Hello, my name is Ash, and i fell in love with psychedelics ever since i randomly acquired a tab of acid whilst trying some mdma. This was around the time i was 16, I had done no research, and it was somewhat of a uncomfortable trip, i was in a hotel room with an elderly gay mate of mine and it sure got awkward at times. Something awoke inside me, it was this thought i was telling me "i finally understand". It was truly mind opening and i found it to be the most fantastic feeling ever, i described it as a "a version of happiness i have not experienced before, i can control it and feel it through my entire body."
Since that i had been tripping pretty evenly, i've tried 2cb, mushrooms, ketamine, ayahuasca, mdma, amphetamine (BAD) and coke (BAD). I have also been a long time stoner for 10 years. I am now 23 years old, have recently (a year) been introduced to this lovely psychedelic family i hold close that host the most amazing parties in the norwegian forest yearly.
My most intense experience was with LSD, we had some liquid sourced from a local shaman, and despite having done it over 100 times i did not expect anything extraordinary out of this trip. The whole thing was just a complete bug in the system and it all ended up with ego dissolution, completely erased conciousness i did not exist in this world anymore and i was one with everything and everyone. I also fell in a timeloop where i was "packed into GIANT sized files" and each time when they were finished packing i would ask some alien "why" and they would tell me a joke.
Since that moment i have sought after the experience of leaving body AND mind completely. My ego death was EXTREMELY uncomfortable, alot of physical pain (a sensation most likely) and emotionally, the feeling of dying, LIKE ACTUALLY DYING IS SCARY AS FUCK. The exhausted mind i had when i landed was not like anything before, i told myself i would never want a trip to take me to that place again cause i prefer to stay on this earth as i had no control. The only thing that saved me was the fact i kept reminding me "you have only done acid, you gonna be ok, you wont die"
After listening to alot of Terrence Mckenna i was convinced that this lunatic of a guy was really onto something, whatever direction of life and purpose he had he was on the right path. I am convinced that the way of psychedelics is a way to learn "what the meaning of life is". It's each to their own but just existing is a big part of it, and doing psychedelics on the journey to get a tiny hint of the perspective needed to see how small we really are is what is interesting.
My first encounter with the deems, this being the DMT nexus i will try to not tell my life story. Some shady speed junky told me he had some and i was willing to overpay like crazy cause i had no idea what the price was. I took it to my best friend who was done for trying to smoke it and we ended up trying to make a lightbulb pipe. The whole experience was horrible, the most foul nasty tasting plastic smell that just stuck to your mouth and would not get rid of with anything.
That turned me quite off the DMT, just because the lack of availability and the harsh reality of how hard it really is to consume this molecule correctly.
Then i was invited to a ayahuasca ceremony, i felt priveliged to be invited, but my friend probably just needed people to attend for the money's sake as there was the cost of transporting 2 shamans etc. I was expecting some mad hallucinations and true ego death, but with 2 nights of ceremony i had little to no effect. I did not puke, nor did i feel like shitting myself. I only had 2 cups the first night, and second 2 1/2 so i can maybe blame it on the fact i did not drank enough, but others was "gone" for "hours" meeting aliens and such, although i was not the only one with no results.
This was pretty dissapointing, having spent hard saved up money on something and not gaining anything out of it other than the companionship of many new wonderful friends. The only thing i truly experienced was me saying "i love everybody" over and over again like 100 times to the point it just got stupidly irritating and it was the only thing i would say. Despite it sounding like a good thing i could not maintain this positive attitude for more than the duration of the trip, it faded out the day after and i could not implement my newly found love for everybody.
So as time passes i'm still on this journey to find something similiar to the LSD ego death experience and i got ahold of a gram of dmt and also like 14g shrooms.
I tried to do the mckenna - 5 gram in silent darkness, but with little to no effect, maybe something was off that day or just not the right strain of mushrooms for me, they were albino a+ which i had tremendous positive experience with before.
Well this gram of dmt was like holding a portal to another dimension, i had also invested in the GVG but found quickly out it's a tricky machine to use and with alot of wasted DMT i ended up putting it on the shelves until i was ready to just load up everything i had left in it with a newly aquired mesh.
Then there was the whole point of making changa, i am after the breakthrough experience and mixing my dmt with a MAO'i sounded like a good idea. So with my googling skills i learned how to infuse dmt and harmaline onto herbs. I felt like a little super scientist when i did it, and with great results!
It went a long time without me testing it, it's kind of shared cause i made it with my friend but now that i have it i feel it's very precious and will most likely share more when i am able to aquire more.
anyways to the point of smoking it, i was so happy when i tried it first time, i just made a plastic dry bong and tried to take a huge hit. It was not an intense experience but i knew i had done something correctly cause i knew there was something here.
The second time i was upstairs in my room with my parents downstairs, i was getting all ready and had little to no pre-flight anxiety. I had taken about 40mg of harmaline in a capsule, read up a bit on it and had been on a LSD trip earlier that day. As i inhaled two massive hits of this wonderful compound, this sudden anxiety showed up. It was the set & setting, i was not comfortable leaving my parents downstairs worried for me if anything were to go wrong and therefore i clinged onto this world and i just concentrated on not puking or make any noise as they will wake up and come rushing asking what the fuck am i doing. They are oldschool parents that has no knowledge of drugs and are very strict in bringing that stuff home (sad times).
Anyways i had released the bong and i just layed there in awe cause the visuals, the colors like everything was so majesticly nice and soft. There was also a sense of hearing other people in another dimension and laughter. There was a hint of the "jesters?" you can hear around. But i was quickly turned around for not respecting the DMT, and it told me or i told myself that i should not keep going and that the one big hit was definetly enough for now.
When i became a little bit more sober i had extreme clarity in my brain, it was like i was in a meditative state where i could find answers to anything i asked. Every question came with an answer, a desire to do something specific. Now that im here not affected by the changa those questions might have been wise to write down, but in the moment it something i hope will linger and i will know when the time comes for the answers.
This whole world all seemed like a simulation for me since that LSD ego death. Everything on this earth seems so minuscule and pointless, it left me with a slight hint of existential crisis, it gave me no fear of death (i do fear death for others though). All i know is i am young, and if there was anything i wanted to do in life is to spread happiness, positivity, to learn, to teach and to aquire knowledge that is unobtainable from this planet. The journey to go where i once have been before and ask them more questions. To experience what LSD had to offer me with other substances offering the same type of experience I.E Ketamine, 5-meo-dmt, psilocybin, and so on.
All i know is that i have truly become a better person after i started using psychedelics, it's not something that is integrated with each experience it's something that comes naturally if you follow the life of a hippy and try to do good by yourself and not just mindlessly want to consume drugs.
Being down to earth and not caring what other people think is what really gives me true happiness.
Sorry for butchering all this writing, i am coming down from the LSD and Changa from earlier and i cant contain my thoughts all too much. Just wanted to give an introduction to myself.
Here is a link to my LSD ego death report:
https://www.reddit.com/r..._ego_death_trip_report/