something was being pulled out? I wrestled with it for a second attempting to regain control before giving up such a futile effort.
Simultaneously my body moved incredibly rapidly and fluidly throughout these arm motions in which I physically CANNOT recreate while chanting some incredible yet unintelligible mantra. I continued for a minute or so, absolutely incapable of controlling my body in the slightest sense. But I knew this was the process in which I had to undertake for this Being to do its thing, whatever it may be. This Being was taking care of me, and it became me. The two of Us became indistinguishable, looking at everything with kindness and love. Raul was staring at me with what I could easily tell was a mixture of horror and awe.

-5 min mark-

Now I take no credit for this whatsoever, but I could see within his eyes exactly what he was feeling and thinking. It was almost as if We could reach out and physically grab his thoughts and emotions. And believe it or not (I am certainly skeptical myself) but We began to recant exactly what he was thinking and would finish sentences he began, not so that We could seem impressive in any sense, but to prove to him that I could be entrusted to this Being and that he in fact was not really speaking with me in a sense. The next sentences that came out of my mouth continue to provoke my mind in incredible ways to this day;

-7 min mark-

“I know everything seems crazy right now, Raul. But We are okay. We want to speak with you.”

And yes, at this point I was referring to myself and this Being in a plural sense. However, soon enough I began to regain my individuality and knew what it felt like to be a god. After all, to have achieved this sense of consciousness, I feel like we all are in some sense (perhaps in different manners and forms but we achieved greatness nonetheless).

-9 min mark-

At this point I began the Great Comedown as complete and utter shock settled in. It felt like my brain activity had increased so exponentially and violently that my whole body had heated up and I was sweating profusely. My body had also felt like it had been through the damn ringer, coursing full of foreign energy so strong that I thought I was going to die at one point (which i’m certain happened regardless lol). I fell into what seemed to be a meditative state for a minute or so.

-11 min mark-

My individuality slowly returned as the Being said bye and left me feeling incredibly empty, yet hopeful and content simultaneously. Reality slowly fell back into place as I realized I had been sitting next to Raul in some strangely natural cross-legged position. His jaw was still all over the floor and had not attempted to recollect himself. I knew exactly what happened for a moment, then everything escaped me.

It continued to escape me until I took LSD a couple weeks later. I had been on the Comedown when all these memories came rushing back to me so forcefully that I began acting frantic and irrational. It wasn’t necessarily panic but a mixture of paranoia and shock that made me realize I was crying. I was pretty fucked up emotionally to say the least, and didn’t sleep at all that night. I felt as though I could feel them watching me which left me incredibly unsettled. Now I get a comforting feeling upon the reflection of my DMT trip, so I’m guessing it was just a side effect of an intense dose of LSD and cannabis. However I’ve taken much higher diesel of both before, and have not felt anything quite as profound.

Thanks for reading my essay, props to you for getting this far ! I hope you don’t think I’m being dramatic or have an overactive imagination, but I refuse to rule that out as a possibility. It’s just too bizarre.

Regardless this was the most bizarre thing I have ever experienced in my life. As you can tell I am still reeling from this shocking experience weeks later. I do not know exactly what I’m looking for, perhaps just an outlet, but I would love to hear your thoughts!

First time experience with a powerful psychedelic, a deep one, and an edgy revival under the effect of a powerful psychedelic and a powerful paranoia-enhancer... I don't see anything strange!

The physical movements sound interesting, please record yourself next time hehe

There’s no way I couldn’t next time around! I believe those movements and the mantras I spoke of could possibly have something to do with the subconscious/shamanic transformation? I am not very well versed in these topics however, but I plan to pursue them in my spare time and I will save you the conjecture. Perhaps there is no way to know for certain so I will just leave it up in the air.

But I cannot express how relieved I am! I was hesitant to post simply because I kept telling myself that I likely just had a subtle God complex (that was not very subtle at the time haha) or maybe had just taken an extreme dose and gotten extreme effects as a result. Regardless, I still just could not explain the feeling associated with seeing into my homies thoughts and psyche, and looking at him with a Plural kindness. Again, I say “I” but it was really a “We” and I would not take credit for it at all, I am obviously just not capable of doing that. I just have no idea as to what to make of the experience as it seems most people do, but it felt great to get it off my chest.

I sincerely appreciate it brother.

btw I have an incredibly strange drawing to upload when I return from vacation. although i’m not an artist, nor have I ever been very creative, I was astonished to see what I drew upon remembering the events that occurred! hope y’all enjoy.

Well, my scientific mind would probably associate those movements with impaired motor function due to drug intoxication. Simple, but effective Not as mystical and appealing, granted!
Moving during the trips is not unusual, and we're all familiar with it from a young age, "acting" our dreams. Our mind paralyzes the body during dreams, so we can't act them out, but that control fails sometimes even in natural conditions... with drug induced, no surprise it would fail.

In fact we all go totally (and temporarily) insane every night: paralyzed, delusional, dissociated, impaired memory, etc... lovely, huh?


Looking forward to seeing it!

I completely agree, especially since this is just such a powerful substance. My rational self is telling me that I was so overwhelmed that I got ahead of myself and chalked it up to some abstract craziness. And that whole reading thoughts was likely me just reading the atmosphere of the room, I’m assuming that it wasn’t too hard to guess what he was going to say with his jaw on the floor . Likely just the result of my incredibly amazed and impaired state.

The sleeping/dreaming thing I find interesting though because those movements are moreover jerks and twitches in response to dreams occurring and chemical failure to regulate stillness. I’d have to say it’s an interesting theory, but one that I doubt has anything to do with the strangely precise and fluid movements that “I” did.

But I get back this weekend so hopefully I’ll have time to finish up the drawing and present it by next week! Although I do not know if I can remember at this point what the entirety of this being looked like.

Cheers!