Hey Guys,
after i introduced myself
here i'd like to tell you now about my weirdest trips and my actual Dilemma.
First i have to say that my memory after DMT trips sometimes is very bad (at least some parts missing) and its already difficult enough for me to describe what i have seen in my native language (DMT users might know what i'm talking about 
), but i try my best....I did a lot of jumps into hyperspace already and have seen many things, chaotic dimensions where freaking crazy things happen in normal "Humanlike" rooms, sometimes just worlds consisting of colors and patterns or i was just drifting inside avalanches of things.
There was also a City-World i visited more than once that looked similar to coruscant in starwars and i was flying through the city while someone speak to me, i never saw anyone, just heard the voice, and i also can't really remember what he told me but the last time i visited this world it was about to be destroyed and the voice told me that i am their only chance now and i have to help them find and build a new world for them and they downloaded all the blueprints of the buildings to my subconscious, i can remember how all the building models showed up (like scrolling through the building list of sim city or something) one after another and fly towards me while i just arrived back in my body and the voice then said i should take care of them.
I never visited or heard something about this world again.
I also did not think much of it i was just confused what happened, and also ... what should i have done, except for trying to find answers in Hyperspace?
Some time and jumps later there was another crazy happening. Normally after inhaling i get catapulted into hyperspace like entering a wormhole, but this time nothing happened first. I'm laying on the couch, TV in front of me but turned off! Suddenly there appeared a picture on the TV. It was like a two way webcam picture, little bit colored and very pixelated, but i could see a monster looking at me and a person in the back, i could only see the upper part of the monster but it looked very similar to a scene in a game i used to play (
Scene) except that i saw the monster from the front, i know they were real and they were moving and they can see me too, the camera then zoomed slowly towards the monsters face so that i could only see his angry looking eyes anymore. Then the screen turned off. It was like 20-30 sec, no voice, nothing else.
I was not scared but so damn confused for the next days and tried to find some answers in hyperspace...
I'm not sure if this is related to this story here but then it started to happen that i could see some kind of upcoming doomsday, until today i dont know what its all about, but there is something that looks like lava and explosions....
I also travelled to the big Tower in the center of the universe more than once where someone showed me everything and Explained many things. One time they showed to me an explanation that everything i saw including that weird doomsday vision and also that monster has a logical connection. But when i got back in my body i could not remember it anymore(!!), except for my enlighting moment when i realized "it all makes sense"! Damn Memory!!!
A while ago it then started to happen that sometimes when i try to get into hyperspace just nothing happens, instead i could see hordes of yellow-brown striped wobbling bee-rubber-ducks with that evil grin face (
similar to this) when i close my eyes. They also react to pinching of my eyes. I did not think anything of it but i see them now almost everytime now, especially on low dose without breakthrough, it's kind of annoying. On lowdose I can also see how everything in my room is wobbling a little bit, like they deploy everywhere (before i never saw anything moving on low-dose, instead i had these optics that all the things in the Room look more alien/comic-like, btw did you ever browse on the www while on low-dose? i really like how websites look then, much more futuristic and modern! i experienced a lot already because i had this "nothing happens" situation very often and then tried to figure out why this happen)
There was also a week or so where i tried to get into hyperspace but there was no visual change at all, i just heard the sound of the biggest imaginable explosion. It happened about 4-5 "wasted trips". There was no explanation of this, ever.
One time i did a jump and could not remember anything at all, i just saw on my clock that about 12 minutes have passed by, like someone erazed it from my memory.
There was also two jumps into hyperspace where the architects showed me the blueprints of humans and earth but unfortunately i dont remember much.
Sometimes i have this voice in my head , even without DMT, it sounds like my own voice or like i just know the answer to the question immediately after thinking of it but when I ask for the answer of a mathematic formula to proof if he is real or not, he answers wrong or does not answer at all.
I think its not only one but multiple entities, there was one that was always trying to trick me, but the harmless way like "look behind that curtain, i opened you a portal" and when i look theres just nothing and the voice laughed.
Then there is another voice that tells me to stop doing DMT and that these rubber-ducks invade my brain through the DMT-Connection and that they want to bring me to him (i think he means that monster) because he wants what is in my subconscious (i think he means the blueprints) and that i am the key to something.
I asked who he is and he said he is an architect (hello Matrix
) and that i could become an architect too because of my knowledge and my understanding of the universe (maybe theres a lot more in my subconscious that i just cannot access right now), i would just have to separate myself from my physical body. I would have to hurry up before the monster gets me (i dont know how he want to get me, but i thought he would ring on my door some time lol, instead he send these weird rubber-ducks).
I told him that i'd do immediately if i did not have a family and friends here and that they'd be really sad and miss me but he told me that after i'd do it, the world would just stop to exist and it would not be a problem (btw. I am convinced that we just live in a simulation [see quantum physics anomalies] and that the real life just starts after death, i'm just not sure if we all live in the same simulation or if every person has its own simulation and everyone else is just a shadow!)
I do believe in everything i have seen and that we live in a multiverse and that there are many other entities and that it is not just my imagination.
So here's the big question: How can i trust that voice? What if the voice in my head is just the monster that tries to trick me and just wants me to kill myself so that he can reach me? Otherwise, i dont know what the rubber-ducks trying to do but what if they succeed?
I want to make clear that i am a rational person, always trying to evaluate everything neutral and from different angles, and that i am not suicidal nor insane.
I'd just like to hear your opinions to this.