Thank you for sharing your experiences.
Congratulations! You've moved beyond beginner level and started to develop a deeper relationship with this marvelously mysterious material. It sounds like now is a good time to take a step back, heed the lesson at hand, and start working on integration. Focus on the day-to-day and begin making those shifts that lead you away from that path to the darkness you glimpsed.
This is a common theme I think. It reflects my own experience and those I've seen of many others. The tryptamines can be stern teachers and they have a way of holding you accountable and making you face up to things you may not particularly want to face up to.
When you come back to approach the material again, come with the integrity of having implemented the last lesson and with clarity of intention for why you are picking up the pipe. What do you want to get out of this?
You will encounter unimaginable splendor and intensive difficultly along this path. Ultimately they are both gifts and there is much to be gained here. Remain grateful, maintain the sense of wonder, and keep your sense of humor in tact.
Haapi Trails