Hi everyone, hope you're having a good time. I've had a great experience over the past 6 months or so reading all the information available on this site, experimenting with DMT, changa, aya, mescaline, and pharma all the while using this wonderful place as a guide. I don't think I would have had a way of experiencing these particular psychedelics without this community, so thank you for existing, everyone! I do think the entire focus of The Nexus is truly incredible and positive, with strict attention to providing accurate, relevant, and reliable information for anyone to come by and use. I am not a chemist by trade, and have only 4 or 5 successful feats of kitchen chemistry under my belt, but my main desire to finally put out this post and become a full member is for the purpose of being able to ask intelligent questions in the right forums. I plan to also add anything I can, whenever I can, so long as I am certain that the advice I am giving is accurate, correct, and would be beneficial and in the best interest of the person asking for it or for any other wanderer who might come across my posts. I think it is important to remember that psychedelics have the potential to hit every single individual very differently, and to be careful and mindful of that. Aside from physical safety concerns, I would never just flat out tell someone what to do when it comes to psychedelics. I like to refrain from telling people what to do or think in general. So that's just a little bit about me.
I'd also like to share my most recent Pharmahuasca experience, after which I have decided I will be taking a break from psychedelics for a little while to take some time for reflection and integration.
180mg mixed harmalas (supposedly 53% harmaline, 47% harmine) freebase + 1g ACRB powder mixed into orange juice. Waited 10 minutes, 100mg freebase DMT disolved into orange juice.
This was the first physically, horribly uncomfortable trip I had so far. My stomach felt absolutely terrible as I began to enter hallucinations and memories as they were projected across my backdrop of vision. After 30 minutes of feeling awful and not having a good time I crawled to the bathroom to try and throw up. I'm really bad at forcing myself to throw up in general, and after trying with my fingers for five or ten minutes to no avail, I washed my hands and face and went back to the couch. Lots of mental battles with my own self transpired for an unknown amount of time. I remember lots and lots of conflict, a first for me with ayahuasca. At some point I made it to the bedroom and felt a lot better after getting warm underneath my sheets. My stomach pains finally subsided and I began to have wonderful visions. The whole mixture of substances, the universe, the particular trip, and everything and anything that ever was began to buzz, vibrate, hum, and then sing to me like a bellowing, beautiful force that left me dumbfounded. My whole soul was sitting there on its seat of existence with its mouth gaping open at the bewildering powers and bounds of perception. I remember thinking this is it, time to go, lets blast off. The spiraling hallucinations were somewhat mosaic in nature, and I visited realms and vibes that seemed very Egyptian. I finally entered a magnificent pasture, or some kind of hillside like mountain top. The sky was beautiful, and despite the saying "the grass is always greener," I can confidently say no grass is as green as it was in this place. Comets, spirits (? I think) and flashes of power scintillated across the sky, exploding with colors. That's when I saw them. Bipedal, horse-faced creatures with dark, long hair and maroon lion-like bodies. I'll do my best to articulate what this meeting was like, but I truly can't. Just watching them exist and move blew me away. They did not need to speak, and the powerful humming and singing had become so loud there was no more room for the sense of hearing to interpret anyways. They communicated to me by moving almost like a dance or kung fu, showing me what they were capable of, on channels of connection so far past what I ever thought was possible, and far beyond interpretation or recollection for putting into words right here. They zapped me with bigger ideas than I had ever been able to even grasp at in my entire life. Ideas so powerful, they were beyond omnipotence. It was as if they knew of ways to reconcile good from bad, like they could harness things such as the speed of light and the power of love, and they had the ability, knowledge, wisdom, and might to aim those ideas in the right direction for the good of all of existence. I got all of that from just watching them jump and fly around to the sound of ayahuasca. The trip took off in another direction, and continued on, but that part was the most profound thing I had experienced in my entire life.
Anyways, I hope you liked it.
"It was altruism, not violence or force, which associated our higher cortex. Our intent is to awaken that memory." - Indigo